Help me please :(

I have just found out I'm 4-5 weeks pregnant after falling on the pill , problem is I have just had a baby 5 months ago and ready have two older boys 3&5 , I'm only 22!

I'm just so confused and would love someone to speak to or just some friendly advice .

I'm thinking of having an abortion due to lack of support and being so frightened , I am with my parter and he's amazing but problem is when my youngest was 6 weeks old I found out he cheated on me and it crippled me , I'm so scared this will happen again , I can't get over this and want to leave him but he uses my mental health against me and says he will take my youngest away which backs me into a corner , he would never hit me but I'm just so unhappy ! My mam is an alcoholic and I can barely rely on her and my dad left when I was younger , I'm currently working to make ends meet and can't afford to leave to have another baby and I also don't want to let down my colleagues as we are so short staffed , I just feel so low and I don't know what to do , I know I can't cope with another baby and know I need to do something about it but I'm frightened of having the abortion , can someone please talk me through ? I just need a friendly chat , thankyou

6 Replies

  • Please note I don't have any friends to speak to either , so anything would be great x

  • Add this page on fb its called mini royals mamas group

  • Hi Hun, I really am sorry you feel like this and that your situation feels so chaotic. I can't honestly say I entirely understand as I'm not in your shoes but you should Deffo go to your GP and talk to them about what you're feeling. Word of advice aswell, mo matter how good he is with the kids it doesn't mean he should ever use your mental health against you and what he's doing is emotional abuse. Please speak to ale,one professional x

  • Hi thanks for replying , I have post natal depression and was medicated but due to this pregnancy it isn't safe to continue taking the medication if I continue with the pregnancy I'm in between a rock and a hard place xx

  • Hi hun, I'm so sad to hear you are going through this. I had my eldest when I was really young (15) and suffered from PND afterwards. My partner was mentally abusive and would use my illness against me and would tell me that I'd have my baby taken if I told people how I was feeling, this led to a suicide attempt but no further treatment, I eventually went on tablets but because the mental abuse continued I couldn't get ahold on it and sunk even lower feeling like a worthless mother and everyone could look after my boy better than I ever could. I was manipulated into a corner and custody ended up being awarded to him when we split. I know it probably seems that I'm just talking about myself but wanted to give you my background and experience. Many women have PND and a lot of people have clinical depression but still have their kids. Try not to let him drive you into a hole hun, speak to your gp about everything because they are there to help. They can discuss your medication and pregnancy if you wish to continue with it, as well as what's going on with your partner. At the end of the day you need to do what's right for you and your health because YOU matter. Please remember that PND does not mean losing your kids! Try having a frank discussion with your partner about what has been said if you want to continue the relationship and even if you don't it might be helpful to have things out in the open. You are trying to get better and for that I applaud you, you are not alone and if you want to private message me on here then feel free. Much love to you xxxxxx

  • Hi Kt,

    I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time, and especially that you don't feel you have anyone you can talk to in real life. Do you have a good relationship with your GP? It might be worth speaking with them, as they can talk to you about your medication if you do decide to continue with the pregnancy but also your options if you decide not to. In terms of having an abortion, we have lots of information about the procedure on our website which might help.

    The main thing to know is you are not alone. There is help and support out there regardless which path you want to go down.

    Take care x

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