I’ve no experience personally but from what I’ve seen and read the voice of addiction is always there and in times of stress like you’ve had it seems stronger, so strong that you are willing to hurt those closest to you, who have stood by you and supported you and who need you to be there for them. Be strong and put them first. You have already proved you can do it. You can say no and if you’re still struggling to say no having considered what damage you can do to yourself and your family get some help to get through it, like your counseling. Your health will thank you and you will be proud of yourself.
There’s plenty of others on here who have been where you are who will help you too.
I don't usually post but I saw this and that no one had replied yet, so just jumping in with my thoughts.
That must have been so frightening. Being attacked out of the blue leaves you in shock. Happened to me and I still remember how it felt. You don't deserve that, it's not fair, no one has the right to attack you, even if they're just lashing out in shock themselves. It's over. But it happened, and your body and mind will still need time to get over it. I know that feeling of 'needing' to use drink to drown strong feelings but it never ever helps. I've learned that the stronger the feelings the more important it is to sit quietly without ignoring them or pouring alcohol over them in the hope they'll go away. They'll still be there when you sober up so it's best you do the sober bit now.
You already learned what you need to do to stay sober and how much better that makes your entire life for you and your family. You've done it already and you know what to do. You get to decide whether that idiot wins. You can decide to head on down that miserable rabbit hole all by yourself taking a bottle with you. Or you can decide not to go back there and do all the things that keep you sober and be happy. You sound as though you're wanting to make it just a lapse and you can do that starting right now. You win x
so sorry to hear of your current struggle - there are some excellent posts here and I don’t have much to add. Whoever savaged you clearly has problems - it was stunningly cruel of them to dump their rubbish on you - don’t accept their ‘gift’ - time has passed and you have had a reaction that most of us here find understandable.
But who is this person to undermine all your hard work of two years or more? Try to look at what you achieved. See this as a real lapse, not a relapse
Please be kind to yourself. I am sure it has increased your resolve to keep on going forward in the right way. However, this is a wake up call to the fact that anyone can be triggered into poor reactions and previous coping mechanisms. If you are able to get some specific help with managing triggers, perhaps from AA or from a counsellor or a therapist this could be very helpful to you ongoing. It is highly unlikely you will get such an incident again, but getting help around triggers could possibly also help you deal more effectively with more regular occurrences that might well set off cravings even if you do not act on them. It is not weak to acknowledge you have a weakness but it is smart to address it. And if it makes your daily life easier, too, what's not to like?
Firstly I'm so sorry to hear what you went through. As someone that has also battled with alcohol and hopefully winning (I'm still early weeks sober) what I have learnt is that if you have the resolve you will win. The fact you managed 2 years means you can do it. The fact you are worrying and came in here means you care, and that's half the battle. Don't beat yourself up about a small lapse. Your body/brain has responded to a really bad situation and has had muscle memory of how you used to cope, it's gone... This is highly stressful, what did my human used to do, trigger, drink, so it's responding literally like a reflex. And on this occasion you succumbed to it, the bit you need to work out is when this happens to replace the alcohol reflex with something else. For me it was literally booking an hour swim, once I was out of the pool, the urge has weakened, not gone, but weakened enough for my sensible brain to kick in and calm down. But I can't tell you enough, don't listen to that voice in your head saying you have failed and it's a one way street from here on in. Accept it's happened, accept it might happen again, but know that you are stronger, that you are loved by people around you and they are more important than this poison, and you are more use to the world without it.
I wish you all the very best, onwards and upwards, the past is the post, even if it was 10 mins ago.
Thank you so much for your kind and supportive comments. I re read them for encouragement. It’s a tough journey at times but worth it. Best wishes in your recovery too.
Hi there I’m not so sure these are wise words but I will say it’s words I’ve used before with a few friends I’ve helped, AA is an excellent organisation and have helped thousands of people 👍. But I have to say they are not for everyone I personally couldn’t do it there way a bit to religious, but I will reiterate they are a fantastic group. I genrally say to get and stay sober is like a journey down a road and in that road like all roads it has pot holes and you have hit one now you have a choice mend that wheel and get back on the road or give up and wobble for the rest of your life. Please don’t forget how life has been with your family, it’s wonderful without the booze and I really do know I’m now sober 21 years. Good luck I do hope you mend that wheel 💕💕👍👍👍
This sounds harsh but alcohol is always looking for an excuse. It took a girl dying in my ward next to me from alcohol to shake me to my senses. That poor girls death saved my life. It will be 4 years end of next March since I went near that disgusting poison. I would hate anyone I loved to be in that situation she was in and it could well of been me next. She had a 13 year old son. She never made it home for his birthday. Please be strong. Sorry to be blunt. I do care that’s why I’ve posted xx
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