Three times surgeons have agreed to do a hip replacement: three times the anesthetists have refused me saying that there is a very high likelihood of a catastrophic end to what is 'bread and butter surgery'. This leaves me in great pain, my mobility restricted to walk in in 20 metre bursts, sleepless nights, and a feeling that I had a bleak future.
About 9 months ago i decided that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'd start to go to the gym and signed up for slimming world. I've lost 4 stone in weight, and for a long while the gym went fine, till my hips started to seize up, leaving me with very little mobility (house bound) for 2 days after each session. I reluctantly gave up the gym.
Yesterday, I went to see the surgeon to get my gall bladder removed. She agreed, then I went through a preoperative assessment. This included the cycle ride test, after which the practitioner said that with my level of fitness, it would make the operation very risky. I have to return in 2 weeks for a sound echo of the heart and to see the anesthetist.
On returning from the hospital I signed up for the gym immediately, thinking that if I'm going to go down I'd do it fighting.
I'm buggered if I do and I'm buggered if I don't. Am I the only one who feels this way?