Genital Herpes: Hi, I'm only 23 years old and i was... - BASHH


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Genital Herpes

Shannon22 profile image
21 Replies

Hi, I'm only 23 years old and i was diagnosed with having Genital Herpes 3 days ago and i'm having my first outbreak and I have never been in so much pain in my life! I was given Achlivor anitibotics and painkillers and I'm wondering if anyone else is on those antibiotics and how long it took for it to clear up? I get an awful sting when I pee and I am so scared to pee now! Tried salt baths yesterday aswell and I don't think they are helping! Was told putting vaseline on the sores can help?! Does anybody have any other things i could try or can give me an idea on how long it will be for it to clear up? Also, had to tell the guy I have been seeing for the past 8/9 months and he is the only person I have been with but he says he doesn't have it! He was in Thailand in May this year and had unprotected sex with alot of women but he got tests done when he came back which were all clear.. but i've read somewhere that they can't tell if you have Herpes unless you have an outbreak/symptoms.. could he have gave me it eventhough he hasn'5 had any symptoms?! He is going to get tested again this week but he is not sure if he wants to continue seeing me or not! I'm not really dealing with this well as how are you suppose to find a relationship when you have this?! Everyday i cry at least 3/4 times! Any help or advice would be much appreciated!

21 Replies
micks89 profile image

First of all shannon22 he slept with loads of women in may this year yet you's have been together 8/9 months does that mean he's cheated if so get rid and yes your right it cannot be confirmed unless there's an outbreak! I know this because I was diagnosed about 4 months ago my first outbreak was awful I couldn't walk or sit down without it hurting so much but since then ive had one outbreak and it cleared with no medication after about 3 days and it wasn't painful I just couldn't have any fun with my partner. I've been with him 2 years this month and thankfully he's accepted this. I can't believe now your partner is not sure if he wants to be with you 😡 hope this helps. Hang in there it gets easier! Also no bubble baths or any scented things to wash in don't do it stay away xx

Shannon22 profile image
Shannon22 in reply to micks89

Yeah we were not really as serious as we are now when he went to Thailand so i wasn't bothered about him sleeping with other women there as log as got completely checked when he came back, which he did and it came back all clear, he said since then he hasn'5 slept with anyone else and i haven't been with anyone since i first slept with him! So im totally to see where i have got herpes from! Yeah he said he is going try and get checked and im waiting on results coming back from a urine samply and swab tests so he said he doesn't know what to do until we get results back.. which to me means if i've got herpes but he's clean then we're over :( since the day i got told i had this, ive cried uncontrollably every day! one because i've got this nasty thing and two because i could lose the person i genuinely like and care about because of it! pain is slowly getting a bit better but just want it completely gone! I'm kind of hoping and praying my results come back and say its something else but realisticly i think i've got herpes and i'll just need to try and deal with it! Thanks for responding :) xx

Zz1977 profile image
Zz1977 in reply to Shannon22

Herpes can lie dormant for years before you get an out break, I split up with my partner and it was until about 2 years later that I found out I'd got them. Stress can trigger an episode. I've been on aciclovir for the past year and its helped me gain my life back. X

Shannon22 profile image
Shannon22 in reply to Zz1977

I split up with my ex a year ago and i only had unprotected sex with him and the guy im seeing now, so surely it must be from one of them? I got a urine sample result back today and it was normal, could this be on my way to maybe not having herpes? I jusg need to wait a couple days to find out my swab results! I'm preparing myself for the worst but also praying it's something else I have and not herpes! I am on the same antibiotic as yourself and now after 3 days i finally feel a bit of relief when peeing and moving about etc! If worst case happens and i defineltey have herpes i hope i can stay strong and gain my life back as i won't have a boyfriend anymore either! So happy you have gained you're life back!😊 X

Cm71 profile image
Cm71 in reply to micks89

I had one sorelast week that lasted only 2-3 days. How long did you wait before you had sex with your partner again after your short outbreak?

Shannon22 profile image
Shannon22 in reply to Cm71

I didn't have a short outbreak.. mines lasted up to 3 weeks! So think it was a couple of days after that which it totally cleared up (like the sores) and i had sex!

Faithhh profile image

Hi I went through the exact same thing in the summer. It was so painful and swollen. The medicine does help takes about 5/6 days for the sores to clear up. Salt baths were the only way I could piss. I had to take off a week from work because I was embrassed and depressed I couldn't walk or close my legs after the pain. My husband said he had never got them too. But with herpes you can never know if you hold the disease unless you have an outbreak so he might be on of the lucky ones who just carry it and it reacted badly with your body.

You could trying pissing sitting backwards not sure how much that will help but that is was my doctor suggested. It didn't work for me.

Read my post.

Good luck and take it easy.

Belle385 profile image

Hi Shannon, you've already had some good replies so mine not really needed but my heart really went out to you reading your post. I was 30 when I had my first outbreak and it was horrendous. The flu symptoms make you feel like shit, the sores bloody painful &I remember feeling pretty disgusted about myself and cried a lot too!!! I put wet cold tea bags on the sores which helped to soothe it a little. But the biggest thing is just remembering it will start to get better, I think it took a couple weeks for it to really clear. I had a 2nd outbreak a year later which was hardly anything at all - no meds or anything needed. And then maybe 1 or 2 minimal ones in the 3 years since. The fact I'm not sure shows that nothing is gonna be as bad as this first!! As for who you got it from, you can have an educated guess but it's hard to really prove. I agonised over it (as had symptoms 5years prior but test came back negative at the time) before realising that it wasn't worth wasting my energy... it is what it is. A lot of people carry the virus without realising and might never show symptoms even tho they can pass it on. And theres no point getting tested unless you have symptoms. Reality is if u have sex there's a high chance u can catch it. As for your guy, fact he's wavering based on this says more about him than u. I've had one guy freak out (goodbye!!) and others be totally cool about it. Thing to remember is that it's the same Virus as cold sores which half the population have (don't quote me on that). And same family as chicken pox and shingles. It's just a virus, albeit a fucking horrendous one at its worst, but a virus all the same. And thankfully one that isn't gonna affect fertility or anything like that. My partner of 2 years was amazing about it when I told him &its not affected our r/ship. There are people out there who wont let this colour how they see you or what you have together. Give yourself some time and surround yourself by people who can give you a little extra tlc at the mo. Hope symptoms clear up &you feel better about it soon 😊

Hidden1234 profile image
Hidden1234 in reply to Belle385

Hi. I'm in the same boat - it's my first outbreak currently, me & my boyfriend have both been loyal but I think his cold sores may have passed it to type two during oral sex. I am devastated, how does it get better with your partner? I'm worried about our sex life, he's being so so supportive but I'm worried (ofcourse!!). Is it a case of condoms from now on? I feel like I can't get intimate because I fear giving it to him. He admits it's probably his fault I got it and he doesn't mind getting it but it isn't something you want to have over your relationship?!

Shannon22 profile image
Shannon22 in reply to Hidden1234

He's being kind of supportive but we haven't really spoke about whether we are going to continue seeing each other or not! He told me he is not going to use condoms even if it means he could get it! I've not done anything sexually yet as just now i'm only starting to clear up and to be honest i'm a little scared to have sex etc incase it causes another outbreak😞 It kind of gets me down aswell as i feel useless that we can't really do anything just now because i have this😢 X

Mandykl profile image
Mandykl in reply to Hidden1234

You can still have a healthy active sex life without passing it on to your partner . As far as I'm aware as long as there is no sores, there is no reason this will be passed on! You will be mindful now, so just check yourself and abstain if you think you have a sore, be mindful it will prob be small next time but you have an awareness now.

My first boyfriend gave me herpes when I was 16 I'm now 43, you can still have fun with your partner . To me the hardest part, apart from initially diagnosis is telling a partner, you don't have to do that.

All the best x

FHP123 profile image

HI lovely - yes so painful! Rest, painkillers, look after yourself, lots of sleep etc. Wee in the sink full of water. Salt baths. I also caught it off an utter snake probably about the same age as you 14 years ago!!

FHP123 profile image

PS - if he's not supporting you, that should send you a very strong message. You deserve much better.

FHP123 profile image

pps - when I caught it, my fella had what looked like a tiny scratch - it looked like nothing at all to be worried about. I think he did know he had it but didn't do the right thing.

Shannon22 profile image
Shannon22 in reply to FHP123

Hey FHP123 🙂 I'm pretty much cleared up now, thank the lord! But i'm seriously struggling to poo and its been 3 days now😭 I know it sounds minging but i feel like my bumhole is closed up and nothing can get out! Took tablets to help and hopefully give me the poops so it comes out but its not done the trick! Have no idea what to do now😩😩

FHP123 profile image
FHP123 in reply to Shannon22

Are you drinking enough water?

My trick is to drink 2 ltr of water a day, and in the morning I get up and don't eat for about 2-3 hours but I have lots of cups of herbal tea and a coffee - hot water and lemon is also very good. That usually sorts me out.

Strange question but are you dieting? I found that when I wasn't eating enough I didn't got to the toilet properly.

Also when I've been ill or had an operation that always causes problems.

And if I've eaten lots of unhealthy food. Is your food healthy enough?

MikaCakes profile image

So here's the thing, us girls can pick up herpes from toilet seats, baths, towels, sponges, soap bars, something you touched... You can even transfer it to yourself from a coldsore that you've touched on your mouth. I contracted it as a teenager while I was not sexually active. That made it particularly awful because I dont know where I got it from and did nothing irresponsible to get it! I'm 25 now and have had it for 8 years, with breakouts about 4 - 8 times a year (which is a lot, most don't get it that often).

It's a virus that spreads through contact and its extremely catchy, It can lie dormant for a long long time (years) and then suddenly appear when your immune system is low - so its near impossible to pin point where the infection came from. It's entirely possible he doesn't have it and you just got unlucky.

The plus side to this all is that it's extremely common, like literally half of the people you'll meet have it, and it gets less severe over time. Eventually a break out may just be an itchy tingle and barely hurt at all. When I met my current partner I told him out right, and he didn't care one bit. We've been together for 7 years now, always had unprotected sex and just never did it when i had a break out, and he still has not caught it.

Prevention is key from here on out. Keep yourself healthy and avoid high stress as any drop in immune system can trigger an outbreak. As soon as you feel a tingle or itch in the area you had the blisters, go to the doctor and get aciclovir prescribed - the sooner you catch it the faster it will go away. You can also use over the counter coldsore creams just make sure they have aciclovir in them. The perk of this method is there's no stigma against cold sores :p so you dont have to be embarrased buying the cream haha! :)

Missdespair profile image
Missdespair in reply to MikaCakes

I was told you can't get it from a toilet seat or towels or now I'm confused

Mandykl profile image

Hey, hopefully by now youve recovered from your initial outbreak. I just wanted to share my story and experience,

My first partner gave me herpes, I was 16 and pretty naive as wasn't sure what it was, I'm now 43.

I had the meds it took a while to go but never had another out break until I was 40!! It was like being diagnosed all over again all the emotions going through my head . Since then I have had recurrent outbreaks, this could be due to life pressures, bad diet I'm not sure but I'm currently on daily meds to keep it away. These outbreaks were minor and not painful just uncomfortable.

This is apparently so common but of course no one speaks about it so you don't know it's common. The easy part for me is recognising and having the meds, the hardest part is telling a partner, I've had to tell 3 people since splitting with my long term relationship (who I didn't tell, I made that decision after telling the first person and his reaction, I was with my partner for 9 years, and he never got it. I never had an outbreak whilst with him) I've been made to feel cheap and dirty, but I've realised that if they dont take it well they are uneducated, ignorant and may need some information for reassurance but if there are arseholes..... don't deserve you!!

You can still have an active sex life, you just need to be mindful and check yourself, if you feel something isn't right, abstain from sex and have the meds but it does clear up on its own. If getting regular, avoid shaving as this irritates the skin, use cold tea bags to soothe and wear cotton knickers.

I hope you can find some positive notes from my experience.

Take care x

People_98 profile image

But I thought you can get blood tested for herpes now....

Kaylahhh profile image

It's painful and telling the man is also painful I was diagnosed last year December and I had to tell my boyfriend at the time and surprisingly he stuck it out with me but the first outbreak is the WROST my first outbreak lasted about 2-3 weeks it can last up to 8weeks but I don't think it ever has with anyone I could be wrong but the pain medicine help but also warm water especially when I was at work I would get a cup or hot water and mix it with cold and pour it on your inner vagina while using the bathroom and it takes some pain away. But keep it dry it will help the sore bust and go away faster. I use to sleep with my heater on me down there but I'm sorry you going through this wish I had someone to talk too. Honestly you will become back to being yourself only hard part is having to tell your future partner.

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