Reasons vs Excuses 😓: I feel upset. The... - Bridge to 10K

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Reasons vs Excuses 😓

ktsok profile image
47 Replies

I feel upset. The graphic shows that I just ran 5k in under 32 minutes. That included two cattle grids, 3 gates and a couple of quick water swig stops. More for the stops than the water, to be honest.

I should be glad that after a tough week and a disappointment at work today; after not drinking enough water; after eating only a bowl of muesli and a banana all day and then a mini samosa in the afternoon; that I got out there and hit the road before the sun came down.

My gremlins don’t bother me so much before or even during a run; it’s afterwards they come and get me. I feel disappointed in myself. It was so hard... I had a stitch on my right side, lower intestine making itself felt on my left. I was coughing up stuff and spitting it out and wiping two salty trails of snot with my sleeve like a toddler. I felt tired and unhappy. Despite this, several drivers ogled me, one slowing right down to take a good luck. It wasn’t at all welcome or flattering 😔

I got to 5k and started walking. I didn’t have enough in the tank to keep running the final 1km, as I had intended. I had left the house in sunshine and had felt warm, but as I walked the sun dipped and it turned chilly. My left hip felt a bit tight and I was shivering by the time I got home.

The F word is frowned upon in these parts, and if I was responding to myself I wouldn’t say it was a failure at all, but that’s what my gremlins are saying. It isn’t about the running - it’s about the other things in my life. It is hard to run lightly and easily when you are carrying worries.

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ktsok
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47 Replies
AlMorr profile image
AlMorrAmbassadorGraduate10

Nothing to be disappointed with 🏃 running a 5K in 32 minutes especially with all those obsticals . Next time choose a route that Is free of obsticals and I am sure you will be able to run a sub 30 minute 5k. 😊 🏃

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toAlMorr

Thanks Al. I wasn’t aiming for a sub 30 today, just a relaxing run! Ended up with neither one nor t’other. But got out there, so that’ll do 🙃

GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJoGraduate10

Bless you 💛

Not every run is a great run. And not every run can help us put the other things in our lives to rights.

You ran a good run!! No one can say otherwise.

Try not to set the bar so high for each run that if you don't reach it you've not succeeded. It's easily done I know. It's so easy to get caught up in the numbers, distance and pace but the best runs, the most therapeutic runs I find are those slower, meandering runs, taking in the views, maybe some pics.

You wouldn't be so hard on a good friend would you? So, please ease up on yourself. You did great, you're doing great 👍😉😁

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toGoGo_JoJo

Thanks JoJo. I went and had a cry and feel better for it. I wasn’t looking at pace at all today, just wanted to run and clear my head, but I think it’s a bit too crowded today 🙃

Jell6 profile image
Jell6Graduate10

It sounds as if you are a bit unwell, coughing and "snotting" during a run doesn't suggest to me that you are 100%, and I am qualified to make that comment !

You still got out and ran 5k, that sounds like a win to me.😶

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toJell6

Thanks Jell 🙃

over61andstilltrying profile image
over61andstilltryingGraduate10

I say ,'Wow!" So many achievements. Hard times at work, a tough week and carrying worries, but you ran 5k. Well done you! I read a few of your other posts and found you have run a park run with your son. Superb, great and wonderful! Heart rate down too, feeling slimmer and fitter. So many positives, so well done to you.

I wonder whether you ensure that 80% of your running is at easy pace. I hope you are not going for records each time you run. I would imagine that is a sure way to exhaustion and probably a fun destroyer. I like to go for whatever scores a high grin factor. For me that will be enjoying the scenery and exploring new routes, preferably away from traffic and in the countryside. I've started to listen to podcasts of Desert Island Discs sometimes too, so that gives me some uninterrupted listening, another plus.

I also wonder what your main reason for running is? Mine is really to be fitter and healthier. Please do be nice to yourself, especially after a tough week. Feeling shivery after a run, does that mean you are going down with something? You are doing really well while hard situations are around you. I do hope that your hip is feeling better and that you have warmed up.

I also hope that you have some happy, enjoyable runs soon as well. 🏃‍♀️😊

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toover61andstilltrying

Thanks 61. Yes, lots of positives. Just wish I was feeling them.

I wasn’t trying to break any records. I had a route in mind, a circuit I haven’t done before and my aim was to just jog around feeling comfortable. I listened to a Headspace podcast and wanted to get into a meditative state I guess, leave the week behind. I didn’t check pace or anything until past the 4k mark.

I think the problem was with my headspace... too much going on for the running to work it’s magic 🙂

over61andstilltrying profile image
over61andstilltryingGraduate10 in reply toktsok

Hi again, I do hope that you are feeling a bit better now. I see from your reply to lexi that you are planning changes too. I hope they work well. I don't know Headspace, although I think I have heard it mentioned before. We do glean so many ideas from these forums don't we? Here's to a enjoyable run very soon. 🏃‍♀️😊

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toover61andstilltrying

Hi there! Feeling a bit brighter today. Yes, I need to make some changes. I was made redundant a year ago from a job I loved and my new job isn’t working out as I had thought. So it’s back to the drawing board.

I love Desert Island Discs. I’ll have to look into some Radio 4 podcasts, thanks for the suggestion 🙂

Beachcomber66 profile image
Beachcomber66Graduate10 in reply toktsok

Not really about reasons v excuses ktsok, but rather causes v symptoms? The run (which seems pretty good to me.....faster than any 5k I have done so far) is definitely symptomatic of your state of health and feelings about work. I am lucky in that whilst I can get a bit frustrated about a "bad" run, I quickly realise that I feel far better after any run than I did before I set off ....unless I am dragging one or both legs with an injury of course. I see it as an escape into my own world ...maybe that is why I favour the longer slow runs...always ending with a flat white! I have given up any idea of a really good 5k time compensating for being stressed out about other issues..those stresses definitely affect running performance. So I choose to jog along for as far as I can manage and just enjoy the peace it brings. Hope other things improve soon and that a new PB follows as confirmation 😊..until then don't push yourself so hard?

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toBeachcomber66

Hi beachcomber. I wasn’t trying to push times, was trying to push the other stuff away... but didn’t succeed. I have had a handful of wonderful slow longer runs, but I was in a peaceful frame of mind beforehand and it all felt relaxed and easy. I was carrying a lot of tension and didn’t manage to let it go.

The sun is shining today and I’m sitting in the sunshine. I have a plan and all is well 🙂

Beachcomber66 profile image
Beachcomber66Graduate10 in reply toktsok

Lovely to hear! 😊

over61andstilltrying profile image
over61andstilltryingGraduate10 in reply toktsok

Pleased to hear that you are already feeling brighter. Redunancy from a job you loved sounds horrid. I see from your reply to Beachcomber that you have a plan. Sounding good 😊

Couchpotato2 profile image
Couchpotato2

What are you disappointed about? You’ve run 5km and pretty fast as well. Those post run gremlins are very annoying! Have a 🍷and think about all the good things in your run and next run will be great, you know it will 😊 (also I wish I could achieve what you just have!)

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toCouchpotato2

Thanks CP.

🥃 definitely helped tonight 🙂

Couchpotato2 profile image
Couchpotato2 in reply toktsok

Good! I’ve not quite sussed out the post run gremlins, not sure how or why they operate...

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toCouchpotato2

Just another running lesson! They keep on coming...

Bridget007 profile image
Bridget007

Wow 😮 just wow 😯 you are soooo speedy i did 5k too today and I’m 7 minutes behind you without cattle grids and gates! I also have a constant runny nose when it’s a bit chilly 🥶 That is not nice having drivers slowing down to ogle it’s a bit creepy! You go girl it’s hard when you have other worries but you crush those gremlins they will not win!!

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toBridget007

It is creepy. I’d normally shrug it off but when you are tired and feeling vulnerable it gets to you more. There was one guy in a van on a stretch of country lane with no one in sight, and it’s kind of mind boggling that a human being wouldn’t realise crawling past staring at a woman like she is some sort of exhibit isn’t nice.

Bridget007 profile image
Bridget007 in reply toktsok

I think my legs would have turned to jelly! Well done for still being able to run!

CatMo13 profile image
CatMo13 in reply toktsok

That’s not nice at all. Well done though, I know you weren’t happy with it but sounds like you made up for it today at park run! 👍🏻👍🏻🙌

Flyingred profile image
FlyingredGraduate10

Sometimes when we're having a bad day that can be enough justification for not running. But you got out there which is better than staying on the couch. I find 30 minutes of being with my thoughts helps (although not necessarily at the time). Think of today's run as an investment – keep investing and you'll enjoy the payback of better health and resilience.

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toFlyingred

Thanks Red. Yes, I often see things like this as ‘banking’ stamina/resilience/xyz. Just a bad day I’m afraid and running bore the brunt of it!

lexi6 profile image
lexi6Graduate10

Sometimes some runs are best forgotten, but in your case no way ktsok you ran 5km and in a blimmin fast time, feeling like c—p. I’d say that is a win. Hope those worries disappear for you soon 🙂

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply tolexi6

Thanks lexi6 🙏

Yep, planning changes...

E27M14 profile image
E27M14Graduate10

Don’t be daft. You are doing brilliantly. It’s really not long since we graduated and you are running 5k in 32 mins. Be proud.

I, on the other hand, have been sitting in a beach making excuses about how it’s too hot to run! On our way home today.... planning to run Sunday and I think it’s going to hurt!

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toE27M14

E! Hey hon. No excuses necessary - you are on holiday, just enjoy. Sitting on a beach in the heat sounds absolutely blissful.

You’ll probably feel great Sunday after all the rest 🙂

Re the post; yes, I should be pleased, that’s the point really. But I think I was a bit like Atlas, carrying the world on my shoulders on that run. I was hoping it would be cathartic but I just felt more gnarled up by the end of it. Not the running’s fault.

Job hunting next week 😐

Suse70 profile image
Suse70

You ran despite all the potential reasons not to & did a great time. If it is any consolation it took me nearly an hour to run 7k last week! I am such a wimp I've barely been outside to run all winter, using the treadmill instead. You were clearly feeling below par. It is frustrating though when a tough week at work infiltrates the rest of your life & you can't just shake it off. Having the same, I feel your pain. But you did great.👍

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toSuse70

Thanks Suse. Yesterday clarified the fact I need to be job hunting, so that was helpful 🙂

I think to run 7k on a treadmill requires a certain mental toughness! I like to look around and take in the views, feel the sun, rain, breeze, etc.

Roll on Springtime!

Suse70 profile image
Suse70 in reply toktsok

Oh absolutely, it is so much better to get out there and take in the beauty of nature. It's one of the reasons running is so much better than some other forms of exercise. It is funny you should mention job hunting as I have also had a pretty bad week at work and have resolved to do the same. We deserve better! Good luck with your search. It definitely helps when you have decided to take control and decide you don't need to put up with it! I wish you the very best. Look forward to hearing how you get on.😁

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toSuse70

Likewise. Happy hunting! End of financial year is in sight so there may be opportunities around the corner...

linda9389 profile image
linda9389Graduate10

Ahh. Here's a virtual hug for you. I've felt just like that a couple of times too. It's not nice, and despite knowing it's no fail, that disappointed feeling is impossible to shake. Odds are the next run will be great. I do hope so. I also hope some of your other issues sre resolved soon and worries are lifted. Find some time to be nice to yourself.

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply tolinda9389

Thanks Linda. Life kind of swamped the running yesterday. I guess that does happen sometimes. I suppose I was hoping running would clear my head and lift some of the worries, but they seemed to get heavier the more I ran. I know what I need to do now though, so that’s something 🙃

theoldfellow profile image
theoldfellow

Sometimes there is nothing to say to someone going through a hard time other than that we are here for you. I think you know that we are.

The running looks really good to me too.

Prayers for your inner peace.

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply totheoldfellow

Thanks oldfellow. Yesterday clarified the need to take action and make some changes, so that’s good. 🙂

Runsome profile image
RunsomeGraduate10

Hi Ktsok that’s a great run you were out there doing it where others weren’t and a 32 5k with obstacles is good. It’s the lows that make the highs so great💪 you are not alone we all have days where we’re not feeling it and feel we didn’t get the best from our run or what we thought would be easier was tougher than expected. You wait and see the next run will fine. 👍😊

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toRunsome

Thanks Runsome, I’m sure you are right 🙂

Runningfit profile image
RunningfitGraduate10

What if...You ran the route without timing it? And just ran ?

You would get the same time

Still have 5 km

Get the benefits

I haven't reached 32 mins 5k yet but looking at parkrun the majority are up to 35 mins after tgat it spreads out with the stragglers (me).

You did a good run.

I dare you to go run the route without timing it...just do it because.

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply toRunningfit

Yes, it’s a good idea. Not sure I’m ready to release my comfort blankie yet (stats)!

The disappointment wasn’t to do with time. It was more to do with the fact running didn’t help my mindset yesterday. I think I could have gone out without a watch and still felt down at the end. But it’s a bit much to expect that a 30 minute run will make all the worries disappear! Not every time, anyway 🙂

grumpyoldgirl profile image
grumpyoldgirl

Kt, just pack those gremlins up and send them round to me, I want to have a little word with them! Of course it's not about the run, which was great, even without the cattle grids, dehydration, etc. When we rely on our runs to make us feel better and escape our worries, and then they follow us around, and don't allow us our little escape, it's like a double hit. I suspect that creepy van man had a lot to do with it, because it broke into your running bubble and you had to think about where you were and what was going on. I'm so sorry that happened to you, thankfully most people are much nicer than that!

But, it sounds like you've made some decisions now. Once you've got a plan of action sorted in your head, you can go out and enjoy your runs again. I bet the next one will be a much better experience. (no emoji on laptop, so sending ((hug)) - oh, and virtual flowers *** )

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply togrumpyoldgirl

Ahh thank you (smile). I can feel the gremlins backing off already, you have worried them with the threat of a ‘little word’!

Yes, creepy van guy wasn’t great. I sing a bit and there is this Cowboy Junkies song which goes: “Here comes that feeling which I’d forgotten; how strange the streets feel when you’re alone on them; each pair of eyes just filled with suggestion; so I lower my head, make a beeline for home, seething inside.” It was a bit like that. I was cross that I felt I needed to think about personal safety along with everything else.

Thanks for the hug 🤗 x

grumpyoldgirl profile image
grumpyoldgirl

You are very welcome, especially now I know you're a singer! I love singing too, but in choirs, it's a bit like this place. Makes you feel good, and lots of nice people doing it too ☺️

ktsok profile image
ktsok in reply togrumpyoldgirl

I do like a choir. Singing out loud and proud is a great feeling! What sort of music do you sing?

These days I strum on the guitar and sing a few Stevie Nicks, Joni Mitchell numbers. Lovely stuff 🙂

grumpyoldgirl profile image
grumpyoldgirl

Well since you asked so nicely, I'm in two choirs. One is anything from classical to jazz and musicals, sight-reading required. The other is a pop choir, learn by repeating, great fun.

grumpyoldgirl profile image
grumpyoldgirl in reply togrumpyoldgirl

I like to warble old American songbook stuff to myself, Gershwin, Cole porter, that sorry of thing. Love a bit of Joni Mitchell 😊

johnm12 profile image
johnm12Graduate10

I guess sometimes the bad things add up and somehow take over. Sounds like you are in a better place now which is good. I usually don't run with headphones in these days. Just listening to the sounds around and of your own footfall can be very relaxing.

Saddened to hear of the behaviour of some of those drivers. I bet they don't have the intelligence to think how their partners ( if any) would feel. I could use a rude word to describe them but instead I'll leave you with a puzzle. It rhymes with something that stops boats drifting away. Take care

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