Can you help?

[chloe40]

Many of our dear members have been with us a long time, and I would

really like you to pass on any valuable tips and support you feel would help another member.

Thank you and sending love and support to you all.

Chloe

[kenster1 Volunteer]

just to try and surround yourself with people you know will help and support you in difficult times.another would be to try and forget illness or cause of death and try and place them with good memories.i firmly believe visiting the graveyard regular helps me deal with grieving better and life in general.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to kenster1]

They are really helpful words Kenny kenster1

Thanks so much!

Chloe

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to kenster1]

Definately thinking about good memories, looking at happy photos. I was lucky enough to find a video clip of my Dad chuckling in the background, a very comforting sound. I made fridge magnets of some of my favourite childhood pics with my Dad and seeing them frequently helped a lot.

Visiting a site isn't always possible, my Dad's ashes were sent back to Canada to be interred next to his father who died very young. My mothers' I sent to be placed next to his, which was the only place she ever wanted to be, next to him.

I don't know what became of my dear Catharina's ashes, so no sites to spend time at but I do find it helpful to just talk to them (not expecting answers of course!) Whenever I see or hear something I would previously have told my Dad, I still do. Same for Catharina.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

Thanks GoGo_JoJo

These are so helpful xx

Chloe

[PieceByPeace in reply to chloe40]

I lost my Dad 2 years ago suddenly in a freak accident and it absolutely devastated me. In the months to follow my grief was so strong I couldn't ignore it. When I would feel the pain and tears coming on I would embrace it if I was able to...like if I was home alone....and I would weep and get it out. If I wasn't alone I would take a few minutes (or however long it took) to myself to let it out. This might sound strange but I would go into my closet, shut the door and let it out or go out on the back porch and let loose. This way I could get it out my own way without worrying about making anyone uncomfortable...cause let's face it...when someone is weeping it can make even those most close to you feel awkward b/c they might not know how to help you and often they can't...it's just tears you have to let out. The pain felt horrible at the moment, but letting it out felt better on the other end. I hope this helps.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to PieceByPeace]

Thank you for your reply PieceByPeace

I fully understand that myself <3

Chloex

[Lperica10]

Yes my dad has been gone 2 1/2 years and people told me time would help and I didn’t believe them. Now I do. I have ups and downs but not quite as many downs and sadness and constant thinking about it as in the beginning. Here are some things that helped me. Crying when you need to! Talking to people about him. Hearing stories I may not have heard before from his friends. Pictures. Making a memorial garden. Making a memorial box with his belongings and special things. Getting a small tattoo for him. Talking to him. Journaling. Seeing a therapist. Taking some time just to sit and think quietly about him. Doing special things like on his birthday sharing his favorite meal with my sisters. Just recently I started thinking about how he would want me to be happy and live my life. (Again some of these things you can not think about in the beginning because grief is all consuming and a process. It goes in baby steps and comes and goes in waves.) And you never stop missing the person. Ever. 💙💙💙

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Lperica10]

Thanks so much Lperica10

Really grateful to you.

Chloe xx