Coil: I was raped a week ago the police doctor said I... - BASHH

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Coil

Nikita1974
Nikita1974

I was raped a week ago the police doctor said I could be pregnant because my coil is over ten years old is this right

75 Replies
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Hidden
Hidden

Call the doctor if you look online you can have a medical abortion upto 10 weeks (basically a better morning after pill)

Dear Nikita,

Please ignore the facetious remarks posted by others. I'm sorry this happened to you. The risk of pregnancy is dependent on a number of factors, including your age, when in relation to your menstrual cycle you were assaulted as well as the longevity of the IUD. If the coil is < 2 years overdue (i.e. 10y + 2) then it may still have some contraceptive activity.

How soon after the assault did you alert the police/SARC? If you reported this within 5 days and they were aware of the coil's expiry, why didn't the doctor offer to refer you for an emergency coil replacement or EllaOne?

Adhari

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Adhari

I haven’t been offered any contraception

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Adhari

I alerted police the day after

HiddenThis reply has been deleted
HiddenThis reply has been deleted
Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Hidden

I only have the hospital number where I was examined and my sister but she doesn’t want to know anymore details as they are so distressing

HiddenThis reply has been deleted
Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Hidden

I am having flashbacks and can still smell him I’m very jumpy and nervous my go has put me on sedatives this only happened a week ago I am a student nurse

If what you say is correct, then you have strong grounds for complaint if you become pregnant.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Adhari

I was sexually assaulted then raped the police are gathering evidence if I’m pregnant what can be done

Adhari
Adhari
in reply to Nikita1974

I don't think it's appropriate for me to comment any further. If you live in the UK, please seek advice from nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-hea...

Also, there is a link on that page for you to contact your local Sexual Assault & Referral Centre. The phone line and centres are open in spite of lockdown and you should try to speak to someone for further guidance.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Adhari

Thankyou

HiddenThis reply has been deleted
Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Hidden

No I’m not working I’m studying thankyou for your support

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Hidden

The police have arrested him seized his phone cai have assessed the house and car

Csi

Your welcome.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I feel so dirty no matter how much I wash can still smell the semen and my arms sore he bruised it

Yes of course. this could get protracted and go on and on, are you prepared for that ?

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

The detectives have said it could be a long process but they recorded the statement so I wouldn’t have to go to court where r u? I’m in liverpool

You need counselling for sure. It's not something you want to deal with alone.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I am going back to my go for help I’m really not coping very well

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Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Hidden

I’m feeling similar I love Wales I go with my family and children to haven in pwhelli

daabren
daabren
in reply to Nikita1974

Beautiful place. I cycle to Barry Island often for a coffee. Love it. so relaxing ....

yes that's the best thing you can do THERAPY !

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

Lovely place wales

Yes it sure is. Lots of coastline and beautiful sand.

You ok ?

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I’m still in shock and feel so ashamed feel like it’s my fault for wearing a dress

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Nikita1974

Don't ever feel that way!! You didn't ask for something like this to happen to you,

You wouldn't blame someone if they told you they were raped so DON'T blame yourself.

no one has the right to touch you it doesn't matter what your wearing.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Hidden

Thankyou I am having nightmares and flashbacks and can still smell him. Jumping at the slightest noise

Why do you think like that ?

Its not your fault that some pervert was prowling at the same time that you were out. It is EVERY woman right to wear what she wants, when she wants. As a man I certainly enjoy looking at women looking nice. As a very strong feminist I would expect you to enjoy that feeling that you are being admired. Most normal men think like me. We appreciate to look at a beautiful woman but a very very small minority of men have problems....

Please do not blame yourself this is absolutely NOTHING to do with you, you were just in the wrong place for a few seconds when you were targeted. You were very very very unlucky.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

Thankyou

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I was abused and imprisoned and bruised I feel like it was my fault because of the way I look

HiddenThis reply has been deleted
Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to Hidden

I have long blond hair am tanned 5 foot six medium build age 45 and am half swedish

Then I am sure you look very beautiful but that is no excuse to get raped.

Did you go out on your own the day it happened ?

Were you out in the evening going for a drink ?

You cannot blame yourself and the way you look.

maybe you are the most beautiful woman in the world, it is no excuse for a man to take advantage.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

No we talked for six weeks then met

Have you lived in Liverpool all your life ?

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

Thankyou x yes I have my dad is Swedish so I have the Scandinavian looks

You must put this behind you. It will be hard I know but you need therapy from a trained councillor.

You will have big trust issues now. talking to me is not going to help you.

If someone you were talking to for 6 weeks suddenly rapes you that is seriously mental.

He deceived you in a big way, that you did not know him , really know him.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I like talking to you you seem to understand

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I see now that he groomed me and hopefully the police will. Prosecute him and I will get justice

yes you were groomed

Not a good situation for you. You must learn to recognise the signs of a bad man and at 45 y/o you should by now know the signs which tell me you are maybe naive, but that still does not make it your fault.

Im afraid long gone are the days of the gentleman that you can trust. This is something beyond your control that you must learn to live with and mistrust is not something to go forward with in your life.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I intend to focus on myself and my studies

Good idea. I am sure a good man will come into your life one day.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I hope so I’m lonely

I know the feeling well.

Why are you training to be a nurse ?

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

Because I am caring compassionate honest and kind I am going into palliative nursing as I believe every dying person deserves the utmost care and compassion

At 45 that's very unusual to train in Nursing .

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

How old are you

Wow. Thats impressive. I think you are one very special woman.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

Thankyou do you have children? Mine are adults

I am 65 but a lot of the time I still think I am 25....

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

Lol me too I’m told I look in my thirties

I have done Judo all my life so I am still very fit and active and still do loads of cycling.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

Oh right what is your first name? Mine is victoria

I was married to an alcoholic for 25 years. I thought it best to NOT have children. The wife was hard work and very sick all the time with drink. I loved her very much but in the end I had to divorce her. It broke my heart.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

That is sad it must of been a hard decision for you? I’ve been single for 10 years now lately I have wanted to share my life with someone and be in a loving relationship

I am Dave.

Please to meet you Victoria.

So you were married ?

Yes but, don't we all want to be in a loving relationship ? In an ideal world. I think those days are long gone. The old romantics...

Your situation makes me so sad for you. I feel helpless when I hear stories about women like yourself, what you have to endure.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I am too trusting and I fell for the compliments and flattery

daabren
daabren
in reply to Nikita1974

Sound like a real smooth character. But it does not make sense. Why would he do that to you ? Why. I don't understand, and maybe you don't either....

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

He said he had fallen in love with me and wanted me badly

Probably the worst place in the world for a single woman to live.

Why don't you live down the south of England, or Cardiff ?

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I’d love to move just never had the chance really

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I need to put this phone on charge I will message you back in an hour or so it has been lovely speaking to you

daabren
daabren
in reply to Nikita1974

I might be asleep.....but I will try and look out for you...

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

R u awake?

daabren
daabren
in reply to Nikita1974

In case I miss you, goodnight Victoria good chatting with you too.

Well I think now you have the chance. Moving would be the best thing for you. Make a new life for yourself in a place that is relatively safe.

Nikita1974
Nikita1974
in reply to daabren

I would love to

daabren
daabren
in reply to Nikita1974

Do it Victoria. Take this as an opportunity to do something positive in your life. Have a bottle of wine, get drunk then get up and go from Liverpool.

There you are I have sorted your life out for you.....Lol

Sorry I missed you last night, I fell asleep. I hope you are feeling ok today. Small steps.

Hi,

There are a few replies regarding your risk of pregnancy on this thread. Some of them are inaccurate, below I’ve copied recent advice from the faculty of sexual and reproductive health who make the UK contraception guidelines.

I see you are from Liverpool so also added the local rape and sexual assault support organisation web-address, really worth contacting them if you are struggling:

rasamerseyside.org/

IUD advice

IUD (copper coil)

If you were aged 40 or over at insertion:

ANY copper IUD can be retained until after the menopause (2 years after your last period if you were under 50 when you had your last period, or 1 year after your last period if you were 50 or older when you had your last period).

It doesn’t matter whether it is a 5 or 10 year device.

If you were aged under 40 at insertion:

10 year devices can be left for 12 years, you should use additional precautions after this time

5 year devices - additional precautions required after 5 years

10 year devices in the UK are: TSafe380A, TSafe380QL, TT380Slimline

All other UK devices have a 5 year licence, including the Nova T 380, Mini TT380 Slimline & GyneFix

If you are not certain whether it is a 5 or 10 year device, please contact whoever inserted it, or if this is not possible, err on the side of caution and use extra precautions after 5

Thankyou

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