What not to do when you're grieving

[chloe40]

5 Things Not to Do When Grieving

Never try to self-medicate your emotional pain away, have a chat with your doctor.

Don't avoid the pain you feel, it's natural even though it hurts like noting else.

Don't hide yourself away from friends and family, they want to help.

Please don't focus on regrets, choices you've made, or past actions you've taken, it never helps.

Never make major, life-changing decisions.

Chloe <e

[Hidden]

Thanks for this, Chloe. Your 3rd and 4th points stick out to me as something I needed to hear.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

I'm glad it helps Hidden

Take care of yourself and a Happy birthday for this week <3

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

Thank you for the birthday wishes. It is very hard. Since my brain is all muddled right now, I'm not sure if this is the 2nd or 3rd birthday without her. It doesn't matter, though. This birthday seems to be hitting me extra hard. I think it might be because I was so focused on my trauma the other times that I didn't have the space to think about anything else. Now that I'm shifting focus back to her (I never thought "it's about time" would be words I'd have to use for grieving...), I think it's really hitting me hard.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Really sorry you're suffering Hidden

I know you were thinking about counselling with your Church, you really could do with extra support <3

Chloe

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

Thanks, Chloe. I wish I could get support at the church. I know logically that I do have their support, but this awful woman trumps that. She'll be back end of April, and I will be disappearing again. It's horrible.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Hi Hidden

Can you use the time before 'she' returns to ask for support? you could really do with using this time for support <3

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

That's a good idea. I would really like to get with the church council about this before she returns. I'm horribly afraid of her downplaying my grief again if I go back to the church when she gets back. If I talk to the council, they will know to be on the lookout then. I wonder if the pastor would approve that? I'll ask, so thanks for the idea.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Please let us know how you get on <3

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Thanks for the reminder. I’m still grieving my daughter and need reminders like this

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Yes, we often forget that it is still early days with our loss, everyone has different needs and if you're like me, it can take longer than we ever imagine.

Take care now

<3

[Caza]

Well, I did all five. I think if I hadn’t done the first 2 I honestly don’t think I’d be around today.

I still keep the doors to thought & pain firmly shut.

I’m getting better with the forth one & as for the fifth….. made 3 major decisions all ended badly & have changed my future forever.

Wise words Chloe

[chloe40 Administrator]

I totally understand that Caza

I think many of us would have, especially after losing a child.

I hope life is treating you kindly <3

[gracy225]

Hi Chloe, these are spot on! Especially, #1. Trust me, I tried.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to gracy225]

Thanks gracy225

Glad they are of help <3