If God & cancer were people

[Lezneed2ruth]

Hay guys how's everybody doing today.. 😕🙃

I have to have a little bit of a rant and I am apologise for offending anybody especially here, right now in this moment IF only if.... Iam sad to say I would really challenge 🥊🥊boxing ring upper cut chin right off! Ding 🔔ding your knocked the f©k out.

Just few days ago our community have lost a great woman, her funeral is next week. Sadly she passed after diagnosis with bowel cancer, she was to ashamed to go her gp. She leaves her daughter and little granddaughter.

Wake up this morning to a post fb, our local group about people our community has lost and ancestry links. Of one of our original families has passed away, just this moment we have been told one of our neighbours and good family friends has 18 minutes ago passed away. My knees actually buckled and now am here like rocky balboa, tears raining down my face I seriously cannot cope with any more pain and emotional breakdown. I have just had blood tests done myself, went back my GP explaining my worries. And I know she's using mind over matter tactics get the labs done, my worries may settle, and I admit I hoped this.... But nope iam still clearly able to notice swelling of the nodes in my left side of neck. 29th I have my appointment with gp for results and she said regardless of results she will book me for a scan. 1 question she asked me was did I feel like my body wasn't normal, she said you know what I mean?

I replied yes I get you.. This is what worried me I'd say pretty intune with myself. But with everything already I have been dealing with. Then dad's diagnosis cancer and he suddenly died.. I am far over due my own health appointments. I seriously can't say but I feel something not really right. So she said OK full works if we have to Lesley. I won't be stressed anymore thinking, what if I have but too late, and then my mind knows about my body's business! Then boom, because I certainly not ashamed or scared to speak to gp. I have just been supporting & attending dad's chemo appointments with my parents and caring for my partner mental health care, my adult son and his mental health. So now I'm going to do me.

And exhale slowly

thanks for that all you guys here on bereavement care and share your support has and is helping me peace love and strength to you all

[GoGo_JoJo]

It's so tough when things hit all at once, I had 3 losses in four months last year and then to and fro the gp with various symptoms which gp suspected was all kinds of awful things. Fortunately it was all stress related (no big surprise) and all ok now.

Just do your best to look out for your health, both mental and physical.

But yes, cancer is a bitch and sometimes I get pretty annoyed with any God that allows such indiscriminate pain and suffering.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi Lezneed2ruth

You've really been through it haven't you? and personally, I think it's time to take a step back, acknowledge the recent loss and then concentrate on recovery yourself. You're worn out with grieving which really doesn't help your physical health at all but stay positive what ever happens and try not to overload your mind with 'what if's' right now. The 29th is two days away and I know it seems like two months but hang on in there xx

Please let us know how you get on if you feel up to it.

Chloe