Lost and beyond devastated: Hi everyone... - British Liver Trust

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Lost and beyond devastated

WildHorses101 profile image
69 Replies

Hi everyone,

It is with the greatest sadness I write this update……

My very brave wonderful kind gentle soulmate very sadly lost his life to this awful Liver Disease yesterday morning.

My hero battled tirelessly for 13 months, this past 2 weeks have been hell, he slipped into a severe Hepatic Encephalopathy Unconscious episode that the toxins have just raged through him and stole him away from me. All our hopes, plans and dreams are gone and after 33 years of being together almost 24/7 I am so lost 💔

The Consultant my husband had to care for him this past week has been out of this world, he fought tirelessly to give my husband every minute chance, one thing I am so grateful for.

Although the treatment for H.E. is Lactulose, Enemas, suppositories and Rifaximin combinations to try to eliminate the ammonia toxins, there is also a drug called L.O.L.A (L-Ornithine, L-Aspartate) that my husband was trying and it was working and reducing the ammonia level, for my husband though, sadly, it was too little too late.

I hope by me mentioning this treatment, it may just pull one of you out of a H.E. Episode god forbid you develop this horrific complication.

My wonderful husband clung on and got through his 60th birthday Friday, I read all his cards to him, ive been allowed to stay with my husband 24/7 right till the very end

I am beyond devestated 💔

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WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101
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69 Replies
wp69 profile image
wp69

Very sorry for your loss , your husbands suffering is over , hope you find inner peace.

Dinah48 profile image
Dinah48

I’m so sorry for your loss this is truly an awful disease. Take care of yourself.

LilacPoppy profile image
LilacPoppy

So deeply sorry for your sad loss xx

AyrshireK profile image
AyrshireK

Saddened to hear your update, thoughts with you at this terrible time. I guess the positive is that he is no longer in pain and suffering and hopefully in time you can come to rebuild your own life and be happy again.

Katie xx

My hubbies consultant in Edinburgh suggested LO-LA as the next thing we should try for hubbies issues which do seem to be increasing on the HE side of things. She can't prescribe them as we are in a different Health Authority and we are struggling to get them at the moment as GP can't/won't prescribe and hubbies local consultant has retired with no one looking after his 'historical cases' so trying to get someone local to finally make a descision on the L-Ornithine, L-Aspartate.

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toAyrshireK

Hi Katie,

I really do hope you can get LOLA, it was reducing the Ammonia levels, it was just given to him as an option too late, my husband had already gone into an unconscious state and they were administering via N.G tube.

I really wish your husband well in his fight with this awful awful disease

Thank you for reaching out Katie

Take care

K xx

Readlots profile image
Readlots in reply toAyrshireK

Hi Katie, I don’t know if they have Healthwatch in Scotland but it might be worth flagging the issues you’re having with them. They might be able to help make sure your husband is under another consultant and the medication is available. healthwatch.co.uk/what-we-d.... I know you’re very proactive in advocating for your husband so I’m sure you’ll get it sorted. The hospital PALS team might also be able to help. Good luck

AyrshireK profile image
AyrshireK in reply toReadlots

Thanks for that - Never heard of Healthwatch in Scotland. Retired consultant is now looking into the Lo-la thing and is maybe referring hubby to next nearest hospital who also have an outreach clinic from Edinburgh (he's currently doing a half day a month clinics still). His new secretary has informed me that no one is currently managing the retired consultants 'historic patients' only new ones which isn't right at all. Thankfully hubby has the safety net of still being under Edinburgh too but loads of other general gastro patients and other liver patients locally arn't.

Readlots profile image
Readlots in reply toAyrshireK

I think they’re getting lots of new patients because of Covid. It’s the same with Diabetes. There just isn’t the capacity within the system so I worry that routine care of existing patients will get lost as they firefight to deal with patients in crisis. I’ve had two clinic appointments cancelled. The consultants secretary has said it will be at least 6 weeks before they organise an additional clinic. And my consultant isn’t retiring. Fingers crossed and be prepared to be one of the people shouting loudest. I’m glad your husband has the support of Edinburgh. I’m thinking of asking to transfer to Addenbrookes but I’m not sure they’ll have any more capacity. Interesting times…

Millie09 profile image
Millie09

I'm so so very sorry 😞 for your loss ..Please take care of yourself at this difficult time

My thoughts and prayers to you

Linda

Oldbloke1 profile image
Oldbloke1

So sorry to hear about your husband it must be horrible experience for you.

Shep666 profile image
Shep666

😢

Aotea2012 profile image
Aotea2012

Very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you.

BritishLiverTrust1 profile image
BritishLiverTrust1PartnerBritish Liver Trust

We're so sad to read this, and very sorry for your loss.

With best wishes from all at the British Liver Trust.

redpoint72 profile image
redpoint72

My deepest condolences.....Another poor soul taken to early by this terrible disease...

Thoughts are with you ,take things easy.

Take care.

Chris

lifebegins53 profile image
lifebegins53

I am so very sorry for your loss x

Corin1950 profile image
Corin1950

So sorry to read your very sad news. You must be heartbroken after so many years together. You will have so many happy memories to sustain you as you come to terms with this terrible loss. I’m three years down the road and although you don’t forget and live with the grief, it does get easier over time. Thinking of you at this difficult time. Please take good care of yourself x

Guppy26 profile image
Guppy26

I'm so sorry to read this. You have been through such a lot. Try to go easy on yourself, your husband was a very lucky man to have you by his side through it all. x

AlexJ91 profile image
AlexJ91

I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband was so lucky to have you by his side. Take care of yourself during this difficult time x

Ewife profile image
Ewife

So so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you very much, please take care.Ewife

Rshc profile image
Rshc

I am so sorry for your loss, I am so glad you got to be with him and that he was so well looked after by you and the hospital. It's so very kind of you even at your darkest hour to come here and think of others. Am sure your advice will help someone. Take care and I hope you have lots of people around you looking after you at this time xx

Lantana100 profile image
Lantana100

so very sorry for your loss. Thoughts are with you.

Suziecruze profile image
Suziecruze

so sorry for your loss😢❤️Xx

Browsingquietly profile image
Browsingquietly

So sorry for your loss lovely. Much love and best wishes to you and your children, look after each other xx

Sophia1968 profile image
Sophia1968

I am so sorry to read such a heartbreaking post, life is beyond cruel sometimes 😢 my love and thoughts are with you at this very sad time, in time I hope you will get some comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering and I know that the beautiful memories in your heart although painful right now, will also be a comfort in time, please look after yourself and take care during this very difficult time, and please stay on this site and reach out as often as you need to, everyone will be here to help you when ever you need them my lovelyxx

LemonMeringue15 profile image
LemonMeringue15

I'm so sorry for your loss, try and take one day at a time and don't expect too much of yourself x

Dionne19721318 profile image
Dionne19721318

Iknow my words can't ease your pain .

Please accept my most heartfelt and deepest condolences💜

Nip1 profile image
Nip1

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Husband to this horrible disease. Take care and God bless.

Tommy62 profile image
Tommy62

Godbless 💙❤

Chick_atee profile image
Chick_atee

So very sorry for your loss. Look after yourself as best you can through this tough path of grief. I take lactalose but will ask about LOLA. Thank you so much for sharing. May you find peace and comfort

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toChick_atee

There is Rifaximin & LOLA (L-Orthinine L-Aspatate) as other options for H.E.

Unfortunately for my husband, it was too little, too late

Bs1524 profile image
Bs1524

so very sorry for your sad sad loss xx

Mango5cm profile image
Mango5cm

my thoughts are with you and sending love and a big virtual hug . It must be heartbreaking for you to lose your loving husband . I hope happy memories of your 33 years together bring some comfort to you . Xx

Superbly profile image
Superbly

I am so sorry for your lost I hope you find happiness in the following days and weeks to come he is now at peace he will always be with you just say his name and he will be there in your heart. RIP

Mick1414 profile image
Mick1414

My heart and prayers go out to you on your sad loss xx

Readlots profile image
Readlots

I’m so sorry.I know nothing will make you feel better right now but sending a big hug and hoping you have people around you to love and support you at this horrible time x

Kayseylou profile image
Kayseylou

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this very sad time.

God Bless you 🙏

Belleben profile image
Belleben

So sorry for your loss x

LolaBow profile image
LolaBow

I'm so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself... Big hugs

Oldbits profile image
Oldbits

I dont know what to say, hold close those that are dear to you and take life one day at a time. You must be exhausted. Sending you the hugest of hugs. So pleased to hear that he was well cared for at the end after all the care and love you gave him. Xxx 💗

Sorry for your loss. x

Jesue profile image
Jesue

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband last year and know how devastated you will be feeling. He is at peace and he will live on through your memories. Sending hugs

LorraineLouise profile image
LorraineLouise

There are no words! This is an awful disease. Which, at the end, causes so much suffering. For so many. Know that your loved one will always be with you. And I am sure, he is so grateful that you were there with him, in health and in sickness. I’m keeping you in my prayers.

Lorraine Louise

Violet74 profile image
Violet74

So sorry

Dogbot profile image
Dogbot

Hi Wildhorses I am sorry to hear your news, I agree it’s a horrible experience and lots of thoughts coming your way from my wife and I 💕💕

Missmanor2 profile image
Missmanor2

So very sorry sending hugs

Cfmol profile image
Cfmol

So sorry for ur loss, hopefully new research can b done for this disease and early detection my thought r with ur family at this sad time

Researchfreak profile image
Researchfreak

So sorry for your loss.. sounds like you both put up a fight.. keep strong. Cry shout scream then live your life to the full the way your sole mate would want you to live. Thinking of you.

💔 No words just heartfelt love at this awful time.

Snips71 profile image
Snips71

my condolences. I am so sorry to read this. You were amazing with the support you gave him and other fellow carers and people who were suffering from this devastating illness. My thought and prayers are with you and this awful time. I’m here if you need anything xxx

Lils2019 profile image
Lils2019

I am very sorry for your loss, words are not enough right now.

Thinking of you at this very difficult, sad time x

Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself xx

kyia profile image
kyia

I'm so sorry for your loss x

AliceT profile image
AliceT

Very sad for your loss. My heart goes out to you. You are so kind to share what you learned about Lola. It may be in my partner's future. Your screen name reminds me of that love song; perhaps it is special for you, too. I hope it and your other memories bring you comfort, and I wish you strength and peace.

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toAliceT

Hi AliceT

Please do ask about LOLA, (L-Ornithine L-Aspartate) and if the team who take care of your partner does not know about it, ask them to investigate it!

LOLA is amino acids and it absorbs ammonia, and passes it through the Urea cycle. Please research it, print it out and take it to your consultants. It was beginning to make a difference and bringing down the extremely high ammonia level for my husband.

My husband was also being treated with Lactulose 4 times per day, Rifaximin 550mg twice per day, 2 enemas per day during his last 2 weeks of life.

If this treatment regime helps people, my husbands suffering and devastating loss has not been in vain xx

Greengal314 profile image
Greengal314

I’m so sorry. Sending healing thoughts to you and your family.

Glenfaba123 profile image
Glenfaba123

So sorry for your loss it's so devastating I lost my husband exactly the same way on 1st April this year sending love and strength to you and your family x

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toGlenfaba123

Thankyou for reaching out, how on earth do you cope? Xx

juggling1 profile image
juggling1

Very sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I can only offer my condolences.

I hope you can take some comfort from the sheer number of amazing messages to you on this page.

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply tojuggling1

Thankyou so much

Mami77 profile image
Mami77

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toMami77

Thankyou so much

MisterX profile image
MisterX

Deeply sorry for your loss.

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toMisterX

Thankyou

MrsWorried profile image
MrsWorried

So sorry for your loss x

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toMrsWorried

Thankyou x

MrsWorried profile image
MrsWorried in reply toWildHorses101

I lost my husband in February to this awful disease, feel so sorry for you x

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toMrsWorried

I am so deeply sorry for your loss 💔

No one truly understands what youre going through with a loved ones loss to this horrific disease do they unless walking in your shoes. It steals your loved ones away from you, shatters hopes and dreams doesn't it, its such a cruel disease. What ive witnessed, I never want to see again ever! Ive been left with so much to process im broken and lost my soulmate of 33 years, i dont know where to begin. How do you cope? xx

MrsWorried profile image
MrsWorried in reply toWildHorses101

I'm not sure that I do cope very well to be honest. Some days I'm so cross with him for not fighting harder and being strong enough to stop drinking, other days I feel let down that there was not enough support for us both. However, I take comfort in my faith, and I know he isn't suffering anymore. He hated the deterioration in his physical health and now he's at peace. Be kind with yourself, there's no right way to do this. X

WildHorses101 profile image
WildHorses101 in reply toMrsWorried

MrsWorried,

Thank you for reaching out to me, please may I ask if can I stay in touch with you?

I dont feel so alone now

My best wishes

K x

MrsWorried profile image
MrsWorried in reply toWildHorses101

Of course you can, feel free to drop me a message anytime. X

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