Hubby was very shocked at what she said. Hubby had a CT scan recently, it shows the lymph nodes in his lungs are stable, they are about 12mm in size. His liver is still Decompensated. She told hubby that his condition is very serious. She said that if he does not stop drinking, then he probably has months rather than years left. She asked hubby if he was ready to give up drinking or even if he actually wanted to give up drinking. Hubby replied yes and no. She asked hubby if he had understood what she had said. He said yes and that he was expecting her to tell him that he had cancer. The registrar told him that the way his liver is, it is as serious as if it was cancer and that he is very unwell. Hubby was very shocked and went very quiet. She went on to tell hubby that if he decides to carry on drinking, then she will put him in touch with the palliative care team to support me and hubby. Hubby queried if they are the end of life team, she told him that they also help people who have life limiting conditions, but went on to say that she does not think hubby is at that point yet.
The registrar also took some blood tests as she wanted to check his kidneys and some other stuff. Hubby has just had a call from the hospital to say that they have the results of his blood test and that his kidneys are dry. They have told him to stop taking the spironolactone tablets immediately and that they will let the registrar know.
Hubby has been very quiet since we got home, I guess he is processing what he was told today
Not sure what he will decide to do next, but tough times ahead
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mumof3girls
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Thank you for sharing your hubby's update, i do hope that this is the wake up call he needs, its so tuff on everyone involved, he can help himself now if he gives up drinking, he's really got to want too though to extend his life's expendancy, it is a tough road ahead, hope it all goes well for you xx julie xx
I don't have any advice on your situation, but I noticed in your description you mentioned that your husband's liver tests historically all seemed fine before he became ill. There is too much confusion among GPs, and it's often repeated here, that when enzyme levels are normal there is no liver disease. People need to know that even if they have substantially damaged their livers from drink in the past, a basic liver blood test may not reveal that and enzyme levels may be normal if there is no active inflammation.
I think many people with long drinking histories have a false sense of security from normal enzyme tests (which do not generally reveal the extent of liver damage), don't change their behavior, then it's too late.
Wishing you and yours lots of strength.
Well finally he seems to have seen the light, had his wake up call, hit rock bottom and all the other cliches associated with alcohol addiction. I am only sorry he has left it so long and probably too late before realising he " has a problem."I am pleased you will be getting some support through palliative care though and hope your hubby also realises what his addiction and illness have been putting you and your family through. Hope things start to get easier for you.
Last night hubby did ask me a few questions to clarify what the registrar had told him. He asked if he was right in thinking he may only have a few weeks left. I clarified that she said he now has months rather than years left if he does not stop drinking.
Hubby told her that he did not want to go to group sessions or rehab. She told hubby there are very few rehab spaces in the UK, but she could offer him a week in hospital to detox him safely. Hubby asked about going cold turkey and she told him no. She got her alcohol nurse to call last night, but hubby was on another call so she called me. The alcohol nurse is going to call hubby on Monday to see what help and support she can give him. This is the nurse that I spoke to a couple of weeks ago. I spoke to her about hubby's failing health and his driving, she then got hubby's appt brought forward and said she would have a word with the Dr's re my concerns. Whilst she was on the phone to me she also confirmed that the registrar yesterday is also writing to hubby to confirm that she does not want him driving anymore either.
The dr who called last night re hubby's kidneys also said that by stopping the spironolactone that his Ascites may come back. He also said they will need to give hubby a repeat kidneys blood test in a few days.
Hubbys registrar said that she will see hubby again in 4 to 6 weeks to see how he is doing and whether he decides to stop drinking or not. However the kidney dr last night said that she will probably contact hubby next week re his kidney results.
I am really not sure if hubby will be able to give up drinking or not. However he has now had a really powerful wake up call. Hubby being hubby got in the front yesterday and went straight to the fridge and poured himself a cider to make himself feel better and drown his sorrows.
Hubby did talk to me last night about maybe doing the week detox. The registrar also mentioned that if hubby was able to give up for 6 months then he might be eligible for a transplant, which hubby also spoke about last night.
I feel helpless, as there does not appear to be much that I can do. Its all down to hubby now. All I can do is keep my🤞 that hubby finds the strength and willpower to give up drinking, otherwise the chances of him still being here at Xmas to meet our second grandchild are looking very slim 😔
Addiction is such a horrid disease once it takes hold of a person
He seems to be throwing the help being offered straight back in their faces and a cider being the first thing he reaches for after being told the realisation of his situation, tells me he has no intention of quitting and certainly not in time to get on the transplant list. He, like my husband will probably be told he will need a kidney transplant too. Bit of practical, financial advice to you Lisa, ensure his life insurance and pension are close to hand. Sorry if it sounds mercenary, but you've gone through hell, you are going need to start enjoying YOUR life x
I agree with almost everything you say your very knowledgeable and give good advice but that last sentence does sound very mercenary and am not sure appropriate at this time
Well l did say sorry if it does sound mercenary but sadly it's the reality..... how will the mortgage be paid? How will the bills be paid? It's just another added pressure to have to deal with when your husband has been drinking away the household income.
The dr did tell him if he abstained for 6mths, then he could become eligible for a transplant. He was talking earlier about finding out more about a week hospitalised detox, but now he is talking about cutting down himself, so that when he goes back to see the registrar that he is completely off the cider.
As for life insurance well that's another story. We tried to claim the critical illness cover. The insurance company requested hubby's medical records. They have said that hubby did not list the treatments that he had had several years previously, so his policy is null and void. On the plus side they have refunded him every payment he has ever made on the policy. So hubby now has no life insurance. I have already sorted his pension, to protect my future when he is gone.
The six months usually has to be 'proven abstinence' with a life long commitment to zero alcohol post transplant. Usually it demands that you take part in some form of recognised alcohol therapy and transplant assessment will be very thorough for someone with his history. We've many forum members who have reached that point and undergone transplant due to previous alcohol related liver disease but it isn't a simple 'given' .......... he'll seriously, seriously need to address his relationship with alcohol.
He has already proven he cannot cut down for himself and cutting down is not sufficient to save his life. His only chance of prolonging his life is a transplant and how long does he plan on cutting down before he decides its time to quit completely? The 6 months sobriety required before he even reaches assessment let alone receiving a donor liver just isn't going to buy him enough time..... sorry ... sad but true !
Lets hope this is the jolt he needs. Good luck to you both.
It is good that he has seen a doctor who has been absolutely straight with him.You are right - it IS all down to your husband. He cannot now say that he does not know what the state of his heath is. It sounds like the NHS support for him is there as long as he will accept it.
If your husband can walk he still has a chance. He is quiet now but you need to talk with him, tell him for the sake of family of not for himself...don't let your family go through this. It is a kind of worst torture, not being able to help someone who regrets what they did their whole life. It is up to him and only him, but you will be affected also..not fair. He can get better if he qualifies for a transplant of he stops drinking.
Ok so hubby has had a couple of days to get his head around things. He keeps telling me that he is not ready to die yet. He says he is going to have to stop drinking, as he still has one daughter to walk down the aisle and wants to meet his second grandchild who is due at the end of the year.
He has asked me if I think he should ask about doing the detox in hospital or do I think he will be able to stop on his own. One of our girls has reminded him that he is very stubborn and can dig his heels in, when he wants to, so she has suggested he channels that into stopping drinking.
Hubby has asked me to help him cut down by helping him keep count of what he is drinking,as his memory is shot. He forgets loads and often walks into a room saying, I can't remember why I came in here? The specialist did a test on him to test his memory. She drew a star without taking her pen off of the paper in one continuous line. She gave hubby 3 attempts to do it. Hubby did it on attempt 3. The specialist said that if his H.E. was bad, then hubby would not have been able to do that. She also said that the longstanding alcohol abuse may also have damaged his memory.
As I have mentioned before, I cannot give up on hubby now, we have been together about 35 yrs and apart from our daughters and me, he has nobody else to turn to. He is a really lovely man inside, who has been taken over by addiction. He suffered severe physical abuse, emotional abuse and poverty as a child, which I know is no excuse, but it does explain the trauma he has previously faced. His father was a very heavy drinker who was in the pub 7 days a week.
I don't know what to think? I really don't know if hubby will be able to stop drinking or not? What other symptoms do I need to keep my eye out for, if hubby carries on drinking? The specialist said his health could go down hill very quickly?
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Update on hubby.
Update on hubby again
