Following my previous message where I'd been to A+E with abdominal pain,and general unwell. I was told by doctor that liver looked very cirrhotic. This was last Thursday. I only get pains now if I move a certain way and felt a bit odd this morning on waking up but my Husband says you gave to pick yourself up. So, since last week I've contacted the Liver Trust a few times who have been great. I'm eating to the letter as too scared to eat anything else. Today I joined a new gym that's a 24 hour gym. Hard to get to the gym with 2 special needs kids of 10 and 13 but I've also spoken to my manager yesterday to ask about reducing hours from 35 a week to 25. This way I can build the gym in everyday and still support the kids when they come home instead of coming in at 6.15pm to find my Son on You Tube, not wanting to cook, so not eating right and nit having any time. My Husband is a bus driver, the shifts are terrible and I work in a really stressful nhs job. Both kids have autism and adhd and one has Oppositional Defiant Disorder too. My Dad has blood cancer and had chemotherapy.all Summer and Mum.had a severe head injury on the hospital corridor when taking him for results. I don't drink excessive but lately life has been too much so had had a bit ore than I should have, although I'm not an alcoholic. I haven't drunk since 31st Dec and am super healthy eating and trying the best I can. Its just so hard to stay positive and not worry about cirrhosis as I keep beaking down crying ad having panic attacks. I've got an mri on 25th and dreading it.
Trying to pick myself up: Following my... - British Liver Trust
Trying to pick myself up
It sounds like you are doing the right things with diet and exercise. Keep up the good work. Hopefully you will get more information and direction at your appointment. One day at a time!
Thanks so much. My Husband said I need to adopt a positive mindset, but it's hard when you just feel so down about everything. As you say, one day at a time. I've been being so careful watching I have been eating too and the gym showed me how unfit I am.
I think you will start to love the gym. It is a good time to clear everything out of your head for a bit. And it not only helps with weight loss but it lifts mood and improves the ratio of muscle to fat!
Thanks Sunnyskies, I did feel in a better mood when I got back from tge gym yesterday. Today I'm going out walking with my kids. Only a few miles but to get out of the house and not sit here worrying about things. Might see if I can go gym later as it's a 24 hour gym so doesn't shut at 5pm like my old one used to.
Hello Skye48.
You mentioned that you have a MRI on the 25th and you are dreading it.
I am sorry to hear you feel that way about it - that is a strong emotion to balance by yourself - dreading something can feel particularly lonely for some people - but you are not on your own - we are all here (and you have been heard).
I didn't want to make assumptions based on what I would think about having a MRI appointment ahead of me; please may I ask:
- is it the prospect of travelling to the venue /
- sensations of being in the Clinic / Hospital setting /
- the experience (or the unknown) around the imaging taking place /
- your concerns about the potential range of test results /
- something else (which my imagination has failed to consider) /
- all of the above
...which you feel fuels the spiral of your anxious anticipation of the 25th to the level of dreading it?
Hi there thanks for your message. I'm scared and worried what they will find and what I will ge told, results. I have 2 kids 10 and 13 who I dearly love and don't want to leave and I'm scared of being told I've got 2 years or less to live. Trying to improve things now so that it will hopefully improve things but there was no guidance from the hospital apart from not eating red meat or chicken. I never eat fried chicken anyway and the liver trust said chicken breast skinless is fine. I don't like tge way A+E told me that and said you can go now. Not told anyone at work apart from general manager as I have put in to reduce hours from ASAP so that I can get to the gym everyday. Getting time for me has always been an issue due to my Husbands shifts, 2 kids who I can't leave because of their age, and they have learning issues and special needs and of course work. I've been silly not making time for me and now it's backfired in my face. I'm going out this morning with the kids walking just to not sit in the house dwelling on things. Think it's affecting my mental health to s certain extent, the worry of it all.
I took you quite literally! I am very dizzy and nauseous and keep falling down, tho nowadays I cannot get up as my left leg (stroke) will not let me. I have stage 4 colorectal, spread to my liver and lungs, yet, after the big op a few yrs ago, nothing, as yet has developed! It is a kind of miracle, yet I feel dire, but,my attitude in life has always been about making lemons! Your hubby is right, tho I m certain there are times when it is very, beyond, busy for you, very! No matter what you are enduring, you are still a mum and wife and, I am sure an example to us all! I have not drunk for over ten yrs, I suddenly decided not to; I am very lucky! Every person has a lapse sometime, It is not a capital offense, and with your workload, who would blame you! Life is hard enough without all you go through! All the very best to you and yours! Jon
Hi Jon thanks so much for your kind reply. I'm Sory to hear you have been having such a bad time of things. I don't want to worry my parents either as they are not in good health my Dad especially with blood cancer, so am going to try and manage things myself. I'm blaming myself as I didn't work harder to look after myself but st the time we needed the money with tge kids and mortgage too. Now I'm just really scared that I've ruined my life and my kids and Husbands too. I've come out today walking as far as tge kids can feeding donkeys along tge way and bringing healthy snacks eg walnuts which I hate and fruit. I think everything got on top of me and I allowed it to. I'm just hoping I can improve things the best I can. I wish you all the best for your health and hope you've got a really good support network too.
Dear Skye, I do well, Thank yo fr your kindness, but, if I may, it seems that you are giving out, all the time! Nor do you give to receive! One never stops being a parent! For the moment, it's about you , going through, a hard time. Please, at least give your parents a chance, because I am sure that they would want to help you! If they are local, then that is good? A call to your mum, asking if she could prep something, or switch on the oven, etc, take a look after the kids, Or the same with your dad, Or, one or both of them alleviating things, by listening or being there, for their daughter, strength will be found and for their grandchildren, too! You parents might even be worrying why you have not said as much. Give them a chance to feel wanted and useful, please? It would be a change for your children, too! Also freeing you of some of the heavy stuff can help with fun times with the kids! Help you remember who you are and not only a sick woman! Stop, stop, stop, with the self recrimination, see what happens when you lose sight of who you are? You have not ruined anyones life. Do not give in because that could! Imagine your kids without a mum! You would fight for that not to happen! Here is some music to lift you, I hope
I pray you a long and more manageable life!
Oh my love my heart goes out to you. You are under so much pressure and it sounds as if everything falls on you with little or no support. You must be such a strong person to tackle all of this and you are doing so well to start your new regime. I hope your results bring you some positivity because you so deserve it. I understand that you are dreading your results, it is a natural reaction, but whatever the outcome, it means that it can be the beginning to the road to recovery, even with cirrhosis as you are doing all the right things. It is not necessarily a death sentence and there are several success stories on here with people living many healthy years. I wish you all the best and I hope you can get some support to help you through this.
I am so sorry that you are going through this - it sounds like absolute hell - please try to find some time to be kind to yourself - even if it is an extended bathroom break at work to sit quietly.
Many here will empathise with what you are experiencing. And it isn’t just your health. BLT is a great starting point but don’t be afraid to find other sources of support to help you.
It might not look much but you do recognise the challenges and that is part of starting to deal with them (it is a cliche I know but it is also true)
You seem to spend a lot of energy looking after other people but don’t forget yourself in all this
Take care
D
Feeling frustrated
End stage liver disease
Liver function test
Trying to process
