Hi Everyone. I'm in a bit of a panic, and I'm wondering if anyone could share some stories to help me calm down. I have liver cirrhosis and was going well with abstaining - after a few hits and misses I went roughly 4 months without a drink. My liver enzymes were going down, my skin was much clearer, and I felt so much better in general.
My mother passed away recently and I totally fell back into bad habits of drinking - this went on for about a month. I know it's no excuse that Mum passed away - in fact, she would have been so disappointed in me. But I just couldn't/wouldn't stop.
I'm so scared I've undone all the good work I've done - is it possible to "undo" any harm I've done to myself? Has anyone had a significant relapse like me but reversed any damage they had done?
I'm so ashamed. I would really appreciate any help.
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puddy68
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You were doing well with letting your liver. My advise stop drinking, healthy diet and there is good chance your liver will start to improve again. I would suggest you don't drink at all from now on. There is only so many times you can go to the well. Good luck.
Hi puddy, first off I'm so sorry to hear the sad news on your mum 😢. Sending big hugs 🫂. So you have had a slight fall off the wagon , please do not beat yourself up over this, in the circumstances I can relate so very much to this.
I was diagnosed in 2008 with alcohol related cirrhosis end stage , cut a long story short I had been doing reasonably well with remaining sober with the help if alcohol counselling and cbt therapy for my anxiety and depression.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2011, had his left lung removed in the Dec 2011 but by March 2012 it had gone to the brain I stopped work and became his ft carer ,sadly he passed away that same year.
My world fell apart, he was my best friend ( our mum died 30 yrs ago due to many health problems ) .. i went on a complete 2 yr bender ,drinking alcohol to mask the pain and loss of dad , didn't want to live , it was only the fact I was starting to fill up with fluid and other related cirrhosis conditions that I was then back to square one with detox and hoping upon all hope my liver would recover.
So yes , im still here puddy , obviously it's no green light for you to carry on drinking I just wanted to say your not the first and won't be the last.
Try take day at a time ,it's still very early days since mum passed, have you thought of any grief counselling at all ? Or a good friend to talk to ?
You will be OK, msy not seem like it but you'll get through.
Thank you for always your supportive posts, and sharing you experiences.
Just wondering were they able to manage your ascites through diuretics in the end ? Mine has been controlled for a couple of years now with 100g of spiro a day. Always worrried that the fluid could return as my consultant always says if my liver was dealing with infection or virus. Can they tweak these in anyway if it were to happen again ?
Thank you for your kind words , it's do my best to help others if they have related issues I went through
Yes after my third drain things seemed to settle down ,I was on 200mg of spiro per day for around 2 years when my consultant took me off them I had to restrict my intake of fluid to 1.5liters per day that included any water used for tea/ coffee etc..
If you were ever to get ascites again then yes they can put you back on the diuretics so no worries on that part
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't answer your questions from direct experience but I think it is unlikely you have got yourself back to square one. Even if you have, the kindest thing you can do for yourself, and to honour the memory of your Mum, is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and resolve to get back to your good habits. One thing is for sure - if you take the view that there is no point in trying to get better, and don't try, then you won't get better. Now you know how much better you felt when off the alcohol I hope that will help with the motivation to stay off it again. I wish you all the best.
Hi Puddy, I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is horrendous and everyone copes with the waves differently. Don’t feel ashamed, you’ve done really well up until this blow hit so you know you can do it again. Treat yourself kindly - big hug
Dear Puddy, Firstly so sorry you lost your mum, they leave such a big hole in our hearts and secondly please don't feel ashamed. Take a deep breath, you've reached out so you obviously want to change things. That was yesterday, start a fresh, it takes time but you know you can do it. You remember how well you felt before. If you need help (councelling) ask. Be kind to yourself. Your mum will be proud. Hugs
Hi Puddy. So sorry to hear about your loss. Be kind to yourself and I hope you can find the resolution again to stop drinking for you and your loved ones.
Sorry for your loss - anyone would struggle and most would reach out to something they trust to soothe or numb the pain. This lapse can be exactly that - you can come back from it - remember you have all that time and success of not drinking to fall back on - new foundations - take it slowly, and turn to people you can rely on (including us here - it’s what we are for!!!). And you are doing just the right thing - asking for support. Take care and carry on being strong
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