Mood swings

[Breakfastbabe]

My husband has a decompensated liver. Recently I have noticed that he gets angry very quickly whereas, when he was drinking he was very placid He has been told he doesn't appear to have H.E. so are these mood swings liver related or would it be more likely to be his abstention from alcohol? I am treading on eggshells at the moment.

[DK421]

if you don’t mind me asking, how much was he drinking and how long has he been abstinent? I went from an almost daily drinker for over 20 years to completely sober last September and it was a challenge (still can be, but to a lesser extent).

[Breakfastbabe in reply to DK421]

He was drinking heavily most of his life but has been sober for 8 months.

[DK421 in reply to Breakfastbabe]

Some parallels to myself in that I’m married, have cirrhosis, have been sober nearly 7 months and drank all my adult life.

I’m not sure if helps but I can describe things from my perspective. For almost all of my life when I’ve had a worry I’ve spoken about it sure, but a beer or wine was never far away to help “smooth out the edges” of whatever my concern was. Being diagnosed last year was the biggest shock of my life to me in terms of my own health which created massive amounts of ongoing worry in my head. And of course because of what it was, the old faithful crutch of alcohol was removed so I had no real idea how to deal with it effectively. It was really scary and left my emotions all over the place. It’s the only thing that’s happened to me that’s made me give up alcohol (one day at a time) but at the same time it’s the worst circumstance to give it up in. It’s hard enough trying to stay sober, but staying sober and dealing with the additional stress and worry can feel too much at times, especially considering that there is an overlying feeling of guilt wrapped up in it all, that I did it to myself. That can bring feelings of really low self esteem as well.

Anyway it’s fair to say that my emotions can be a bit of a mess. I consciously try to manage them and be a better person to those around me and I think I’m successful for the most part, but not all the time. I’m always looking for additional strategies to cope.

Eating. It sounds simple, but small and frequent meals with good carbs and protein help. And people with cirrhosis need that anyway.

Therapy. I started seeing a counsellor and that’s really helped. There was stuff going on in my head I didn’t know was there.

Church/faith. I know this one won’t be for everyone but has really helped me.

Control. I always feel better when I feel like I’m controlling things related to my cirrhosis or post acute alcohol withdrawal that could be losing weight, getting fitter, prodding GPs for blood screenings. Anything really. All of those things can create positive feelings

Exercise. The only buzz I get these days, but always worth it!

And sleep. This is the most important thing for me. Sometimes a short nap through the day can help, but the most important thing for me is to follow ALL the sleep hygiene advice there is out there. As a bonus it has gotten me reading paper books again!

And for me when/if I’m being crabbit/grumpy with those I love, I never mean it. I recognise when I do it and wish I wasn’t. I’m so thankful that my wife cuts me slack now and then, and I try to do that for her when she gets frayed too (with work or whatever). It took me getting cirrhosis and getting sober until I really realised what teamwork in a marriage was (married 23 years).

Hope that is of some help, all the best of luck.

[Breakfastbabe in reply to DK421]

What a lovely reply. Thank you. I thought perhaps it was dealing with all of this was the issue and in a way that is a relief. I am seen as the bad guy as I nag about diet and keeping appointments. It doesn't help that I have a UTI which makes me particularly tearful. My husband has a lot going on health wise and I know I should be more patient but sometimes all I want is a hug when he's had a go at me. Although I know he wouldn't seek help I am just proud of him and relieved that he isn't drinking. Thank you again for helping me to see the other side.

[DK421 in reply to Breakfastbabe]

Personally speaking I’m glad my wife is there to keep me on track! it’s so important to stay on top of it. I went for an ultrasound yesterday and there have been major improvements (reduced liver fat) from the one I had six months ago and that’s all down to the lifestyle changes which I wouldn’t have enacted properly without my wife.

[Breakfastbabe in reply to DK421]

Well done. You are right we are a team. I wish hubby would stick to his diet but he has done really well with his abstention. I hope it continues to go well for you.

[DK421 in reply to Breakfastbabe]

Abstention is definitely the hardest part, so massive respect to him for sticking with that. A lot of long time drinkers prioritise not drinking over everything and let other things slide as it can be hard to do it all at once. It may just take a wee bit of time, and incremental changes to the diet. I found once I decided to avoid ultra processed food that my diet started to sort itself out. I got into that headspace by listening to the likes of the Zoe Nutrition podcast which is excellent. Good luck!!

[Oldbits]

Hi, been there! Its horrible you have all my sympathy and a huge hug. It's not you, dont forget that. Hubbie shouted at me and our daughter but was an absolute delight to everyone else. Everything turned into a challenge and a battle. He was decompensated then but we were eventually told he had mild HE. It turned out it was anxiety aswell over his illness and he felt terrible because the alcohol no longer blocked the affects of the cirrhosis . I found there was a pattern and it was usually worse when he was hungry or had over done things. So i made him snacks and encouraged him to rest. It only improved as he started to get better and accepted he was ill. Xx

[Breakfastbabe in reply to Oldbits]

Thank you so much for this reassurance it has really helped. He does tend to be scratchier in the evening and yesterday was a really stressful day for both of us. I will take that on board and try and let it wash over us.

[Grassroots112]

I’ve been sober just over a year and the first few months I was irritable, moody and would snap at the slightest of things which I was told is normal and warned about PAWS too which I’m lead to believe can come and go even after 2 years. It’s gotten better, but I still have my ups and downs regarding my mood. I like to think I’ve mellowed, however, since quitting booze as I know that riggers all kinds even depression. It could be that or a whole host of things related to the liver. Have you brought this up with a doctor? I can also get moody when I’m hungry and find if I eat certain foods they tend to ease my anxiety, fruit for example. If it’s booze related hopefully the longer he remains sober the better things will be, good luck!

[Breakfastbabe in reply to Grassroots112]

Thank you for your kind reply.

[Roy1955]

Add into the mix that he is horribly scared of the future and it's understandable if he is ratty occasionally.Your Dr might be able to prescribe an antidepressant.

[Breakfastbabe in reply to Roy1955]

He says he isn't scared but I believe he is. I know I am.

[DK421 in reply to Breakfastbabe]

I remember in the early days trying to put a brave face on for folk but inside I was bricking it.

[BritishLiverTrust11 Moderator]

Hello

We facilitate a range of virtual support groups for people living with a liver condition (and their families and carers).

If you [are in the UK and] would find it helpful to speak to others with shared experience, you can register to join a group here

britishlivertrust.org.uk/vi...

Best wishes

British Liver Trust

[Fibro2021]

If there is decompensated liver disease, then it is difficult to assume that hepatic encephalopathy is absent. Irritability may be one of the symptoms of HE. The truth is also that with alcohol abuse there is a whole complex of reasons leading to changes in behavior.