Unsure of abortion decision - British Pregnancy...

British Pregnancy Advisory Service

5,209 members1,966 posts

Unsure of abortion decision

Happyrunningfeet profile image

Having found out before xmas that i was pregnant with my 3rd child. I felt excited but confused. I spoke to my partner who sed about having an abortion as he works away and cant give me the support i need. I have already had 1 abortion 11yrs ago and it haunts me now. It ruined my relationship as i resented my decision and my (ex) partner at the time. It also affected my feelings towards my eldest who was 6mths old and i lost the attachment and bond i had with her. Now i fear the same happening again. I feel pressurised into having an abortion. He said he will support me through it. But he jas no idea what it feels like he can never begin to imagine what happens. The appointment is booked for in 3weeks but i dont think i can go through with it. But i know if i dont i will end up a single mum of 3 and at times find it difficult to cope with my eldest who is 12. Please help.

Written by
Happyrunningfeet profile image
Happyrunningfeet
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
12 Replies
valuablepeople profile image
valuablepeople

I know how it is when you said it hunted you down. I can't make decisions for you and just want to let you know you are not alone.

Bpas_1968 profile image
Bpas_1968Partner

Hi There,

Sorry you are such a tough situation. Ultimately it has to be your decision what happens, as only you can decide what happens to your body. Is there anyone who you can talk to who is neutral? Or you could write a pro's and con's list before your appt, as sometimes writing it down can clarify how you feel. It is tougb, but you could also ask your GP for some support. I hope you reach the decision that's right for you and your family.

Best Wishes

Jules

Happyrunningfeet profile image
Happyrunningfeet

Thank you valuablepeople and jules_bpas for ur replies it's such a big decision.

Happyrunningfeet profile image
Happyrunningfeet

I have decided that I am going to keep baby 3. I just need to speak to my partner. I have tried to speak to him on several occasions to let him know I was unsure of the decision and always met with the phrase we will talk about it the weekend when I'm there. 2 weekends have come and gone and still not been able to talk to him about it. I have a feeling that I am making the right decision for me and that he won't be around to support me once he knows of that decision. Although I have no concerns about raising a child as a single parent I did it with baby2.

Happyrunningfeet profile image
Happyrunningfeet

Looks like everything will work out. Had a good chat and cry (meltdown) and explained that I can't go through with it and he's going to stand by me and support me with the baby. So happy right now. :)

ChrisWest1983 profile image
ChrisWest1983 in reply toHappyrunningfeet

I am so happy for you!

So glad you took time to think about it and the courage to talk about it!

Wishing you all best!x

Happyrunningfeet profile image
Happyrunningfeet in reply toChrisWest1983

Thank you ChrisWest. It wasnt easy but it will all be worth while. Time to show the excitement that I was holding back and enjoy a special moment. X

ChrisWest1983 profile image
ChrisWest1983 in reply toHappyrunningfeet

Thanks for keeping us up to date! Even if I don't know you- after reading posts I always think of people who wrote and hope that best possible thing happened to them! So I was soooooo glad to hear that things are looking good for you!!!

Big hug,x

Happyrunningfeet profile image
Happyrunningfeet

Hi guys a quick update i had a baby boy who is now 7mth old.. me and the other half split after baby was born and i was diagnosed with PND. Hope you are all well

sanchia46 profile image
sanchia46 in reply toHappyrunningfeet

Will you go to see your doctor about the PND?

Happyrunningfeet profile image
Happyrunningfeet in reply tosanchia46

Yes i did hence the diagnosis. Currently on treatment and feeling alot better

sanchia46 profile image
sanchia46 in reply toHappyrunningfeet

That’s great to hear

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Abortion

I’m having abortion next week I’m 6 weeks want to know how private are my records at abortion...
Shellyhex23 profile image

what should i do

Hi , im not usually one to write in websites for support but i have no one to talk to so i decided...
christen33 profile image

Abortion concerns

Hi I am booked in for an abortion next week and am starting to feel a little anxious about it and...
ChazzyK profile image

Failed medical abortion 😔

It's been a roller coaster of emotions,due to medical reasons I had decided on an abortion,I had a...
Chelle007 profile image

Failed abortion?

Hi I've just found out that I'm pregnant & have booked an abortion however I'm worried that it will...
Lover94 profile image

Moderation team

Bpas_1968 profile image
Bpas_1968Partner

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.