Bit lost

[shinysquirtle]

I’m 22M and have always felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb from the way I behaved, always trying to do my best to fit in or not be noticed. I overthink every interaction I have with others to the point where I’m not present in the interaction. I can’t handle when people tell me what to do even when I know that they know better than me. Often give up on a planned event or simple task for no reason just because it feels wrong. I get attached to people and get upset when I think that they might like someone more than me for no reason. I was able to drift through school with good grades and little effort but now find myself lost with no direction or motivation. Feel like I’ve been trying to fit in forever and don’t know if I have my own identity.

sorry to pile on a load of my behaviours but I’ve always just been ‘timid’ ‘anxious’ and I’m scared of what people might say if I were to suggest I might be autistic. I have a lot of concerns and knowing the answer would really give me a better understanding of myself, but I’m terrified to start this process of finding out.

I know there’s not a simple answer to make everything better but can anyone else relate? Should I see a gp?

[anymusic]

To get an evaluation might provide clarity and better understanding about yourself and your behaviors, as you say. Understanding your strengths and challenges can empower personal growth and development!

But I fully understand you hesitating. Living with an open question, or living with a definite answear? That is a huge to decide about. Anyway, you will be exactly the same person! Consider that, the answer is minor.

Take care of yourself!

[shinysquirtle in reply to anymusic]

Thank you for your reply. I think I’ll try getting an answer. You’ve helped me see the situation from a different perspective and calm down a bit, I really appreciate it!

[anymusic in reply to shinysquirtle]

My experience is that anything you do in life, write in forum, evaluation, therapy etc, helps in the process of developing! A formal diagnosis is not the only thing, but might needed for the right support and understanding.

To resist might gives a feeling of being stuck!