Genital herpes

Hi, I was told last year I had genital herpes and have been in denial ever since. I'm currently having a breakout, Iv had a few since the first. Iv recently started dating a new partner I'm in very nervous and don't know how to bring up that I have this. I'm scared he will instantly reject me and I'm still feeling disgusted myself so who's to say he won't feel the same! I haven't told anyone about this and if I'm honest Iv only been to my gp who was helpful but didn't know a lot either!

14 Replies

  • Go see a doctor who will tell u the best treatment. I clearly understand ur fear, I would be too. Maybe u can try come up with some excuse from not having sex with him until u clear them up but if u have let him know, then u just have to

  • Hey, I've been with my boyfriend for almost three months now and he has herpes. When he first told me on whatsapp he was clearly nervous and I liked him a lot so wanted to make him feel comfortable and said it was fin- I also really appreciated his honesty in telling me. I'm sure if your partner feels the same, they'll be understanding. I have my moments of worrying about catching it but after speaking to a doctor at a gum clinic, I realised just how many people have it and don't know (I didn't realise before that it was possible to have herpes and spread it without experiencing symptoms), so even if I hadn't stayed with my boyfriend, I could have easily ended up sleeping with someone else who had it anyway. The doctor also said it's just a skin condition but due to it being an STI there's a stigma around it, which I think is a lot of the fear around it. I'd recommend speaking to a doctor at a gum clinic because they will be a lot more clued up than your GP. Definitely tell your partner before sleeping with them, but obviously do it when you're ready. Hope this is somewhat helpful! Also, are you a girl and if so, how are the breakouts for you? (painful/irritating?)

  • Thanks it is really helpful. Yes I'm a girl. My first breakout was horrendous! Beyond painful Iv had a couple since and only had one or two blisters which haven't been as painful more uncomfortable. I also get a burning sensation down the side of my leg often which the gp said could be connected but wasn't sure but I don't always get a breakout when I have the burning sensation. I'm just really afraid and unsure on how to bring up the subject of having it. It's really early days but I do really like him. How did your boyfriend tell you?

  • Thanks, that's helpful to know. He told me over whatsapp, first asking if I had a minute to talk and then saying something along the lines of I need to tell you I have this and I understand if you don't want to keep seeing me, but it's not as bad as you might think kinda thing. Tbh it's always going to be an awkward conversation but the guy you're seeing should be respectful and understanding when he responds or as cliche as it sounds, he's probably not worth it anyway. Hope it goes okay for you when you do decide to tell him!

  • Thank you so much! You have put my mind at ease about the whole thing! Hopefully he's the guy I think he is and will be understanding.

  • Hi... I know it's hard but don't keep beating yourself up over this... it's not your fault! I don't want to put a dampener on things regarding your do have to be honest with the other person and be prepared for them to possibly walk away. Hopefully he values you enough to realise that it doesn't mean he's going to get it, provided you are both careful. It's not disgusting and neither are you... it's life! You can get it from someone who has cold sores on the mouth in any stage. It doesn't mean you are 'dirty'.. you were unlucky, like the rest of us. It's a very common infection... if someone walks away, then they are only thinking of themselves.

    Keep a diary writing down when it starts, how long it lasts. it may coincide with your monthly cycle, stressful times, maybe even certain foods you eat. L-Lysine an amino acid food in food and supplement form can help to fight it... but l-arginine another amino acid promotes it. I take monoluarin daily, it's derived from coconut.. it does help although when I've been stressed and upset about things... it flares... strangely enough it's actually moved to near the base of my spine the last 2 times.... I think there is also a hydrogen peroxide protocol which might work for you as it's a recent infection... it didn't work for me possibly because I've had it for 40 years. Read up all you can about the herpes virus... millions of us carry it in one form or another. You can get a test to find out which type it is.

    I hope I've helped... good luckx

  • Is herpes deadly?..... What are the common goods rich in lysine and can one get monolaurine from the mall?

  • No... it's not deadly..just very unpleasant and unfortunately contagious. There are several different types of herpes virus.. chicken pox, cold sores, epstein- barr virus for example are all types of the virus, so it is very common. Ideally you need to find out which type you have, if it's a recent infection you might be to get something from your g.p. to knock it on the head..

    not sure about sourcing monolaurin where you are... but it can be obtained via the 'net.. it's not an illegal drug, it's derived from coconut... but just eating coconut oil won't work . It is a health supplement so maybe a shop which specialises in that kind of thing might sell it. Ideally make sure you don't go for 'cheap' as they tend to have lots of fillers. It's best to do a bit of reading up on it so you know what to look for and are aware of the pros and cons and pay attention to the dosage as initially it can make you feel wiped out. As for lysine / larginine the info is on the net. Hope that helps.

  • Thanks so much. Mine is genital herpes. And currently, I have an outbreak since 2days now. What can I do?

  • Dear STELLACATTON, Am sorry for this question am about to ask. , do you have herpes frequently during mensturation? Coz I have outbreak since two days now and I started menstruation today.

  • That seems to be par for the course for women... and it can also be stress related. Is this your first outbreak? Have you seen the doctor? They can prescribe meds for it which is normally aciclovir which will help to lessen the severity of it. As far as I'm aware there is no actual cure... Try something soothing like aloe vera gel.. don't pick it or burst the blisters that just spreads it. I know it's tempting because it itches so much - but try not too.

    You take care.

  • It's not my first outbreak...... But now my body is itching, on my tummy and redish. Am scared

  • Please dear, can I chat you on whatsapp, I feel relieved chatting with you. Please

  • I've recently told my partner and she is understanding and helps me through the break outs when I'm in pain and there was never no bad blood if he likes you he will stay with you if not than it's just pathetic and he needs to grow up

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