Feeling of being left out

[Rugby3]

I'm wondering is the thought of being left out or not there. It might be due to work commitments say! I feel so low and angry and sort of don't want them to have fun without me! Is this to do with my anxiety and depression or can it be linked to autism?

And also how can I flip it so I don't feel this way any suggestions?

[NotJim]

Hi Rugby3,

Sometimes we can feel resentful if we feel like we're being left out, which can be a mix of being low and angry; We can feel frustrated that we can't join in when others are out and are possibly having a good time.

You might be able to flip this by thinking about a compromise for yourself. For example., imaginary scenario: some people you know are going out for a day trip. You can't make it.

You could let this make you feel frustrated and angry. Or you could think of it as, well, they're out and about but I have this time at home, I can get what I need to get done sorted, and then maybe do something nice that you'd enjoy, whatever that may be.

I don't go out much but if I can't make an event or have to miss something, I try and make sure there's a nice alternative I can do at home instead, like making a nice meal or baking some treats, listening to music and doing a bit of something I enjoy.

And also, I would reason that it wouldn't be fair of me to feel annoyed at my friends because they're going out. They have every right to, and even if circumstances mean I can't make it this time, it means when we do all get together again, it'll be all the better for a great reunion.

I hope this helps

[Rugby3 in reply to NotJim]

Thank you yes you are right in saying that there of course are allowed to meet and have a good time without me! Like you say just need to flip my thinking so it's not so negative! I just don't seem to be able to control the low feeling not taking up the whole day and even days leading up to it!

[NotJim in reply to Rugby3]

Sometimes these things simply take practice. As you become more aware of how you're likely to respond to these sorts of things, you can find ways of helping you deal with the emotions that come up. Putting these coping methods to help you feel less negative into practice can be a challenge. There's never usually one magical trick that changes everything first time, and some times you might still find yourself frustrated or angry, but hey that's ok. It's like learning a new habit really. Sometimes it'll work, sometimes it won't, but the more you try, the easier it will be.