Bereavement Care & Share
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A Cemetery Visit

How long does it take before you can get yourself to go visit? It has been 2 years and i still can’t get myself to go visit my father 😞

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The first time a woman offered to drive me to visit my husband's grave was at a hospice bereavement group about a year after his passing. (I no longer drive.) I accepted, then declined, because I just wasn't ready. A year later, I felt ready and asked a woman acquaintance to drive me. At the cemetery, she gave me plenty of time alone to visit the grave site where his ashes are interred in my state's cemetery for U.S. veterans. You will know when it's the right time to visit your father. Bring a friend with you. I wished I had brought a camera to capture the cemetery's lovely wooded setting.

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Thank you so much for your response

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Hi NewBeginning1

I visited from the time of my loss but everyone is different, I found it really does help, especially if you can sit and reflect. If you want to go, perhaps you could ask someone to accompany you, you may be surprised and experience some healing even though you may be a little upset. I always kiss the headstone when I leave, it gives me some comfort. Have a think about it.

Chloe

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Hey Chloe,

Thanks for sharing your experience. It makes sense that I could help with the healing process. I will definitely think about it :)

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That's good news, no pressure whatsoever, it's your call, when you are ready x

Chloe

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I go regular I think its a place I can be at peace with life and remember my loved ones.

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I am glad it works that way for you!

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yeah not all of us are the same.my brother has never been to our mums grave in the 9 year since she passed.

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I am glad it’s not only me to be honest. I was feeling guilty about it

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It took me 15 years to get myself to go and see my father because i thought i had no need. When i realised his anniversary was exactly a week after my mothers, i decided to make a visit. I went to look at the verse in the book of remembrance and then understood why my mums verse was the same.

My reason for not visiting was because i thought and still do that i did not need to because i came to terms with his passing very quickly and i am still comfortable with that. Good luck to you.

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Hi it takes time I couldn't go to my mum's grave for such a long time I think each person grieving handles it totally different..I didn't like and still don't like the idea my mum was buried she always wanted to be cremated but because my stepfather was a Catholic she agreed to be buried with him my mum hated the cold and the thought of me leaving her there breaks my heart it really does...

Love Nat

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Thanks for your response. I agree with you that everyone handle it differently. As for you mum, she make her choice to be buried, you cannot blame yourself for it :)

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Thank you so much

Nat x

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