This is embrassing, but I decided to post . After 4months absent of alcohol I slip and now drinking again. This is not what I wanted, there are reasons but might just be an excuse. Consultant was very blunt with me, carry on and you have at most 2 years, stop and extend your life.

This of course was a wake up call again and one I knew was coming. I am now back to consellosing and consideration for full detox and rehab again.

Reason for posting not sure, a warning for others with ald and dependancy issues.

Determined to stop again as my symptoms are coming back with avengance, all thou Lfts are not bad but out of range.

Sorry guys letypu down.

18 Replies

  • A brave post Bigplanet. I am not long sober myself, only about 7 weeks and I still think about alcohol every day.

    It is a shame you relapsed but you have plans to get yourself back on track. Wishing you good luck and strength. I understand.

  • Sorry to find things are not good for you BP. Here's hoping counselling will support you to understand your dependency and help you out of it. Onwards and upwards. You are such a support to others on here, sending big hugs ((0))

  • Bolly and woodtree

    Many thanks for comments. Indeed onwards. Monday will be to decide with consellor the next step. Its good I have a supporting and understanding partner. Thamks again

  • Good luck with the counselling etc. take one day at a time.the fact you want to sort things can only be a positive xxx

  • I have been there and even after 3 years I still think about it, but it does get better!

    I now consider it a price I have to pay to still be here!

    The loneliness of the friendship of the pub I still miss, but have replaced that with other things to do.

    Add the feeling better and being able to function a little it has to be better

    I remember what AA said take it one day at a time!

    Good luck and all the best


  • HI

    I am sorry to read this, i spoke to my counsellor yesterday not that i have started to drink but sometimes i really fancy a glass of wine..I know its only a craving. The way i deal with it which works for me is to think it wouldnt be just one glass it would be more, that i have wasted the last 6 months being dry and finally i dont like the illness we have and lastly no chance of getting on the transplant list with out staying dry..i find as time goes by the craving dont last as long either the get shorter...

    I would be pleased if you could update me. keep well.


  • Put the relapse behind you and move forward again. Good luck with the counselling etc. We are all behind you.

  • Thanks guys for all your comments and support. Meeting is momday to decide what is best options are.

    - gradual reduce

    - at home detox using medicaton

    - inpatient detox, if they can get me a bed

    - redidential detex, 3 month waiting list.

    Problem is I am not right for home detox and partner is unsure if this is safe as I will be taking a new drug due to the liver as most detox drugs are absorded by the liver. So we waiting advice from Dr and consultant.

    I keep uou updated guys...xxc

  • Stay calm & focused.. You can so this. We are all thinking of you & willing you through this blip-positive thoughts now. . Good luck for Monday.

  • Hi bigplanet, never been there, my cirrhosis is caused by viral damage but having tried to stop smoking for 40 odd years I can guess at the difficulty in changing your whole life around. Don't beat yourself up too much but just keep trying; I'm sure you can do it.

  • Bigplanet well done to you for being so honest about having a drink. You have been honest with yourself and others. After a consultation with a very blunt, matter of fact professor I was advised if I want to continue on the planet, no more wee aperitifs (or lots of them) for me. Complete and change of lifestyle was needed and today its good. And that's something I've learned just keep everything to this day. When I want to beat myself up I have to remind myself I'm not doing that now and tomorrow, well we'll see what tomorrow brings! You have taken such a massive step to move forward by being so honest. It takes so much courage to face up to it so good for you. Take all the counselling, help, advice you can get and most of all be kind to yourself. You are always so considerate with your replies to others so treat yourself well and don't hide away. We're all here on this site because of one thing or another and it offers support to us all. I started this just to say sending positive thoughts to you and went on a bit of a mission statement - apologies!

  • Cookie...thanks for your positive and kind thoughts, it did bring a tear to my as ehat usaid was to the point and honest. I do thank you and I let you all know on my path. Xxx

  • Hi Bigplanet,

    no recriminations from this neck of the woods....when I first joined this forum I was the recipient of some sage advice from you, Bolly and others on matters "of the liver" which were very beneficial so I shall endeavour to reciprocate.

    I would put this in the "step backwards" rather than "end of the world" category...I've certainly transgressed recently after 3 months of abstinence and significant improvements.

    A few glasses of wine here and there led to a couple of minor binges-didn't feel great!

    Although my health is nothing like as impaired currently-I have no diagnosis-I certainly know what will happen if I go back to drinking like I did for the last 30 odd years. From what I've read on this forum the symptoms/consequences don't look too enticing......I have no idea whether counselling would work for me or you-I haven't been down that route but I know that I've been in some dark places when I got a bit self pitying. Sounds like you're a very rational chap with some very good support around you and on this forum although I know rationale when drink is involved is not really part of the equation. Maybe you should throw yourself wholeheartedly into a new project/regime which takes your mind off it-I chose diet(fasting 5:2) which made huge improvements in my case-don't know if this is possible with your liver condition and it mat not be advisable?

    I think that where there's a will there's a way-so far you've let no-one down other than, possibly, yourself.

    Stick with it.

  • Briccolne

    Again...I am blown away by the support and your comments. Indeed I am a normal guy professional person. But it happens. This site and peopke on here are a supporting and a motivation. Again I thank u and all

  • Bigplanet - my husband currently has decompensated liver failure & unexpectedly related severe kidney function problems, all to do with the liver failure - he is on dialysis in the intensive care unit at our hospital. i cannot begin to describe effectively how horrible this is. he is not yet on the transplant list so this may be how he ends his life. he tried many times in the last 10 years to stop drinking so much and has now been abstinent for 9 months. Unfortunately too too late. Despite the anonymity deal on this forum if you want to see where non-abstinence will take you I am sure if you ask the webmaster etc you could find out where we are and come and see him - I am sure that would help you to stop and we would be willing to let you see him.

    He found it so hard to stop as well

    just try..

  • Carer

    I am really sorry to heat about your husband. This is a sad story and position for you and family and of course you. As for visiting, a very kind and one I neef to considr after I have had my conselling meeting on monday. But really many thanks for your thouhts., x

  • Hi. I know how you feel about going back down that road again, I have thought about it more so over the last few weeks. I know things that happen in life are sometime very hard to deal with and yes that bottle took me over, not knowing that it would do me in, if I had known 10yrs ago what was coming I would have stopped then. Then my long term husband left me in lots of debt and two growing boys, I thought that finding out that my youngest son had got Hep C at the age of 15yrs would be enough to do me in, but no just a drink would do it, then he turned to the drug seen and I saw him more in prison than out, I had no help and his Dad and family never spoke to him or me ever again. It was hard over the years but I kept going, My son got clean life was good, I then met my now husband who was and is so selfish drinks all day till he falls down the pub is the most important thing to him no money for bills. I took to my friend the bottle more so this time as had also just lost my job and in all day on my own, then in 2009 I went to bed after a lunch time drink or two lol I came to with a fireman carrying me out, the house burnt down he never paid the house ins lost the lot. Was told by him that it was best to go North to rent, now 6hrs from my two boys and 4 grandchildren, was told I got cirrhosis and stop drink or gone in 6mts will do that then phone call son taken bad go 6yrs back to be with him died Nov last yr. Still off drink and just been told I now have a bad hart lol not good. Is life so bad for you bigpanet, chance it don't go back life is to short and it's what you make of it. I believe you can be strong fight don't let it beet you xxx P.S I'm not

  • Ruby

    This is a really sad story of events and one yhat touchs me on several aspects. I firstly hope you are on the mend in life. And appriciate your comments though5s towars me. I just praise that I have a understanding partner. Though not sure that support will be there, if I carry on. Again to all many thanks for support and

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