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Bereavement Care & Share
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My mom

I am writing a narrative in my English class about the last vacation I took with my mom. It’s hard to write about it in general, but my teacher also wants me to add more emotional weight and go into depth about the meaning of the story. In order to do that, I need to go in more depth about my moms health.

I almost cried in the hallway today because I couldn’t handle doing the paper. I didn’t want to write about it anymore. My friends were sitting right next to me and they didn’t talk to me or see if I was okay or anything. I usually walk with them to class but instead I just went really fast to my next class. When they saw me later they didn’t even ask why I didn’t wait for them. They didn’t even realize I wasn’t there, I don’t think.

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Hello iriss,

Sorry to hear you are having issues with your classmates, this sounds like a difficult topic to write about.

My advice would be to try and think back to when you had your last holiday and write down all the fun things that you did together, you can add a little weight by adding a few things like maybe the odd moan that she had with you.

You can say how her health affected her on holiday doing day to day things that most people would perhaps find difficult, things that she loved to do.

Try and get back into the zone so that you can relive the good times you had, add some funny stories that you may have. Write down a list of points and then take a break, you never know some ideas may suddenly spring to mind.

I was never any good at writing when I was at school but that was a long time ago, I find it much easier now.

Don’t worry too much about your classmates, maybe they are not sure how to talk to you about your Mom, have you got a teacher that you can share your troubles with.

Hope this helps.

Good luck.😀

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That’s all good advice, I’ll try to do it.

I don’t really want to talk to any teachers about it because they’re all busy and I don’t have any that I’m close with.

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Hi @iriss

I assume your teacher knows that you have lost your Mum? Maybe a quick word may help if you felt that you didn't want to continue with that piece that said, writing is a very powerful medium and healer, so even if you didn't finish the school piece, I would suggest you write in a journal all the memories, worries, concerns you have about your Mom's death as well as things you'd like to have said to her. As for you 'friends' I think it was purely because they felt uncomfortable for you and didn't know what to say to you. You'd be amazed how many people will cross the road or just not contact a bereaved person because they feel uncomfortable themselves and don't know how out reach out to those left behind. Try not to dwell on this.

I hope this helps in some small way, take good care of yourself and remember, you are welcome here anytime.

Chloe x

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I have to continue with the piece because the final draft is due tomorrow. I might do that too.

Maybe they were, but if they’re uncomfortable then why would they previously say that they’re here for me to talk to about anything ??

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Sometimes iriss our friends mean to support us but when it comes to it something happens to prevent it. If it were me, I would speak to your 'closest' friend and let her know that her lack of support really upset you at a time when you needed it most and see what she comes back with. Maybe best to do this over the weekend rather than at school and also better to do it sooner rather than let it go on.

Please do let me know how you get on.

Chloe

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That is a good idea. I don’t really have anyone who I feel I am closest to. Everyone is sort of equal closeness to me. I don’t have a best friend or anything like that.

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