Grieving and wicked waves of pain

[SadBear2020]

I lost my beloved father to COVID-19. The pain is unbearable and I have zero support from family. My spouse isn’t good with this stuff and is wrapped up with his bratty kids making me feel even more lonely and alone. I can’t even talk to my one mother as my parents divorced over 20 yrs ago. I have no one I can talk to. This is the first loss I have ever experienced in my life of this sort. I drink 2 glasses of wine every night just to fall asleep. I visit the cemetery weekly and talk to my dad but end up balling so much that I can’t even drive myself home.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello SadBear2020 Firstly a very warm welcome to our friendly Community.

I empathise <3 the loss of your dear Father is a great loss especially when you were so close to him. All losses hurt but you are in the right place for support.

I'm sorry your spouse does not understand and that's sad, it would be helpful if he were but maybe he just does not know what to say in this situation, sometimes those who don't know what to say, say nothing.

It sounds as though there is tension between yourself and his children and I'm really sorry, especially at a time like this but maybe the relationship seems poor because of your grief and sometime in the future it will change for you.

Visiting the cemetery can be upsetting but at least you are letting go of your emotions and will in time find it to be a comforting experience.

At some point, you may want to consider Bereavement Counselling which would be online now I imagine and it may be helpful for you.

In the meantime, we're always here and our members are very supportive.

Chloe <3

[spykey]

Hi sad bear2020 So Sorry to hear all your sad news, but you are Very Much Welcome here and you've come to the right place everyone here has lost someone, I lost my Mum in April, I can't talk to my Dad he cancelled Christmas months ago and my great niece is seriously ill so I can't see or speak to my sister & her family, I really feel for you not being able to talk to your partner is obviously difficult for you, but we are here for you Chloe is brilliant and others too, don't be afraid to message, it may not get an instant answer but you will get an answer to your post. Look after yourself as much as is possible for you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love and Blessings

Spykey🕊

[SadBear2020 in reply to spykey]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for empathizing. I’m also so sorry that you have lost your Mum. Please accept my condolences. Losing a parent is devastating. I am here too for you and any support I can offer - it helps to support one another during these very scary and lonely times. I will be alone for the New Years or I can be around my obnoxious stepkids who only care about themselves, which makes me feel so much worse. I’m sorry if you’re going to be alone for Christmas - you don’t serve to be and I’m happy to chat her with you to help you through. Thanks again for all of your kind words. Be well ~ hugs.