I had a major jaw surgery in 2022 to correct a severe underbite, and resultant chronic pain. I've been super self conscious of my nose (and the rest of my face) since and am having therapy.
But I'm also considering getting nose surgery. What are your thoughts? What would you change?
Hi MPP24.
A very happy new year to you, and a warm welcome to our Community. Its great to have you aboard!
Its sounds like you've had a bit on your plate already. Chronic pain is absolutely not ever a good thing, and I do hope that this has or is being brought under control. Living with chronic pain is not something I would wish on anyone.
You mentioned you are conscious of your nose. I am not going to ask why, as that is a matter for you, but i'm not seeing anything in your photo to be concerned about, unless you have been told to have surgery for medical reasons (i.e, to assist breathing or some such reason)
I cannot tell you what to do. After all, I am not in your shoes. Its easy to tell to others what to do, but then, the person dishing out unsolicited advice does not have to live with consequences .....
But here are somethings I've learned over the last year, where I have had to have major surgery to remove a tumour which at the time was benign, but post surgery testing showed it to be a rare type of cancer.
Firstly, you are doing the right thing in thinking BEFORE you sign up for surgery. Good move.
All surgery carries risks, and i have heard of cases where the surgery left scars that were not expected because the surgery did not go to plan (my own surgery went differently to plan, but worked out AOK thankfully!)
You therefore need to think not just how you would feel if hopefully it goes right, but how you might feel if it went awry. Hopefully it goes to plan, though, but remember, while it is likely, there is still a chance of failure.
There are threads on this forum where people have reported how they feel when things have not gone as hoped. The words are very powerful. And while it is unlikely, it does happen. All coins have two sides. Surgery may produce better or worse outcomes.
Its worth taking that into your therapy so help you explore how feel about surgery in a realistic light, putting it into context about why you want the surgery. Private surgery is often thought to be a salvation, and sure,it usually is. but you must remember that possibility of alternative outcome.
Remember that post surgery, you can or may feel initially worse that you expected. I had a big dose of post surgery blues. Strewth, that took some shaking off! Be prepared that that may happen, and prepare a strategy for dealing with that if you go ahead.
DO NOTHING until you are sure you understand all risks, and fully what problem it is you are trying to solve. And WHY
DO remember that surgery may be either MEDICALLY NECESSARY (operate or your condition will deteriorate), or cosmetic (to improve the appearance of something). Know which yours is. The reason for the differentiation here is that MEDICALLY NECESSARY procedures may have more urgency to them. You should NOT FEEL UNDER PRESSURE to rush a decision if the procedure is cosmetic (you should not be under pressure either way, but medically necessary procedures often have timelines to get the procedure done)
You asked a question. What would I change?
Respectfully, I decline to answer!
I can only tell you what I've learnt in the hope that you can use some of that to find whatever course is right for you. And when you set that course, I wish you Godspeed on it and every success with it!
If you need anything, just post,and i'm pretty sure you will hear from someone!
CB
Hi MPP24,
Happy & healthy 2024 to you!
I empathise with the pain you experienced prior to your surgery. I had a significant dental failure a few years back, I ended up with chronic jaw pain for two years while it all got solved. Who'd have thought a small joint in the body can cause so much grief! I have renewed respect for anyone who lives with a chronic pain condition, it's completely exhausting physically & emotionally! So, firstly, I hope you're in less pain post surgery and that it went well.
From your photo, to me, you have a lovely nose. BUT, I so understand that it's easy for another to say 'your nose is fine' when you don't feel that it is. I speak from a nose perspective (details in my bio') Plenty of people tell me mine is fine, or mildly affected, but it's not the nose I used to have, which I grieve! That you're engaging with therapy is a really positive step, as it should help to unpick the 'feelings' side of your situ'.
From experience, I do echo Circuitbreaker's wise advice. I have had nose biopsies & surgery and I wasn't warned about the details, such as scarring, which, if I'm honest is what bothers with me most! Unless medically advised to go ahead, take your time before making any decisions. Knowing what I know now, had I researched further, sought second opinions etc, things would have very likely worked out differently. Surgery is a big step to take and there's no going back!
Wishing you well, do take care, keep chatting
Mave x
Great post! Nice one Mave!
Thank you both! I think the thing I find is that every time I see my nose I'm reminded of the trauma of the jaw surgery and the pain before hand. It's also much more upturned than it ever was, and isn't the 'same' as my 'family nose.'
I've read a few posts about peoples experiences of nose jobs and the impact that can have on your physical and mental wellbeing. I guess I'm hoping people will say the nose looks fine, don't change it, which might help my head 😅 x
then you are smart! Good on you!
Remember both options are valid; operate or not.
But to really understand your reasons is absolute wisdom. And if you proceed, then being able to understand the risks, well that is a good thing.
I get what you say about “family nose”. I have a family grey hair streak just over my left ear! Family genetics eh?! Thats a heart matter. Dont let it rule your head though….,
When your heart and head say the same thing, then you will have found the right course of action, whatever it is.
Oh, and the nose looks fine! Cbx
The connection between previous jaw surgery and how you're feeling about your nose since is so understandable, as well as grieving that you no longer feel that you have the family nose. Hopefully that's where therapy will be able to help you the most 🤞
Again, from personal experience, anything on the face is hard to avoid as each time we look in the mirror, there's constant reinforcement of personal 'fault' thinking.
I also feel that the current world is so obsessed with appearance, at least in part driven by the power of social media, this makes us super sensitive to our own looks. Be reassured, that in real time, others often don't even see the detail that we're angsting over.
Take care for now, keep chatting.
M x
Hi MPP24
Welcome to the Changing Faces community! Thank you for sharing about your situation with us. I understand you have been feeling self-conscious following your surgery and the change to your appearance and that you are considering further surgery but are feeling unsure.
It’s great to see you have already connected with some of our lovely members on here and that you are taking the time to ask questions, share how you are feeling, and engage in therapy.
The decision about whether to have surgery can be a difficult one for many people as others have shared above and discussing how you feel about your appearance, and receiving support around self-esteem, confidence and your feelings about your identity may help with your decision making.
We also have a webpage on managing loss of identity which may be relevant which I have linked below:
changingfaces.org.uk/advice...
I hope you find this a helpful and supportive space.
Take Care
Caroline – Changing Faces
Hi MPP24 – I actually saw that you had posted previously in relation to your jaw surgery.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to deal with chronic pain, on top of a face-altering procedure. That’s really quite a lot and I am feeling for you.
I had a maxillary advancement and was given extremely poor pre-operative information on how this would affect my nose and my facial shape. At the time I had no support, and sadly I rushed into a corrective rhinoplasty that I now regret.
Really happy to speak more about my experience. But it sounds like you’re doing the right thing – speaking to a therapist, surrounding yourself with family, taking it slow.
If an opinion is worth anything here, I think your nose is beautiful! It’s not the family nose, but it’s your nose. A rhinoplasty often has the potential to take it further away.
I so empathise on the loss of agency and the pain associated with it.
Something I recognise now is that jaw surgery is a deep trauma to the body. There are trauma recovery strategies out there that I find helpful to bring awareness to what you’re going through. (Currently reading: Waking the Tiger, the Body Keeps the Score)
I can say that it can take years to heal from this traumatic experience and grow into your self-esteem. But whatever you do, you’re right in sharing this and taking the time to process such a major life event.
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