Hypothetically, What help would you offer/give

[chloe40]

If someone you new was grieving and not coping?

Chloe

[GoGo_JoJo]

Just to sit there with them; hold their hand and reassure them it's OK to not know what to do/ how to deal/ that all feelings are perfectly valid regardless if they think they're the "right" ones. Make them tea and toast and make sure they're getting basic sustenance.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

I think you're absolutely right GoGo_JoJo

I think so many forget the benefit of just sitting beside someone, no need for lots of chat. Making a cup of tea and toast is perfect, Thanks Jo

Chloe x

[Aisha12]

I had just got to know someone because of a health condition I had, and they gave me a lot of insight and guidance in regards to that. A few weeks after getting to know this person, her dad passed away suddenly just like my dad did. I went to see her and gave her a hug and didn’t say much. I just sat held her hand and listened to her grief. I let her cry her heart out, I didn’t tell her not to cry (because that really annoyed me when people would tell me to just be strong). I just sat and grieved with her. I sat with her in her silence, her tears. Over the weeks she’d approach me Everytime she wanted to talk about how she was feeling and I’d give her advice and some comforting words. But the reason she felt comfortable enough to reach out to me each time was because as soon as it happened, I just sat with her, holding her hand. Letting her know it’s okay to feel extremely hurt, and to cry. It’s okay not be okay. I shared her grief and she felt that. We’re now very close friends as result of it

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Aisha12]

That's so uplifting to read Aisha12

Your presence meant so much to her, thank you so much for being there for her xx

Chloe

[Greyone]

An attentive ear at least. Maybe after making an approach and a few opening words. During my early days, studied some words by Dr Alan Wolfelt on such a task and he seems to strike the right balance. he's also written on this very question.

So i think would want to swat before putting myself forward for such a task.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Thank you Greyone

Sometimes words are inconsequential on these occasions, whatever you feel able is enough.

Chloe

[Greyone]

As always the first step is listening

[chloe40 Administrator]

Absolutely Greyone

That's exactly what we need, especially initially when we're so stunned.

Thank you!

Chloe