....those who know me from C25K will know that I struggle with the pesky running demons. Having entered a 10k I have two months to get myself to the point where I feel I can run most - but preferably all - if it and I know this should be achievable. The demons, on the other hand, don't agree.
After graduating from C25K I cruised for a while and then hit an extremely challenging few months - chest infection, dad in hospital for 18 weeks and an injury. I was still running, but not progressing. About six or so weeks ago I decided to start focusing on my running again. Went back to running club - which I LOVE and which is where I do my best running - back to Parkrun and, now that the clocks have changed, I can run in the evenings again. I had a monumentally good run at running club about two weeks ago but since then...............
Last night I decided that, whatever the weather, I would do 5k this morning and that I was going to push myself to run the entire thing. I should point out that I can run 5k without too many problems - but not THIS 5k. THIS 5k has a horrible hill at the start (which I can manage because my legs are still fresh), a nasty, short, sharp hill which I've never conquered and then my nemesis, a very long, very steep hill once I'm on the home strait - I have never run this hill and most people struggle to walk it!
First hill accomplished without too many problems, then a little stretch downhill before the short sharp hill. I know that I can do this hill - although I've never managed it before, I've done similar with running club. I did everything you're supposed to do - head up, shoulders down and relaxed, chest open, little steps and arms pumping. Except that I was about three quarters of the way up and my demons told me to stop - and I did. I could have done it, I know I could.
The next mile or so is perfectly flat - but I was so upset and demotivated that I ended up walking most of it and feeling even more wretched.
Then comes the downhill that precedes the b*****d long, steep hill and I found a nice little rhythm again. I never intended or anticipated to get up that long steep hill, just thought I'd get to the point about halfway up that I normally make myself get to before I walk. Then the weird thing happened. I kept going. I got to the top! It was slow, it wasn't pretty and it was painful - but I just kept my eyes on the signpost at the top and kept going. The demons were perfectly silent. I allowed myself a celebratory 30 seconds of walking before running the rest of the way home.
It was a HORRIBLE run but all my recent runs have been horrible. I'm desperate to push my running on but I'm struggling - struggling with gremlins, self-doubt and legs that just feel bleugh.
A year ago I was just about to start C25K having never run in my adult life. Beyond all my own expectations I managed to do that and graduated. I know I that I can get to 10k - I just don't know how. I decided to share this with all you amazing runners as I'm sure I'm not the first to feel like this and maybe, just maybe, you can share the secret to getting through this.
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RebeccaSK
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So!!! You did it, you are amazing, you ran up that massive horrible long hill you have never run up before. And you ran up all of it!!!
Before you have only ever got half way up but today you did the whole thing with no gremlins. Therefore you are amazing, not least because you can and now you *know* you can!!
Next time you do this run you know you can run up the first one (which you did today), run up the middle one (cos you have before) and now you can do the last one (cos you did today). The reward is the enjoyment of the flat / down hill bits. So you can smash it!
I wonder if the reason you can hear the gremlins is because your music is not up loud enough? Or isn't quite what you need for running? Try finding tuuuuuuuunes that make you want to get out there and bop along regardless of the hills. We all know you can do this thing, you're amazing! You will smash 10k!!
You're totally right - once I've beaten a hill once I can pretty much always conquer it thereafter and I'm excited to get all the way up that long steep one again! Unfortunately, however, where I live is so hilly that I don't really get to enjoy the downhill because it's simply a precursor to another uphill but I value hills. I find running on the flat for a long time boring.
I do listen to music when I run but the problem is that I can't have it as loud as I like. I live in the country and run mostly on lanes without pavements so I have to be aware of approaching cars. At my parkrun too we're only allowed music in one ear because the paths are narrow and at 4.5 laps, the slow runners like me will be lapped multiple times by pretty much the entire field! There is no doubt, however, that music can really drive you on.
Thank you for the support and encouragement - when I find myself doubting, I always come to this forum - you all give me a gentle but much needed kick up the backside along with a hug and the impetus I need to keep on keeping on!
Sympathies. It's horrible when you feel horrible, even though you know you've done well. Sooo unfair! (ie, we are unfair to ourselves). I think it's hard to know that we don't seem to progress in a straight line. Sigh!!! At park run on Saturday, I was brilliant on hills (ie, kept running, while others walked); this is because I run on the downs whenever I run from home and they are always going up (or down). Unfortunately, I don't run uphill any faster than others walk! So, limited satisfaction. However, I'm sort of convinced that pushing myself, as you seem to do, is a bit counter productive (for me, I mean). I respond better to coaxing - and a bit of mystery... ie, I toddle off for what seem rather measly little runs for a while and then, a few weeks on, pull something out of the bag which makes me smile like an eejit! (I'm talking a 5k here - nothing more and nothing fancy time wise, just a good feeling.)
Soo - channelling Kipling here - can you walk uphill and still feel good? And bear not to know whether you'll walk or run? And not flog yourself like a tired pit pony??? But just nod and say, 'Today, I'm like this, and it's fine.'
Counsel of perfection, I know, for the gremlin-custodian. Good luck with the gremlin-taming, Rebecca - it sounds like the hardest part of the job.
Hey you... you have already cracked the secret code... you did it... despite all; illness, upset, hills and injury.
You still ran... you still finished... and that is the secret. In the face of all odds you are a runner and nobody or noting can change that... ever.
It was a horrid run... but for every horrid run, there will be great runs... maybe not currently, but there will... runs where you could go on for ever, and you feel invincible.
I ran yesterday.. the furthest distance since climbing off the IC...( check my Dr Livingstone post out on C25K).... it was slow, it was sludgy and soggy...but it was amazing
You will make 10k... I used, initially before Ju's plan a Women's Running one...but you could do her plan.... I think Bluebirdrunner has the link to the week's runs?
You can do this...have no doubt and we will be right here to support you xxx
Do you have the option at your running club to meet up with others on non run club days? I know with my club I could go out most days with others if I wanted to. Some people run ONLY with others and prefer that and run the better for it. Perhaps you're one of them?
I should probably mention that you are one of my heroes on this forum, you have overcome and overcome and overcome..... I know that it seems obvious but when faced by a challenge (weather, illness, terrain) then SLOW DOWN. It always works for me. Good luck, I am sure you can do this x
Oh wow - what do I say to that? I don't feel like a hero - I feel like an inconsistent runner who is her own worst enemy!!! However, I will gladly accept your advice and go even slower than I already do! Thank you for the lovely words x
Yes you can.... you run when the plan says you should. You do it without allowing internal chat. And can I suggest your next run is somewhere easy so that you get a sense of achievement. You know it works and that it will make you feel good too.
Do you use your stride length changes as "gears"? If you keep the same cadence/stride rate but shorten your stride length sufficiently that the effort is the same as running on the flat, then although you'll be making glacial progress pace-wise you won't ramp-up your heartrate too much. Approach may not work on very steep slopes though (1:5/6/7).
I've been running a circuit that has 2 steep ramps every 500m (1:7/8 gradient and 40m long to pass under and over a main road (bridge and underpass). It kicks a hole in my overall pace figure but I don't eleviate my heartrate or fatigue my legs too but by adopting the super short stride length).
I have a super short stride length anyway because of the problems I get from over striding but I will make a conscious effort to notice what I do. I don't care how slow I am - for me, it's just enough of an achievement to know that I can do it!
I think you're right about it not working on very steep slopes - we have a short but extremely steep bit on my parkrun and no matter what I try, I can't ever run up it the 4 times that my parkrun requires - and I'm not alone in that. A lot of the stronger runners find it tough too, although not the super fit ones!
It may seem like a bad run Rebecca, but it seems more like a breakthrough run. You got all the way up that massive hill. From now on you know you’ve cracked that as you say. The fact that you live in a place with so many hills is challenging for training, but it also gives you a great advantage for any out of town flat races you may enter. 😀! With all that hill training you will be easily handle the flats. You are doing amazing and will be great on your 10k journey.
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