My resting heart rate used to hover around or below 60bpm; over the past few weeks it has gone up to a 72bpm average. I wasn’t sure for a while whether it was virus-related, perhaps it was... but I think anxiety has played a large part.
I have had bouts of depression over the years, but have never been particularly anxious. The tight feeling in my chest, the slight breathlessness, that extra awareness of my heart pumping, upper stomach pulsing along with it... these are strange things.
I tried to run just over a week ago. It was horrible. I couldn’t catch my breath and felt quite distressed. Over the 4K I stopped several times, even flopping down on the grass at one point. In hindsight - it was a hot day, I wasn’t feeling that great, and I ran a bit too fast for the conditions. But I arrived home feeling pretty dreadful about it.
I spent about four nights on the trot drinking too much. Then, like a rainbow, came the news that my sister-in-law, who has been hospitalised with Covid19 and sepsis, was finally feeling better. What a relief! And just like that, I could breathe and sleep little easier than before.
My little boy turned 10 years old and all the neighbours came to sing happy birthday to him. It would never have happened in peacetime and was so lovely. In the afternoon he had a Zoom meeting with two friends and they spent a wonderful hour chattering away and having staring competitions. He has been enjoying not going to school but was so full of joy at seeing his friends ‘on TV’. We went for a walk in the gardens and sat by the lake in the evening, watching the fins of the trout break the surface of the water like little sharks. Magic.
So today, finally, I felt more like myself, back in my own skin, and thought I would try a run. Usually I run along tracks and footpaths, but I’m on the edge of town and the narrow public footpaths are full of walkers at the moment; the country lanes are the quieter option! I kept it slow and though it wasn’t easy, it was ok.
The flower in the photograph is of the tree peony that has just flowered - it is the most enormous, blousy thing, much larger than my head! The roses are beginning to bud; life is springing up everywhere. That run really has cleared my lungs and mind.
Take care all x
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ktsok
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Beautiful post Kt. And outstanding pics - that one of the trees and the water would surely win an award, though the one with your son is much more deserving of one. Best wishes.
Thanks Planet. It’s so lovely in that spot you just need to point and click, really. 😊
That post just makes you read it Ktsok 👍, the lake looks beautiful, and the blousy flower looks indeed blousy. The relief that your sis-in-law is mending has lifted that weight that was pressing down upon you. And you ran 🙂
So good to see you smiling. Isn’t it lovely to see the spring coming, imagine if we had to go through all this in the doom and gloom of winter. All the flowers and blossoms just remind us that something new is on the way. We will get through this (most of us 😱) and things will get better. Hope you can relax and enjoy this special time with your boy a bit more now that your sister-in-law is out of the woods.
Oh lord, yes, imagine if it was Christmas/January 😱
Yes, we are taking advantage of our surroundings, climbing trees every day and lying in the sunshine. There are moments it feels idyllic (not the homeschooling moments though 🤪) x
Aw that is such a lovely post, brought me a big smile so thank you.
I think we underestimate what stress can do to the body and although we might not feel particularly stressed atm, our bodies clearly can have other ideas. I’m not surprised you felt as you did with the worry about your sister-in-law but that’s great news about her recovery 🙂
Those are beautiful photos of you and your son, you’re making such special memories. And the tree peony is just wonderful!
Thanks IP, you too (in your running-centric household)!
I'm so glad that hopefully things are more positive for you and the lights in your life are shining a little brighter. In terms of running, well done for getting out there and doing a little something for you. Life is precious and moments can pass by into memories. Here's hoping that your new moments make lasting positive memories.
Have you ever watched 'The Running Channel ' on YouTube? Anna on there is really inspiring and her run vlogs may help you when you're not quite yourself. Best wishes and Happy birthday to the handsome fella!
My wife brought home some whipping cream, so I made a cake too. It is so hard to resist when you know the cream will go off if you don't eat it. 😄
Lovely picture with your son. Good news about your sister-in-law.
The trick with a run when you don't feel like it at all is to go really slow, and take time to enjoy the outside. I found it very hard until the good weather arrived, and now I can't go fast because I get too hot. Doh!
The thing to remember about this isolation and social distancing lark is that we are all doing it alone : together. It's like running a Parkrun in a way, we all have our own goals, we just choose to attempt them : together. I have found it spiritually uplifting the way almost the whole country, no, the whole world, has accepted the restrictions to defeat the virus : together.🙏❤
Really lovely post ktsok. The relief is palpable 😊. Taking pleasure in our surroundings is a wonderful thing for kids and, for that matter, adults to experience. I spend plenty of time in the woods, but this year everything growing, flying, running, swimming or crawling seems to have a special quality and significance. I can’t wait for this period to be over; it is awful, but, as you have found, there are ways to make the best of it.
I know exactly what you mean about the tight chest and breathlessness. There have been a number of times where I think "Here, we go.... do I have Covid?" but the temperature remains normal and nothing else happens. Stress is such a horrible thing and in these times of uncertainty, it feels like my stress levels are skyrocketing and all my coping mechanisms are flying out the window. I am so glad to hear your sister in law is on the mend and you are feeling that weight lifting off your chest allowing you to enjoy your run. I am going to try to get out there myself today 🤞.
Happy belated birthday to your son. It is so great that he was able to connect with some friends. My son is a few years older so talks to a few of his friends every day online. It is tough for them but I am amazed at how well they are handling it all.
May your sister in law continue to improve, the tightness continue to ease and the runs continue to provide that escape that is so needed. Those are some great pics you have!
I m so pleased your sister in law is feeling better . That is lovely news . 🤗
I ve just found your post and you ve written exactly what’s happened to me . my resting heart rate was 66 and has increased to 77 this past month . 😳I have a stone where my heart should be / feels like lead . 😞Every so often I get a sharp pain 😲. However my breathing is fine 👍🤷♀️. I m assuming it’s anxiety. I don’t have the TV on only the radio , but they keep playing “information adverts “🥴. I ve been eating better this past week - less rubbish , more healthy and running every other day for about 40 mins . Thankfully I ve noticed my resting heart beat has reduced to 72 . Anyway , just to let you know , you re not alone and we have to remember it won’t be forever . Take care , stay safe and have lots of fun with your little boy .
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