lovely little run in the drizzle

[limberlou]

I have been a bit quiet on here lately as I was so busy decorating for my grandson’s, from Oz, visit. And then we picked them up in the 20th Oct and it’s been a struggle ever since

he is lovely , but his girlfriend, ( who invited herself !!!), is another story. It started well with her desperate to shop in Primark, AND Tesco and Asda strangely because she had seen TikTok’s of people buying stuff there!! 😳. So I trailed round these shops with her and she spent like a mad thing in Primark- don’t know what she was expecting in the supermarkets- and we had told her that’s what they were but she declared them boring!! We had arranged to go to several places that Charlie had asked to go to as he remembered them from when he was younger and wanted to show her. We went to Exeter and she moaned about the car journey, and the meal we paid for!!!, and then how far she had to walk round the shops, perked up in Primark and spent another £100 in seconds!! Then was “ bored” again and we ended up not showing her the historical bits that Charlie had wanted to and her headphones went in as soon as she was in the car. Plymouth a few days later was even worse. It was cold and she moaned despite not wearing clothes suitable for the weather, even though I’d warned her to, and her feet ached after about 20 mins and she dragged behind all the time so my grandson ended up trailing behind with her. We came home and again as we were pointing out the wild ponies on the moor , the old tin mines, headphones were in and no interest.

westward Ho and Weston super mare were better because she could just sit and feed money into machines and she actually seemed happy for 5 mins!! But she did wear a totally unsuitable long teeshirt and flipflops , even though we were all wearing hoodies and coats against the wind and rain.and then of course she was cold. She was carrying her cardigan and wouldn’t put it on because she gets too hot with all the walking we do!!

Charlie wanted to go to Ilfracombe and show her Verity, Damien Hirsts hideous statue, and the fudge shop and the quay etc and she said “ oh another boring place then”.

at this point I snapped and said “ I don’t know what the hell you were expecting but we live in a poor county , in a country that is in a recession, and lots of things closed in covid and haven’t reopened, because we had to wait for you to save up its winter now whereas Charlie could have come over in aug/ September when we have had amazing weather and more things were open” and then I went out and cried while I hung my washing up. Charlie came out to see if I was ok and said “ if her mum knew what she’d been like she’d be horrified!”

I have looked forward to him coming over for 6 years now and she has spoilt it. She speaks to him like dirt and tells him he is thick and stupid ( when she is as thick as a brick- arguing with us that humans aren’t animals or mammals 🙄) and he was destined to do really well at school until she talked him into quitting just before his exams!! He bought a new iPad over here and gave her his old one and she sulked because it only has 32gb of storage - ungrateful sod!!!

Currently they are away at Salisbury with my ex and his daughter and my other son. They went to Longleat and Festival of Lights yesterday and she moaned there was too much walking and today they are off to Stonehenge and she informed them she didn’t want to see boring crappy stones so she is staying in behind in the cottage !!!

i feel dreadful but I have so enjoyed this weekend without her here and am almost dreading their return tomorrow evening and they go back Wednesday. It’s not just me she has been rude to my son who has been driving them all over the place and paying for her meals as well as his son’s.

She’s has had free lodging, free food and still moans !!!

Sorry to moan on but it’s been such a drain that my only escape has been my running and today was no exception- it was only 30 minutes of running in the drizzle but I could feel all my tensions floating away. I saw several little bands of squirrels playing in the park on my way round and stopped to watch them and despite the rain I felt so free. I have been trying to keep up my alternate days running while they have been here as it’s just about keeping me sane. I have not managed to do my Pilates except one night when they had gone for a meal with my son, and I had my sitting room to myself so I am finding that hard too.

I keep trying to think how I can say to him “YOU are welcome anytime but please don’t bring her again” without offending him. I hate feeling like this as I had got in Lactose free milk for her and tried to cook things she’d like but she is ungrateful for everything. I’ve cooked scotch pancakes, full English with crispy bacon how she likes it , done dippy eggs and soldiers for her several times on request, got in special cereal for her and then she announces “ it’s not like proper breakfast - back home I order Hot cakes from Maccas for breakfast and they deliver it “ 🤷‍♀️

Such a shame !!! 😥

[nowster Graduate10]

What an ungrateful person! Maybe this has been an eye-opener for your grandson.

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to nowster]

he’s just said to his dad he thinks he’s going to finish with her when they get back to Oz ( doesn’t want to travel for 2 days with whe in a sulk !!😂)

[Mummycav Administrator Graduate10 in reply to limberlou]

hurray!!

[Frenc Graduate10 60minGraduate]

What an absolute madam. I am so sorry she’s spoiling what is meant to be such a nice visit. I really hope things work out 😊😔. I’m pleased though that you’ve found some solace in running - it always helps doesn’t it!

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to Frenc]

I think I’ve have gone mad if I didn’t have some sort of exercise to prevent me putting her over my knee ans spanking her!!! 😂

[Frenc Graduate10 60minGraduate in reply to limberlou]

I’ve never met her and I had the exact same thought 🤣. And breathe ….

[Dendev75 Graduate10]

Oh no, I really feel for you and your family who have tried their best to make such an ungrateful cow welcome. I really wouldn’t bother trying to cook her anything or entertain her from now until she leaves as she’s not thankful and if she moans - it’s only what she’d do anyway but at least you won’t have put yourself out. I hope your grandson sees sense and how she’s treated his family and ditches her.

I totally get how you needed those runs more than ever as it does totally release the stresses and tensions of life.

I hope the next couple of days are better.

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to Dendev75]

had a nice couple of days with my daughter while they were away

She played up while she was away with my ex and the others, moanjng she didn’t want to see a load of boring old rocks ( Stonehenge and old Sarum) so they said that’s ok you can stay behind so she did. And they went and had a nice walk but she then sulked in their room from sat lunchtime to when they left there this morning. So my grandson got to spend some quality time with his family for a day or so.

[Dendev75 Graduate10 in reply to limberlou]

Good for them, I’m glad they had some family time without her. And you got to spend some mum/daughter time together 🤗

[SueAppleRun Graduate10 60minGraduate]

Oh dear, thank goodness you are getting out for a run, it's hard when someone is as ungrateful as her, and mars your visit with your grandson, I might be tempted to send her our for breakfast

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to SueAppleRun]

I just keep thinking only another couple of days …..

[TimeInNature Graduate10]

Well that sounds tough. Take care of yourself

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to TimeInNature]

chilled and downloaded with my daughter this weekend and I can cope till she goes back 🥴

[Week7 Graduate10]

Run and breath!!The huge efforts made by you and your family have clearly not gone unnoticed by your grandson. He sounds like a lovely young man.

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to Week7]

he is and I’ve barely managed a proper conversation with him 😔

[Week7 Graduate10 in reply to limberlou]

So unfair- hope you get chance for a proper one before they go.

[dijep Graduate10]

Oh my goodness I just want to give you a medal for having to deal with such an ungrateful person.I bet you were tempted to keep running and not go home. We all know how wonderful running especially outside is so good for releasing tension, I'm so glad it helped.

I do hope that you get some quality time with your grandson before he goes home. And perhaps that her newly purchased stuff gets lost in transit on the way home 😉

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to dijep]

I hope so too hopefully she will laze in bed in the morning and I can chat with him 🤞

[Cmoi Graduate10]

I'm sorry you've been treated this way by your guest limberlou .

How old is this person? The behaviour you describe sounds very immature for an adult and reminds me of that of some of the apprentices I used to teach, mostly in their late teens or early twenties.

[limberlou Graduate10]

she is 18 on the 20th nov. Old enough to know how to behave I’d have thought

[Cmoi Graduate10 in reply to limberlou]

Sorry limberlou , missed this reply.

While her behaviour towards you was obnoxious and unacceptable, I don't think that it's as simple as saying She's old enough to know how to behave.

Many teenagers and young adults do indeed know how to behave appropriately. Others don't, because they've never been set any boundaries or had appropriate, polite behaviour modelled to them. Others don't care. Some know how to behave, but because they're shy, feel unable to meet other's expectations, or don't know how to cope with the situation in which they find themselves, they act up rather than let it show that they're struggling. So I do wonder whether that girl was just a brat, or whether there's more to it than that.

None of the above is an excuse for bad behaviour and I'm sorry it affected the visit in the way it did. I certainly wouldn't have been as kind and tolerant as you were, I'd have been asking her - privately - what the problem was and telling her "My house, my rules."

I hope you can now get back to some relaxed time for yourself, particularly running.

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to Cmoi]

I think she has been spoilt by her mum, due to her “ weak heart” ,after speaking to my grandson. However if you have a weak heart then you take your meds properly rather than not taking them if you don’t feel like it. Also the slow walking completely disappeared when it was somewhere SHE wanted to go!!!

And she was forever pinching and slapping Charlie, “ playfully” , which he doesn’t like to the point where it became annoying. And the constant snap chat and playing TikTok’s loudly just because she wasn’t interested in the conversation …

She was allowed to have lots of time off school and then left early and encourage Charlie too also even though he was predicted to have great grades ( which still upsets me but we didn’t find out until after the fact).

But I really can’t believe she thought the strops and sulking was acceptable behaviour in someone’s home no matter how she was brought up !!

[Cmoi Graduate10 in reply to limberlou]

Oh there's no doubt that her behaviour was totally unacceptable, and I personally wouldn't have put up with it.

As to whether she thought it was acceptable, I don't know. I do know that I've encountered plenty of young people who would think it fine. A 15 year old student talked back to me so I asked him if he'd speak to his mother or grandmother like that. He was genuinely shocked by my question and said yes, why not, what was the problem?

Some parents aren't bothered either. Deputy head of an agricultural school where I worked once called a teenage student's parents to complain about their son's behaviour. They told him that it was the teachers' fault for not making classes interesting, so it was entirely understandable that their son was being rude and refusing to work, and what were they supposed to do about it anyway.

I could go on, but this is supposed to be a running forum, so I won't. I'll just wish you happy running instead!

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to Cmoi]

thansk 👍

[Yesletsgo Administrator Graduate10]

What a frustrating experience. When I was much younger my Aussie cousin and friend came over to stay with us. Nothing was right, constant complaints. Mum was an amazing cook, but they didn't enjoy her food. She got so fed up that she decided to make them something simple, a stew or chili or shepherd's pie I think, rather than things from a recipe book that took her a lot of time and effort. It worked. They loved it and ate the whole lot (which she'd thought would last a day or two).

A few years later she confessed she'd made the dish with dog food.

Weird thing is I've got to know my cousin in the intervening years, she's great fun, very kind and generous and we get on like a house on fire. Maybe it was her girlfriend that was the problem. She's been with someone else who is absolutely lovely for the past 40+ years, so let's hope next time your grandson visits he'll be with someone a lot less annoying.

In the meantime keep running

[nowster Graduate10 in reply to Yesletsgo]

Did she develop a shiny coat afterwards? 🤣

[Yesletsgo Administrator Graduate10 in reply to nowster]

Yes and a waggly tail too 😂😂😂

[skysue16 Graduate10]

oh dear…… how dreadful for you and after waiting so long to see your grandson, she is extremely disrespectful and ungrateful! I am sure your grandson is embarrassed by her behaviour 😕 I hope he finishes the relationship.

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to skysue16]

I hope so too it he is such a softie and hates upsetting people . He is a high functioning autistic too which makes it really hard for him as he gets torn as to who to please. He is so clever and she is always telling him he is thick or stupid ( when he isn’t agreeing with her!) and she is really thick herself!!! She was the one who talked him into quitting school when they were forecasting him to go on and go to University and do great things. So he left school just before his exams during lockdown ( which he found hard to cope with due to the back to school, back online , back to school chopping and changing. ) so he needs to finish his traineeship( their equivalent of apprenticeships) or he has no qualifications. Such a shame !!!

[skysue16 Graduate10 in reply to limberlou]

😕 what a shame

[Roxdog Graduate10]

Oh dear, how awful when you had put so much effort in! What a shame.

[limberlou Graduate10 in reply to Roxdog]

hey Ho!! She’s gone back now and I’m getting back to normal again. Would have run today but still feeling ropey - negative covid test though so just a nasty little cold 🥴

Tomorrow is another day!!!

[Roxdog Graduate10 in reply to limberlou]

Take care 🤗