Booked for a medical abortion on Thursday & the second part on Saturday. I am due to go on holiday on Monday (UK) will I be ok to go?

[Anon4]

I am very scared, plus we have planned this trip since December. I really can't let people down. I go about 9.30 in the morning, I've read so many horror stories and panicked myself now I think. I know I shouldn't have done that but I wanted to know what to expect. I feel heartless thinking of a holiday but we have spent so much money so can't really back out now. Should I delay the abortion (which I really don't want to do as getting time off work is a nightmare). ?

[Bpas_1968 Partner]

Hi there

I hope you're okay and not too panicked. By the Monday the cramps and bleeding should have settled. As long as you follow all the aftercare advice you should be ok. Reading about abortion on forums is never a good idea as mostly people will only post bad experiences, please be led by your providers nurses and what they tell you to expect.

We have this useful info bpas.org/abortion-care/what...

Try not to worry, get yourself pain relief ready (Ibruprofen & Paracetamol), the provider should give you something stronger to take home (if you have no allergies), a hot water bottle or heat pack for your tummy, and someone to run around after you on Saturday. You will also be given an aftercare number if you do have concerns whilst you are away.

I hope this helps

Best wishes

Katherine

[Anon4 in reply to Bpas_1968]

Hi Katherine, thank you so much for your reply. I'm just a bit teary and scared of the unknown I think. I have problems with my stomach anyway so hopefully the pain will be like that or maybe worse :/ I still haven't told anyone so I will just have to deal with it on the Saturday. I will try and sleep if I can. I know i shouldn't read stuff on the internet but I just wanted to know if I would be ok to travel and then looked at other stuff & started to worry myself. But thank you I feel a bit better now.

[Asherzly92]

Hi Hun, I had a medical abortion about two months ago, the 1st pill doesn't really do anything, the next day it just felt like I had a sickness bug which the nurse said was fine when I arrived at the clinic for the second pill. Within a couple of hours I had strong but bareable stomach pains but this was eased with pain killers and a hot water bottle.

You should be fine with those dates just make sure you have plenty of pads as bleeding is quite heavy the first couple of days.

I hope this helps put your mind at ease a bit. You will be teary it's an emotional thing and your hormones won't be helping at the minute. Good luck and enjoy your holiday!

[Anon4 in reply to Asherzly92]

Hi Asherzly92 Thank you so much for your reply, I am dreading it but you have put mind at ease . I am worried I will go in there crying so they won't give me the pill, but I am 100% made up my mind. That's why I haven't told anyone as I think they will try and talk me out of it & it's my decision to make, even though an awful one to have to make. I will get loads of pads and painkillers thank you. And thank you, I've been waiting a long time for this holiday so I hope it can keep my mind off what happened.

[Anon4]

I've just been for my appointment & the doctor talked me into having the surgical abortion as I was in a bit of a state when I went in. I have it on Saturday. Still very distressed as I thought I would have had the pill but I couldn't bare to see anything. My age is against me too regarding the medical, they were all really nice there but now I have the worry of the surgical & I can't stop crying.

[Judith_lovesjazz]

Hi there- I'm so sorry that you are feeling so sad. Maybe if you were sacred about seeing things having the surgical abortion will be a better option anyway. And that is lovely that everyone was being so kind to you, I'm sure it will be the same on Saturday. I really hope you are okay and not long until your holiday. xx

[Anon4 in reply to Judith_lovesjazz]

Thank you so much for your reply Judith, I just wish I could stop crying :/. I'm just a bit worried but I think this is the better option for me. They are going to fit a coil at the same time but I really don't think I will be having sex for a very long time after this. I feel so ill & stressed. I'm hoping I will be less so afterwards. The doctor I would be ok to go on holiday as long as I took it easy. Thanks again for replying. X

[Bpas_1968 Partner in reply to Anon4]

Hi Anon, I hope you are ok and taking care of yourself. x

[Anon4 in reply to Bpas_1968]

Hi Katherine, yes thank you I am OK. Feel like a weight has been lifted if I am honest. I feel it strange how I don't feel guilt. I hope that doesn't make me heartless but proves I did the right thing I suppose. Maybe when I get back off holiday it will hit me then, what I did X

[Bpas_1968 Partner]

Oh it doesn't make you heartless at all. There is no reason why you should feel guilty. You did the right thing for you at this point in your life. I know that everyone thinks they should or will feel guilty, but the vast majority of women don't regret their decision. You did nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong - so please don't beat yourself up about it. I hope your holiday takes your mind off it. x

[Anon4 in reply to Bpas_1968]

Thank you, I know I did the right thing for me at this time. I have young Grandchildren too & would like to be able to spend time with them really so it really wouldn't have been practical. Yeah the holiday is putting my mind off it, I am just worried about when I get home & there is more time for thinking :/ X

[Bpas_1968 Partner in reply to Anon4]

Please don't worry - if you think you are going to feel guilty it will make it more likely that you will. You made the decisions that was right for you and your existing family. Enjoy your holiday, and don't let feeling guilty become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take care x

[Anon4 in reply to Bpas_1968]

Thank you for your replies, having no one to talk to about this it has really helped. I'm still bleeding quite a lot & tiny bit of uncomfortable aches but nothing much . I'm going home today but I've had a great time thank you X

[Bpas_1968 Partner in reply to Anon4]

No problem at all. Bleeding 1-2 weeks after an abortion is normal, and nothing to worry about unless it is very heavy - there's some info here which might be of help. bpas.org/abortion-care/afte...

I'm pleased you've been able to talk to someone even if just over the internet! Always here. And very pleased you've had a great holiday! You deserve it.

Take care x

[Anon4 in reply to Bpas_1968]

Thank you, I'm starting to feel bad about it now. I knew it would sneak up on me. Found out the guy who I slept with is now in a relationship & doesn't have a care in the world. I have to live with what I have done now. I feel like just getting really drunk & blurting it out to him but what good would that do. I'm just angry that he doesn't have to deal with any of this. Sorry I feel really dramatic but it's just the way I feel at the moment. I'm sure it will pass x

[Bpas_1968 Partner in reply to Anon4]

You say you "have to live with what you've done" - but you have done absolutely nothing wrong. I completely understand why you feel you just want to tell him because right now you are feeling bad and you want him to too. But don't do anything now you might regret in the long term - because really these feelings will probably pass, and in a few weeks you will most likely feel very different. After an abortion, you can experience relief, then anger, then guilt, but with time your feelings will settle. Again, you did the right thing for you at this point in time. Give it time and I'm sure you will feel better. Do you have a friend you could talk to about this face to face? That might be helpful. x

[Anon4]

Thank you, I was a bit upset last night but I am feeling a little bit better today. Looks like a had a lucky escape anyway as he is a horrible person & I know I did the right thing. There is no one I can talk to as I can't physically say the words without getting upset. The only friend I have is ignoring me anyway so maybe she has found out some way & not talking to me right now, but I am probably being paranoid too. I am sure I will get through it, I've gone this far on my own so best to leave it that way. Thanks again xx

[Kitty30 in reply to Anon4]

Hiya, I just wanted to chime in to say - please don't beat yourself up about this. It does sound like you had a lucky escape - he doesn't seem like a bloke who would have supported you or cared for your child. Stay strong in the knowlegde you did the best thing for your family. Try to take your mind of it but I'm sure these feelings will pass sooner than you think. xxx

[Anon4 in reply to Kitty30]

Thank you for the reply Kitty30, yeah I am sure I did. I just wish he hadn't lied to me about liking me. I have a lot of issues at the moment and this really hasn't helped me at all. I am sure I will get over it, but still doesn't make me feel very good at all. Guess I want him to know what I had to go through, but I wouldn't make a difference with the kind of person he is I suppose. I am just a sad 40 year old that should live with cats maybe instead! xx