How's your health & welfare today?

[chloe40]

We'd love to hear from you<3

Chloe

[Hidden]

Hi Chloe there's sadness in our family another one has gone over🌈 not a blood relation but we knew her from family get togethers, it was the nature of the death and her young age she had a one year old baby too, my niece's husband's niece, died at weekend she left a note saying to her mum will look after the baby of course her mum is, my mum went to see my niece today as worried her her great grandchildren are on loosing there cousin, there ok, we dont know how it effects children there 13 and 15 strangely enough at religious education at school there discussing death and funerals the teacher said if it's too much my nieces daughter can leave the class, but we enjoyed my nephew's son's christening on Sunday we hadn't got the news then, the church service was v uplifting they played all things bright and beautiful with a big TV screen and photos of nature sunsets etc some were almost dancing, I'm not a church person but like to light a candle when I pass a church, and it was so nice to see family we had a good laugh at the celebration party, but that's life I'm afraid it's never plaine sailing we have to take the good days with the bad so to speak and accept that life is never going to be easy all the time if at all and make the best of the good days they give us all a reprieve, thank goodness, and it's a reminder you don't know what's round the corner and we need to appreciate all the good people in our life's even nebours we hardly know, a lot keep dying down our street, I think we need to watch for sines in people especially children and elderly that may be struggling as they often keep things in, sorry for going on I didn't know if I should post this but needed to let this out so I'm glad you posted this today, I hope me saying this is ok. how are you hope your health and welfare is good and your having more good days than bad, 🤗🐼

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

HI Hidden

A very warm welcome to you!

Yes, of course you can post this and I encourage you to keep posting, it's sharing these that help us through <3

Your recent losses are so very sad, for you all and I'm very sorry to read it. Teenagers really do take a close loss very differently to adults, and it is a good idea to keep an eye on them if you can and inform teachers, which I believe you have done already. They can react in a way that is very out of character for them. Some may take up smoking and drinking and more, so signs to watch out for.

You're a very caring person, you think of others when you have your own grief to cope with and that is admirable, it may even help you get through.

I too used to light a candle every time I passed a Church, especially if I had a holiday abroad, it's soothing I find, and you don't have to be religious to do it.

Glad you enjoyed the Church celebration, good for the soul to celebrate I feel.

I'm fine, thank you for asking, that's so appreciated.

Take care

Chloe <3

[Sandradsn]

I've been a bit stressed lately and down.I don't know if it's the season.I have so many happy holiday and summer memories. I miss people so much.I find I'm looking back all the time which is sad .

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Sandradsn]

Hi Sandradsn

It's such a shame that happy memories bring the opposite at times, but there will always be times like this, birthdays, Christmas etc

I'm wondering if you can turn this around and celebrate these events, perhaps go to a place you both loved, plant his favourite flower, cook yourself his favourite meal. It may sound as though this will make it worse, but I've found it really helped me.

I hope you can find a way through Sandra x

Chloe

[Turnipgirl]

On the whole I am doing really well in spite of a setback Monday just gone when I got a call off the finance officer claiming I hadn't paid the rent when I had and I had felt infuriated over the call but thankfully had managed to stay polite!

What I think it was was last Friday when the standing order went out their computer system had crashed as that's what computers do so hadn't updated the payment which is why I got that call when I felt upset and infuriated but thankfully managed to stay polite though!

Last night one of my friends said that it had been natural on Monday for me to have felt infuriated after all I have been through lately and how those calls can feel like a personal attack when you get accused of things you haven't done and how at present I am extra sensitive due to what I have been through recently!

Luckily on Monday I had managed to stay polite when they had said about help with money they could offer and I was boiling with rage inside as I felt patronised and my sister in law said to me you can tell them to get stuffed with their help if you want as it's your choice if you want it!

What I did say to them was thanked them for saying things were available on the phone but said at present I was OK but if I needed anything I would get in contact which was polite and keeps the door open rather than getting aggressive and telling them to get stuffed!

My sister in law said how lots of people don't feel confident in picking up the phone and asking for help which is why they had asked and how there's no need to be embarrassed as she says they hear all kinds of stories from clients and how some people try to pretend problems aren't happening until its too late which is why they had asked rather than to be malicious to get at me personally!

If it had been before I got evicted as has happened in the past I wouldn't have thought anything of it.

Thing was that call brought up an explosion of insecurity and anger and resentment over what happened recently!

When horrible things happen they do affect you like that and I do feel time will be of help!

This morning I thought how it would be rude and ungracious to tell them to get stuffed all because they had asked if I had needed help and I had felt got at which I knew full well was irrational but couldn't help it!

Yesterday I had a job interview and popped into the city centre for a bit which I enjoyed.

I find it's interesting when I look at situations and learn about what it is that upsets me and why that's the case.

I decided at this time I will let the matter drop as it was more than likely a silly mistake and won't make a fuss and complain over it but if it happens again I will!

[chloe40 Administrator]

Oh no, you just don’t need it!

I think you did the right thing x

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

Thing is though money is a taboo and private topic and I feel everyone feels sensitive over it even those who by society's standards are supposedly loaded get upset when they are asked about private matters like that!

At my previous job a colleague cried when she got told off by an angry and bitter older colleague for buying her sandwiches in Boots every day and I had intervened and told the miserable colleague how it wasn't doing her any harm as she's not stealing from you directly so leave her be!

OK perhaps the young colleague could benefit from not getting lunch in Boots everyday and save her cash but it wasn't that miserable colleagues place to tell her that!

It's awful isn't it some of the petty things nasty and miserable people lash out over!

If the colleague had been stealing from the one who told her off then yes then being cross would have been warranted but in my view if its not doing you any harm then butt out and mind your own business!

The miserable colleague had the cheek to have asked me what I had gone to the doctor for!

It wasn't anything that was private but that's not the point and I just said how it was an appointment in minding my own business which I felt was appropriate as I think its bad manners to ask people what they have gone to the doctor or the hospital for myself as in my opinion health matters are private!

It gets me ever so upset though when people think it's their right to butt in and criticise!

With myself I don't go butting into things unless it's a genuine emergency or people have asked me for help then it's up to them to accept it or not as we all have the right to our own choices even if they are irrational and harm us and then I can't get blamed for anything.

Point is if I feel I need help I will ask for it myself!

What it is that upsets me about those who butt in to help without being asked like what happened on Monday is that I feel it's an invasion of my privacy and that they are trying to take away my right to independence and autonomy when they butt in without being asked!

I think the incident on Monday by accident was a gift as it opened the door for me to sit down and rationalise what exactly is it that upsets me about those who butt in without being asked and why and after thinking it over got some answers which will be helpful when things like this happen again in the future.

Things always feel better when they are shared and brought out in the open!

[chloe40 Administrator]

Absolutely!

Now you can move forward after this upsetting episode.

<3

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

Yes I will be moving on after Mondays episode and I'm looking forward to doing some nice things on the weekend as it's the Cardiff Bay Food festival over the weekend which I am really looking forward to!

The chap downstairs has had his electricity cut off as he hasn't been able to pay for it and I said how the energy prices are steep for everyone no matter how much money is coming in every month!

That finance officer should concentrate on those who really do need help like the chap downstairs as its a paradox that those who really do need help don't get what they need as that's serious getting utilities cut off though!

That made me count my blessings as thankfully here I have everything I need to live comfortably with.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Turnipgirl]

Enjoy your weekend!

Yes, that's so true <3