Alcohol relapse and Ataxia

[An1063]

hello

I’m 58 male and always had a complicated relationship with alcohol which seems to go hand in hand with stress and anxiety.

After many investigations last year the fibroscan showed no cirrhosis and in the words of my consultant I dodged a bullet.

That was a relief but the brain scan I had showed alcohol induced brain damage and I was told I must not drink again.

After some difficult days with my wife and confession time I’ve been drink free for 6 months until last Friday when I woke up in an ambulance vomiting.

I understand relapse is common but I’m scared it will happen again.

I’m back on disulfiram but terrified the cycle will repeat despite everything.

I suppose I’m looking for reassurance but the feeling of failure is all consuming.

Thankyou for reading

[idyllic420]

Hello! Hope that you are doing well now! Good Job by being alcohol free for 6 months. What caused the vomiting? Was it your liver and how much did you drink?

[An1063 in reply to idyllic420]

Hi Thanks for replying. I had a bad couple of days and my wife suggested leaving home in London to stay with family for a few days. A had half a bottle of vodka on the train and was staring into space at the station I got off at.

Police called paramedics and checked me out which is when I vomited.

Fortunately my sister found me and took me home where I am now.

Having bad withdrawals now.

My head hurts but fortunately my liver function is ok.

What next I don’t know.

[SevereFattyLiver]

6 months sober is a wonderful achievement. Do you have support? A therapist, AA, SMART Recovery, a support group, whatever you think might help you get through the stressful times without reaching for a drink. We all need a little help sometimes.

[An1063]

Thanks for replying and the kind words. I do have a therapist and a key worker although I didn’t get on so well with AA. I’ve not come across Smart recovery yet but I’m now 4 days drink free and feeling bad about throwing it all away.

I’m determined to keep going.

Best wishes

[MLB_77]

This naked mind podcast #490 touched base on “relapse”

I like the message that it portrayed. Don’t use it as something to feel shame and beat yourself up about use it as a learning point.

No other life change are you expected 100% perfect change.

If you go on a diet and eat perfect for nine days but on day 10 eat a cookie do you start back over? Or do you just think wow that was a 90% success rate to end improvement.

You do not lose time off that you had. Learn from you relapse and move on

[An1063 in reply to MLB_77]

👍 thankyou, I’ll definitely give it a listen!

[Roy1955]

180 days to you, 1 day to vodka.

I call that a success!!!

It's a mistake and anyone with a drinking history that's made them sick that says they have not made the same mistake is probably a liar!

Just dont do it again🤔.