Bullying

[younique]

I've been really interested lately in the affect bullying has on our lives and what we can do to overcome it. I've often thought many of us would have had a lot less problems over the years if people would have simply had the courage to treat us better. At times I will let my mind lament on harmful social encounters that I've endured and become fearful that it will happen again.

So since I'm now more accepting of my condition, Im shifting my thoughts from resenting it, to looking at what I can do to lead a more empowered life with my difference. It's not changing, so I have to change how I react to it, and how I deal with other people reacting to it.

So understanding the psychological reasons that people bully is helping me to detach from it.. seeing that it is not me, and I'm not the only one to experience it. There is extensive research on the power dynamics of bullying and how society can move away from a culture of intimidation to a more accepting and inclusive environment for us all.

The following article was enlightening.. it basically says that there is a third important part of bullying that people don't often talk about. Namely, how social reactions to bullying perpetuate the behavior. It says if bullies didn't have an audience, many times it wouldn't continue. Bullies are looking for social status, and bystanders look to maintain social status.

Have a look psychologytoday.com/intl/bl...

[rapture4u]

Hi The bullying says more about the bully than it does about the target, that if they have to resort to bullying, they themselves have self esteem issues, for people who have self esteem wouldn't do this in the first place.

[DolaChangingFacesUK]

Great insights here younique!

I wonder though, does knowing that the problem is with the bully make it any less difficult to bear?

The article shows that the effects of bullying can live with the victim for a long time and s/he can start to play out the role of victimiser in later life without even realising it. And how true, that the bully gets away with bullying because bystanders do nothing. I recall an incident in a school where one student refused to be the idle bystander as her classmate was being bullied by another. She got between them basically declaring "Not on my watch" and reported the bully to the authorities. Fortunately, the matter was treated with the seriousness it deserved. The bullying stopped and the student who refused to be the idle bystander soon earned credibility as one not to be messed with. Years later she became Head girl at the school.

I find the writer's concluding line very insightful - we should focus less on bullies, who will always be with us no matter what we do, and more on the audience that bullies play to. After all, any play that no one attends will quickly be canceled. It proves the saying, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Thanks for sharing.

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[DolaChangingFacesUK]

👏👏👏

[DolaChangingFacesUK]

Good for you winterday! 👏