New to grief

[kristinaapril]

Hi everyone, I'm new here although I wish I didn't need to join. I am 26 years old and less than a month ago I lost my mom, 57, after a 2 1/2 year battle with ovarian cancer. This is my first time dealing with my own grief as an adult (ironically, I'm a counselor so I help others process through grief). I am struggling so much coping with my grief and the self care routines that I have utilized in the past are no longer sufficing for me. I have obtained some bereavement advice/therapy and am waiting until I am able to begin long-term therapy. However, in the meantime, is anyone willing to share what helps them deal with their grief?

Thanks,

Kris.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi kristinaapril

A very warm welcome o our community.

I'm so sorry to read your sad news.

It is vey difficult for us when it comes helping ourselves, even though we know how to support others in this situation. We all grieve differently and develop our own coping skills but personally, I kept my mind busy, very busy actually and volunteering has been a godsend for me interspersed with periods of reflection each day initially and then as time went by I dedicated reflecting to one period each day. Keeping a journal was so helpful, as was creating my own memory box, which I keep close to me and look through the contents every time I reflected, that way my loved one was always very close to me.

I'm pleased you are awaiting therapy yourself, it will help enormously and you'll find we have really supportive members here all willing to have chat, so please do stay in touch.

Chloe

[klr31]

I talk to my mum (who died in 2014) in my head and try to feel her around me. I'm fortunate in that I know what she would say to me if I despair. Do you know what your mum would have said to you?

Karen

[RoseyViolet]

I'm so sorry Kristina that you are going through the process of grief, it can be quite a journey over time. I too have been touched by grief of losing a loved one, my sister, actually, as well, my only other living sister has stage 4 cancer and lives daily in struggle, pain and hardship related to it. Quite frankly, the ONLY way I've found to cope with all of it is to lean on Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. For me, He's my strength, my hope, my healer of pain in the midst of hopelessness, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. One piece of advise I pass along to those who are struggling with grief is to go through the stages, knowing your timing is different than others in how they process grief. Reach out for counseling or leaning on a trusted friend when you need to and don't feel bad for asking, its all part of the healing process. Talk when you need to talk, listen when you need to listen and feel when you need to feel. I pray that you find hope, peace and strength to face the days ahead.

[GlutenLadYorkshire]

Sorry about your loss, I lost me dad a week ago and it’s painful, I feel your pain, I thought I was ok I hide the fact that I’m hurting and try to stay strong for others but I don’t think I can cope with it my dad was only 61, taken too soon. I haven’t really come to terms with it at all, I don’t seem real. My mum asked if I wanted to see him in rest but I declined as I don’t want to see him like that as my last image of him