It's getting to that time of year so post yours so everyone can have a dose of "laughter is the best medicine"!
Here's one by marigoldb :
What goes Ha Ha Bonk?
A man laughing his head off!
And from me:
How do you go downstairs in a wheelchair?
Bl**y fast!
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? Nothing, its on the house!
What goes 99 bonk?A centipede with a wooden leg.
What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra!
What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?
Christmas Chopin
As long as you have your Chopin Liszt.
Even more groann!!
What goes Black, White, Black, White, Black, White.....A Penguin in a lift 😂
I’ve got my wife a fridge for her Christmas present this year
Can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it
What’s the most dangerous Christmas biscuit?
Ninjabread men
How many letters are there in the Christmas alphabet?
25 - No ‘L’
You’ve been a marvellous audience, Merry Christmas 🎊
What happened on Farther Christmas's Date ? ........ he pulled a cracker !
Even before Christmas has said "Hello", it's saying "Buy, buy"!😊
A man goes to the Drs with a duck on his head.
Dr: What can I do for you?
Duck: Get this guy off my ar*e
What is green and has wheels? Grass - and I lied about the wheels
A weasel walks into a pub. The barman asks "What can I get you to drink" "Pop" goes the weasel!
There are two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and asks "How do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a Boomerang that doesn't come back ?
A Stick
My classes favourite...imagine with actions:
What goes oh, oh, oh?
Santa walking backwards!
You can tell Santa is a man, because no woman would ever wear the same outfit every year.
So true! 
A friend has just traded his automatic Mondeo in for a manual Jaguar. "That's a unusual choice" I said. "No" says he "the wife has an automatic only licence"!
I imagine someone will respond that MichaelJH is being "highbrow" again! 🤣
What do you call Santa's little helpers!
Subordinate Clauses!
Dinosaurs are popular presents at the moment so the children may like these jokes. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic Pork !
What do you call a dinosaur with glasses on? Do you think he saw us ?
Have a lovely Christmas everyone .
I am bumping this up as the jokes should really be coming out today!
Here's a starter!
Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
They were two deer!
I went to the library and asked the assistant if they had a book on Schrödinger's Cat.
She said. "It rings a bell, but I am not sure if it's there or not"! 🤣🤣🤣
I would have thought this thread would grow by the minute with all the crackers being pulled today. Here goes -
Whu is Santa sorting through the carrots in Sainsbury?
He's picking his nose!
What to drink over Christmas 
A stent is not just for Christmas 😂
One year on, happy Christmas!
Happy Christmas to one and all.
Happy hungry Christmas
