If everything had gone to plan, I would be in an ITU bed in London following an all day surgical resection and removal of 65% of my malignant liver. The fact that I am able to post from my own bed at home is not what I wanted. I had dared to raise my hopes & allow my family to start to believe in miracles ( surgeons have a way of sweeping you up in a wave of their confidence of success )
However, no miracles! Two hours into the operation it was decided that the metastasis were too extensive & had spread outside of the liver and the full resection was not started. So not only do I still have all of my tumours - they are now floating around everywhere and I am in great discomfort from the several holes that I now have in my abdomen, back for epidural, arm & neck for arterial & central lines. I am feeling completely defeated. I have no idea what to say to my family. We are just stunned. They kept me in overnight for observation & let me home at lunch time today. No plan, no idea what to do next!
So having a family BBQ tomorrow. Going to pop some steroids & pain relief & smile on through it. The boys know things are bad. My youngest just keeps crying & my eldest is steering well clear of me. Hubby really does not know what to do with himself. I am assuming someone will make a decision about what next on Monday.
If all your prayers & support could be bottled, we would have a cure. They helped me as I was facing the operation, thank you