I just can't delete my friend from my messages now she has passed.....

[chloe40]

It would upset me so much, yet I see her face every time I need to send a message and that too makes me upset.

Is there a solution to this?

Chloe

[Skyp]

Hi chloe.hard isn't it.must admit I have three freinds that have passed and I can't bring myself to delete xx

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Skyp]

You're right there Skyp but it's really difficult and of course I re-read the messages which makes it harder x

[Caza]

Can you archive them? So that you only see them & her if you choose to.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

Of course Caza

How daft am I?

I didn't give that a thought, that way I can look if and when I want to.

x

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

👍

[kenster1 Volunteer in reply to chloe40]

can you upload them to your computer in case your phone gets lost or broke.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

Ooh, that’s a good idea Kenny kenster1 I really wouldn’t have thought of that!

How are you Kenny?

x

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

I've lost lots of photos wish I'd printed them off id do that don't rely on computer photos 2 phones broke and a computer xx

[Hidden]

Hello Chloe so sorry about your friend,, my mam said it still upsets her seeing unexpected photos of her husband passed 2o years ago but she said she's ok with ones had around as she is kind of desensitised to them, I am same with photos I have of my loved ones, also I have deliberately put one of me and mam where I see it regular ready for when she dies in hope I'll be ok with that one, so your friend has recently died, in which case it's still raw and it's very difficult to come up with a solution, of course you don't want to delete your friends photo it would be like wiping them away, maby yiu should keep looking at the photo talk to your friend like shes here which of course she is, as mentioned before the spirit is energy never dies, nor does love, i assure your friend is still with you talk to her photo about the happy times you had the fun stuff remember yourselves laughing together,hopefully that in itself will make you smile, and find comfort in her photo knowing when you miss her you can still see her and talk to her,the more you do it the easier it will be hopefully,sending a hug 🤗💛🌟xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Also I have kept a answer message off my mam as I want to be able to here her voice when she goes, due to her age and health,I am aware it will happen one day, probably sooner than later,I'm not sure if I'll be able to listen at first but im.sure I'll try and to feel close to her, I remember mam did a lovely video of me in the garden with my beloved favourite cat when he died I couldn't face watching it for a long time but when I did it brought me joy like he was with me again and remembering that happy time, if my suggestion of desensitising yourself to the photo doesn't work midoras idea of archiving the photo until your ready seems a good solution 😊

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

I'm not sure I could cope with the voice of any of my close loved ones that have passed Hidden that would be too much for me!

x

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply Hidden

All good advice.

I think it's because it's fairly recent and her photo always takes me by surprise when I want to message someone.

Sending {{{hugs}}}

Chloe x

[Hidden in reply to chloe40]

I'm sorry about that it seems as we reach a certain age there's always someone dying mam is afraid now as her friend nebour had a heart operation 2 months ago but had a stroke few days ago we don't know how he is, in her nebourhood her age our dying been so many last few years my best friend dad is on his end of life, her mam died November brother just before that, it's never ending, I hope you find some peace in your day I'm enjoying a gardening programme too rainy for garden work today I'll be eating with mam later 😊xx

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Hidden

I’m really sorry you and your Mam have had so many losses recently and I hope your neighbour recovers after going through such trauma.

You’re so right, when we’re older, it’s natural to hear of many losses but it doesn’t come any easier 😒

X

[Turnipgirl in reply to Hidden]

This lunchtime it's a pub lunch out which we haven't done for ages at the Fox and Hounds pub nearby which we are really looking forward to.

[Hidden in reply to Turnipgirl]

Hi cat that's great you can forget about work etc and just relax 🤗

[Turnipgirl in reply to Hidden]

Today I really really enjoyed my pub lunch out as we hadn't done one for ages and managed to sit outside in the beer garden as well and saw a friend from the Willows pub who was having lunch out with family who says he doesn't bother with the Willows now and prefers the Fox and Hounds as no one is rude there like they were at the Willows making comments on what people are eating as he thought it was extremely bad manners when that man was making those rude comments to me about how much I was eating and in protest decided not to bother with the Willows again like us saying they are cheap at any price!

[Downinil in reply to Hidden]

Hi Twinkly! You have made me smile with your post about the spirit of loves eternal life. Beautiful way to think about our past loved ones. It’s such a comfort to think in that way. Thank you.

[Hidden]

A friend send me this wanted to share it with you 😊click to see full

🌈

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

Oh wow, that’s beautiful, thank you twinkle!

x

[Turnipgirl]

After my father died back in 2021 it took me a while to accept that by deleting his details it was permanent and forever and it took me a few weeks to do that.

I find time helps with things like that myself.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Thank you Turnipgirl much appreciated x

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

18th April it was 3 years since my father died at 11.30am that Sunday morning and we did our usual 11.30am lunch to celebrate his life in spite of some people saying I am sick for doing parties to celebrate the life of a man who abused me!

One evening I was in the concourse at the hospital and there was a father with his kids going to see their new baby at the maternity unit and it brought back memories of when I was 6 and my father took myself and my sister to the old maternity hospital to see our new baby which was an old victorian building which has been pulled down!

When I was 19 I had gone to the old Victorian maternity hospital to see a friend who had just had a baby not having been there since I was 6 and the place appeared to have shrunk and another friend said its because you've grown up!

[Sandradsn]

I know how you feel Chloe,its very emotional. I keep my loved ones in my contacts on my phone still, I can't delete them.I have a lovely short video clip of my mum talking to my little granddaughters on my phone too.Its heartbreaking and comforting at the same time😥

[chloe40 Administrator]

Yes. I agree Sandradsn

I imagine it could be comforting sometime in the future as long as it’s not recent, as that could be really uncomfortable.

My goodness, we never had this problem years ago, I really am showing my age !

x

[Greyone]

Maybe there is an alternative to deleting. if you immortalized her details in a picture or photograph. You could also export her contact details as a .vcf file and save them in you phone in the safe or hidden folder.

If you have her photograph why not make a collage with a txt of phone style message and have it framed as a way to express your creativity and relationship?

Hope some of this helps.

G1

[chloe40 Administrator]

My goodness, how creative you are Greyone you have some amazing ideas here,

Thank you 🙏