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🎶We Don't Need This Fascist Gremlin🎶 (apologies to Heaven 17 🙇🏽‍♀️ ;-) )

This morning dawned and having had two rest days, today was another day for distance.

Everything started well, and I got kitted up and warmed up without any fuss and was ready to hit the road. A new route, and my walk took me down a rather steep hill – made a quick mental note to make sure I completed my run before tackling the hill on the way back, as what goes down must surely come up!

Soon I was running along the cycle track towards Harpenden and enjoying the autumn blaze of colour around me. I was settled into a good rhythm with my Retro Runners Playlist singing away in my ear (thanks Jancanrun &co); really enjoying myself, listening to the likes of Squeeze, Simple Minds, Spandau Ballet and the Eurythmics - a great 1980s vibe which kept me running and running. After 7.5km at a reasonable pace I turned round to return home and that was when it happened. I hit a wall. Or maybe the bloomin’ Gremlin stuck the wall right in my path. It all seemed like too much effort. And then there it was, biting at my ankles and telling me to stop. It even pulled my earphone out, so I no longer had any music to distract me.

Where do they come from? I’d like to know. I’d been doing fine. Had it just crept up on me? Did it know my planned route and stake it out in advance? Lying silently in wait to ambush me? Was it stalking me, unseen, like a trained spy? And why did every other runner I passed seemed to be running gremlin-free.

I was 8.5km from home as I had walked a km for my warm up, and I really didn’t want to walk all that way back. Maybe I could get a taxi… was a 'kindly' suggestion from my nemesis. But with a distinct lack of cash, and the look of a woman possessed, I thought it was unlikely that any one would want me in their taxicab.

I was going to have to crack this. I put my earphone back in and hoped a track would come on soon that might help me fight off the ‘orrible little critter. After another 5 or 6 minutes of torturously labored running (well it was probably more the speed of walking) Heaven 17 came to my rescue with a 1980s number, Fascist Groove Thang. The pace was upbeat and the words just formed in my head…


Have you heard it on the news,

About this running gremlin?

Evil bug with nasty views

Spreading all across the track.

Don’t stop running, just you go

Unlock those tired muscles.

Brothers, sisters, forum friends

I don’t need this running gremlin.

Brothers, sisters, I don’t need this fascist gremlin.


Forum allies lend a hand

Decrease their population.

Grab that gremlin by the throat

And throw it in the ocean.

You run with me, you make my day

I’ll cruise along the pathway.

My second wind helps me advance.

We shook that noxious gremlin.

Brothers, sisters, I don’t need this fascist gremlin.


And so I made it back to the bottom of the hill with a little left in the tank, ready for the cool down walk home. That hill was a killer, and the energy I had had left in the tank soon ran out. It was a slow walk home but I had managed to run 15.25km, and with the additional time spent walking up and down the hill I actually covered 17.55km.

11 Replies

Haha! Do you work for a lyric company? You should 🙂

Fab sounding run and fab distance there! Well done.


No, I just get thinking about the lyrics while I'm running and they play around in my head. It helps me keep going when I'm flagging for some reason.

I do however do a lot of singing as I'm in a semi-professional choir based at The Barbican in London. But most of that is classical stuff. 😀


Well done on all counts,the slaying of the gremlins ,the brilliant distance and those newly adapted lyrics! And a killer hill to finish too!😊


One of my friends (who is struggling to get passed 90 minute run 90 minute walk as he is recovering from rupture quads) is living his running life vicariously through me and has decided "we" need to train for a half marathon. I won't tell you what I told him as it would get censored. 😂


You could definitely do that! Go for it!😊


I'm seeing Heaven 17 in Norwich next month, perhaps I should print your lyrics for them to try!!

Well done on bursting through that wall and sticking one to the gremlins ;0) Fantastic distance too!

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OMG you're going to see Heaven 17! I didn't realise they were still touring. I loved them back in the 80s and secretly wanted to be their backing singer, or to be the female vocalist on Temptation. 😂

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They played here last year too, they haven't lost it! Support this year is from Blancmange (Living on the ceiling etc.) so it's a proper 80s nostalgia fest!!


Now I need to include some Blancmange in my Running Playlist. I've got them on vinyl. How did I forget..? Jancanrun - Blancmange... :-)


Ha, when I saw 'today was another day for distance' Raz, I thought maybe 10k..12k😆...

Huge kudos to you..after feeling all in at around 7.5k to dig in and do the return run shows great gumption...over 15k!! pheweeey😊...

*It was you doing the running as well the music was just along for the ride😉xxx


Thank you Bluebirdrunner , to be honest I am actually surprising myself. I never saw myself as a runner, and then when I completed C25K I was just happy running 5K three times a week and had no intention of running any further. I'm not entirely sure what has happened to me... 😂

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