Today hubby is 149 days sober. His appetite has come back and he has gained 2 stone in weight. However his medication has been changed around, so he has been taken off of water tablets for the Ascites and put on water tablets for the Oedema. So I hope the weight gain is not also down to the Ascites coming back. The doctors have also put hubby on Pregabalin to help with the neuropathy pain, which seems to have helped. Hubby say the neuropathy is his worst symptom now and often stumbles and loses his balance. The tilt test he was booked for got cancelled 5 times, so were are still awaiting that. Hubby's hands at still shaking, so he has an appointment with Neurology later this month. Hubby's mental health and mood are much better too. He has apologised loads and loads for the thousands and thousands of pounds that he has spent on booze over the years. He has also apologized for his attitude which he was not aware of but that family and friends have told him about.
I had 9 sessions with a counsellor, so I feel a lot better and was able to offload quite a bit to her. I have also had a couple of massages to help look after myself.
So that is the positive stuff, now for the not so positive stuff. I have booked us a 7 day cruise in December to have a break away and booked another cruise in May 2022 to celebrate hubby's 60th birthday, but this time its a 14 day cruise. The problem I now have is that hubby is now suggesting that he will drink on the cruises. Our daughters have all told him no he cannot and should not do that, as he will then have to go back to day 0. Hubby commented no he would not have to do that and that he could just carry on and say he was on day??? but had a two week break/relapse. I am hoping that the 7 day cruise will show him that he can go away on holiday without drinking. It is a seven day cruise, but it is going to the xmas markets in Le Harve, Bruges, Amsterdam & Hamburg, so we will be on and off of the ship. In years gone past hubby would spend most of a holiday sat in a bar. Hopefully being on and off of the ship will mean that Hubby will be distracted enough. I know that there is nothing that I can do and that it will be hubby's choice, but I also feel that I cannot put my life on hold either. I almost feel that I am an alcoholic myself, as I do not feel that I can drink indoors anymore and when we go out as hubby is still not allowed to drive, so I still cannot have a drink as I have to drive. I have never been a big drinker but I now feel that I am missing out, silly really