One of the hardest things to do...

[chloe40]

was go through my loved ones possessions and decide what I should keep and what should go. What items did you keep?

Chloe

[Hidden]

Hi Chloe, I'm am still dealing with this as my family lived in the same house for 100 years. I have a lovely clock that was my grandma's and one of her prized possessions. My mum walked her dog down the woods opposite and the lane to the woods was lined with bluebells that would flower around her birthday and mum bought a painting of the bluebells in flower from a local artist and thats a prized possession of mine now. Its like the clock I smile as they make me happy as they have real history for me.

But I've boxes of things that I just stored in my last home so I'm going to give things to new homes as it's pointless just hanging on to some things unless there's emotional attachment otherwise it's clutter...

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

100 years in the same house, that's amazing. I love that vision of bluebells lining the lane to the woods Jerry, the thought actually relaxes me and to have a painting of it is so apt! I'm not surprised about the clock, as you say the history behind the clock has history.

It's can be very difficult deciding which items but you sound as thought you've made the right decisions. What was important to our loved ones may not be so to us and I think that's why I've found it difficult making the decision with that in mind.

Chloe

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

It is difficult and the easiest option is to just store it which I've done with many things.

What I am pleased with a cousin traced mum through the family history and as she knew very little about the family when I have a photo of my grandma with her sister her mum her gran and her great gran.

I also had a box of Photo's and my cousin worked out who they were so I said you take them.

We shared the same great grandparents and I had their walking sticks so I gave her her great grandma's and I liked that, my cousin did too. 😊

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

That's so exciting and great you were able to fill in some gaps Jerry and give them something they'll both treasure for the future, lovely!

Chloe

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi I still have one or two of my mums clothes pegs and still use them pots and pans as well even a letter she wrote to me when I was in Africa..my dads things are mostly still at his house and even although its my nieces house now my dads slippers still sit beside the chair.my dad smoked when he had a drink but nipped it for later and I still have a few of them.my son I don't have much apart from a baby grow and something I will maybe post on his anniversary.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

They are lovely items to keep Kenny kenster1

Really nice, things that mean so much, I love them <3

Chloe

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to kenster1]

I've got my Dad's ashtray. He was a heavy smoker. It was made by his younger brother from a large piston in metal shop class. I can still not look at it without seeing his hands, flat fingers smashing out the fags. 😞

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

Oh GoGo_JoJo what a vivid memory and a good one I think.

I have only one memory of my grandfather, a scary man who smoked a pipe, I can see him sitting in his chair! I think he is why my Dad was such a tyrant, must run in the family

Chloe

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to chloe40]

Yes, whilst the fags were bad for him he was usually smiling or chuckling as he put them out. 😊

[kenster1 Volunteer in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

just before my mum took ill she wrote out a shopping list the usual bread and milk things like that this was 2009 you know we had that bit of paper for years till recently I think I put it in a crisp box by mistake and the box went in the bin.

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to kenster1]

I'm sorry I've lost all my Dads' letters. I moved around a fair bit and they just went. My mothers' I was happy to lose as they were invariably spiteful but my Dads' were lovely 😔 he'd buy special pens to try and keep his handwriting nice and wax seals and the like...

[kenster1 Volunteer in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

yeah my son was about 4 my bedroom was being decorated and I got my son to draw a clock on the wall after he put up the clock we covered it 2 years later he died but till this day the clock he drew is still on the wall after 20 years.funny how we remember these things.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

Wow Kenny kenster1

That's lovely, I wish I had something from my parents that I cherished but sadly not.

Chloe

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

That's a real shame GoGo_JoJo

but you have some lovely memories to cherish.

Chloe

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to chloe40]

Yes, no one is getting those. In reality it is these which are the most important.

[GoGo_JoJo]

I was in such a daze, having limited time (1 week) in a foreign country and knowing I'd have difficulty bringing stuff back with weight etc.

Whilst I was there to deal with my mother's possessions, it aIso meant those which she'd kept from losing my Dad 4 years previous. I had to give priority to legal papers etc that had little or no meaning for me.

Photos of course, I got my brother to take all my Dad's carvings, I could face them in my own home but needed to know they were saved, my mother's small jewellery collection even though I really didn't want it, diaries, a couple of ornaments that I wrapped well and hoped would survive the flight (they did), few trinkets that I remembered growing up... it really wasn't much when we looked at the pile... especially as it was really 2 lives and not just one 😔

Everything else I had to sell quickly/give away to needy and charity.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

That must have been so stressful for you both GoGo_JoJo I just can't imagine how painful that was and to have to decide what you can and can't bring home too must have been difficult, so sorry you had to go through that.

Chloe x

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to chloe40]

It was truly horrendous. Dealing with such things, and in another language, just piled stress on stress. Incredibly we did get everything done, including the house on the market (fortunately it's normal to buy a house with furniture/ dishes etc in Spain). The only saving grace is that it's done, and, sadly having lost both now, I won't have to go through that again and I can concentrate on healing.

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to chloe40]

I couldn't speak or even hear Spanish spoken for months afterwards.

We had discussed going back if we had to but I was determined to do it all, ai simply could not face going back there again.

I was angry, how dare they both leave so much for me to do, how dare they take so little care of themselves to die at 56 and 62, in this day and age where 60 is still considered middle age. The thought kept occuring to me... what if I just don't go... they can't make me...

Spanish inheritance laws are convoluted, it took another year to settle everything, which was just crazy given how little their "estate" was. 🙈

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

That's awful GoGo_JoJo

An absolute nightmare for you Jo and they were so very young!

I have heard that Spanish law is very slow and difficult and managing that on top of your loss doesn't bare thinking about.

Chloe x