HI . I was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver a year ago, I managed to give up drinking for 4 months by coming off slowly but as the pain in side, joints and tiredness increased went back to drink. I drink one bottle of wine a night. Now i have been told I must stop altogether or my chances are 25% of not living 5 years, I am trying to source help and have been put forward for group therapy. If I stop now does that mean I get a few more years of extreme pain, so quality of life wont improve just give me more time, this is wrecking my relationship as we can't have a proper relationship and holidays etc usually involve drinking, so should I let him go and find another person and be happy rather than support me through this misery. Totally confused and trying to hold it together and carry on working
Totally lost and confused: HI . I was... - British Liver Trust
Totally lost and confused
Had a quick glance at your previous posts and I see you have received replies accordingly.
I don't understand confusion. You have been diagnosed with cirrhosis and you must have been told to stop alcohol. Four months great, but you must not use any excuse to go back on it. All your doing is causing more damage and pain. The symptoms you describe can subside with continued abstainance it will get better. I drank plenty but stopped now over year. Had aches & pains, night sweats all gone. You need to allow time. It will never repair, but look after it.
Hi Mitmab.
Don't feel lost or alone. There are plenty of people on here who will support you.
If alcohol is going to kill you then you are best to kick it into touch! It's spoiling your relationship and your life and you really can have a happy life without it.
I used to love a couple of glasses of red in the evening after a hard days work but I haven't had and alcoholic drink now for 6 years and quite honestly I don't even think about it now.
You gave it up for 4 months and so proved that you can do it!
You can't expect your body to go back to normal in a very short time it can take months, you have to stick it out!
It's easier said than done I know but your body will thank you for it!
You are on your bottle of wine a night now but it isn't making you happy.
Go to that therapy. Go to your GP and ask for counselling, get what ever help you need to help you get through it. Don't let alcohol ruin your life!
Come on here and we will support you every step of the way.
Very much hoping that you will come through this bleak time and start to enjoy life again.
Very best wishes to you.
Keep posting.
Alf.
Your quality of life will be infinitely better when you quit drinking, but it’s a lifetime commitment and lifestyle change. You’ve asked about group therapy, so you already know you have an alcohol problem, and I think you know very well that you have to quit for good. Once you reach that moment of acceptance, it’s surprisingly easy to quit.
I used to drink a bottle of wine a night too which is a massive amount of alcohol for anyone. I also equated holidays with alcohol. What a waste it all was, and I’m glad I’ve seen the light now in terms of health and being able to do so many things that weren’t possible as a heavy drinker.
Worth noting that the likes of us, i.e. dependent on alcohol, will never be able to moderate our drinking. If we try, we’ll be back to heavy drinking within weeks.
Sounds like your partner drinks which isn’t ideal, but you’ve been told you’ll last five years if you keep drinking. Surely that should be utterly devastating enough for a loved one to accept you need to quit and even cut down or quit themselves?
You’ve posted about this before but have continued to drink. It’s now time to quit and start living.
Hi Mitmab.
To my mind the only confusing thing is that being diabetic, been diagnosed with cirrhosis and told you must stop drinking to survive... why are you still drinking? Why do you think your pains are cured by drinking? You must know that all the booze is doing is making you sicker and sicker, its not solving any of your pain or problems it's only adding to them. You've managed to abstain for 4 months which is brilliant and proves you can do it, you've been referred for group therapy so please please attend before your drinking spirals out of control and you become another victim of this poison.
If group sessions don't work for you, just go straight back to your doctor to ask about 1 to 1 councelling where you can discuss privately, your life, your fears, what triggers your drinking and how to quit for good.......
The rewards will be a fantastic relationship, booze free holidays and so much more, what could be better eh ?
I wish you well. Best of luck.
Laura
Hi mitmab
A very familiar story to me in many ways. I found that drinking made the pain go away. I know there are people that doubt that but it did - whether it was for real or just psychological I don’t know but it worked for me..BUT how stupid was that of me. I buried my head in the sand - a familiar story on here - until, like you, I got told stop drinking or else. The or else frightened the heck out of me and so it should you.
You did so well stopping for four months but, as others have said, you mustn’t expect a miracle to happen in that short space of time. You have to stay off alcohol for life I’m sorry to say, but am not alone in saying that - as you can see.
Yes, your life will change, but not, as I think you are saying, for the worse, but very much for the better! You will eventually stop needing alcohol to enjoy yourself, you will have money to buy goodies for yourself or your partner, money to go on holidays, and best of all remember each and every one of these good times!
My wife stopped drinking the very day I did, 5 and a half years ago. She didn’t need to but knew it would help me immensely, which it did. I’m not saying your partner has to give up drink but it does help (no drink in the house helps!) but the main thing is that he fully understands what you are going through and supports you in every way possible. That’s my view rightly or wrongly...
You have had all of us tell you essentially the same things so I hope it gives you an idea of what a wonderful life you can have without alcohol once you accept the situation you are in...
Good luck, do please choose the right way - the only realistic way - forward, getting the help others have mentioned if that is what you need to help you stop.
Miles
Credit to your wife for giving up too, Milo. That will have been a huge help 👍
My wife has never been interested in alcohol, but she cooks a lot with wine and leaves open bottles around. Luckily that’s not a problem for me, but if it was I’d have to ask her to stop. You need to be self-centred at times to do something as drastic and life changing as quitting alcohol.
Yes - she has been amazing really and has put up with my issuettes for nearly six years and ongoing......
It’s great that you aren’t temped any more! 👍. I had to buy a couple of bottles of thank you wines and it really made me feel really odd tbh and brought back to memory too many bad times - well they are now - at the time I could only think yippeee - how sad is that!
Good luck on your continuing teetotalness 😀👍
I was about to start thread about this 😀 I assumed the alcohol cravings would come and go for years and never subside fully, but in the last two months that’s exactly what’s happened in my case. I still have a grand total of two cans of alcohol free beer a week, sometimes three.
I’d bet all the money in the world if I was tempted to have a sneaky glass of red, that urgeometer would reset itself, and I’d be craving again. Only one way to not find out.
And to Mitmab, I went cycling and swimming yesterday, yoga this morning and hiking this afternoon. So much good stuff to do when not half cut or hungover.
so much good stuff to do when not half cut-love that line.....
Hi Mitmab,
You have had excellent advice from all above, so please take heed of them.
I quit drinking 3 1/2 years ago, and I can honestly say, it's the best thing I did. I feel so much better, and am a lot happier without this depressant I was drinking. My bloods returned to near normal after 6 months, and I believe quitting has saved my life. Even without cirrhosis, given hindsight, I would still have quit....the benefits are so great.
I'm glad you are seeking help with quitting, so please stick with it. My wife still drinks occasionally, but I find it doesn't bother me, and she says I'm much more congenial without it.
Whilst it's true that cirrhosis gives daily complications, you can still live a good, happy life with your partner.
The only way for you, is to quit now and stick to it permanently, and with that, turn your life around. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about...you definitely don't want to go there.
Please take care, and I wish you all the luck in the world.🙏🙏🙏🙏.
David
good post
Nice reply David 👍
Hi and welcome. I would just endorse all the other comments... I've been a lifelong wine drinker and done the usual thing along the way-periods of abstinence-going back to social drinking. I haven't been diagnosed with cirrhosis yet but I'm pretty sure I have all the early symptoms of it. I've been dry for just over 3 months---huge improvement in general health apart from aches and pains. It's not been fun giving up but I haven't been tempted despite being slightly poisoned by wine based sauces over Xmas. I know you think you cant live without alcohol at the moment but you can. The longer you stay away from alcohol the better you will feel. I've seen the alternative with a close friend of mine-don't go that route.
Keep posting-we're with you.
Well done 👍😀
Thanks for your kind reply, and well done for 3 months dry. It does get a lot easier when you realise the plus side of a life without booze as well as the health benefits.
The really good bit is comparing your bloods, before and after.....It gives you a boost in encouragement if you need one😊😊😊
I always look out for additives in various foodstuffs, just to be super careful. At Xmas, I just had cream on my Pud, whilst others had Brandy Sauce....the smell of it was overpowering to me, as a non drinker. 😁😁😁
I'm really glad you are already feeling the good side of abstinence....Just keep on as you are. My 3 1/2 years have just flown by, with barely a thought of my previous habit.👍👍👍
David
thanks David-good to hear about the bloods...I had my done just before Xmas and ALT was fine but it wasn't the full blood panel. I've definitely got some hepatic damage-pale stools, occasional itching on lower legs etc. Am trying to work out at present my slight dizziness on occasion-may be due to folate/B12 deficiency-my MCV was a bit high. Hope it's not HE....will know more when I get the full bloods done shortly. Cheers
Hi, I had/have all you mention plus a few others, namely peripheral neuropathy ( numb/ tingling feet and fingers), painful muscles and joints, and mild HE. It's good your getting full bloods done soon. It will definitely give you a boost, but mine took 6 months to turn to near normal. I have very low platelets, so bleed for a long time when I get scratched/ cut etc.
Take Care,
David
That's very helpful David thanks
Confused
feeling a little lost
Confused 
Anxious about symptoms
Concerned
