Where to begin.....On Friday morning I heard that my house buyer had withdrawn their offer and pulled out. At the same time I was told another potential buyer had made an offer which I was happy to accept😊. Still on Friday morning I had an email from Rightmove with a new offering - this time one that would be just right for me😊. Also Friday morning - my daughter arrived to take me for my hospital appointment. I was due to have a dexa scan before starting treatment with Tamoxifen but it was not to be. Having done more tests on the biopsy sample they found I also have another type of cancer - one which won't respond to Tamoxifen so now I'll be having a lumpectomy on the 9th Sept, followed by a different tablet treatment, then later - once the scars have healed there'll be three weeks of daily radiotherapy. My daughter was visibly shaken by this news and trying so hard not to show it, not sure how I felt - a bit numb, I think. It's difficult getting used to something that you don't want to think about but I'm getting there. Still on Friday, having returned home we took another look at the house details - aside from it being exactly what I'd been looking for, the added attraction is that it's near to my daughter's house.
(This next bit will sound completely mad but - as we're living in a mad world, I decided to go with the flow).
My daughter suggested we book a viewing for the following day then said, when Geoff came home for the weekend we could go and stay with her overnight. I agreed - thinking 'how can I commit to buying a house now' - also thought she's only trying to do 'something' to help, so an appointment was made for 9am the following day. At 8.55 the next morning we walked to a house just four doors from my daughters house, it was - is, just what I've been looking for so after returning to my daughters we phoned the agent and I put in an offer which was accepted😃. I've never had such a mad weekend - I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel, I love the thought of moving into the new house with fields and woods on two sides of a more manageable garden. Hate the thought that I might not make it, and don't really want any thoughts of what's to come re treatments. After the pre op' examination on Friday, I found the rather graphic details of the effects and 'possible' effects quite daunting. However, I remind myself - it's a day procedure so only a minor op', the consequences aren't likely to be pleasant but the consequences of not having it would be far worse. So - providing the pre op' blood samples and test results are ok it will go ahead as planned.
Haven't told Geoff yet - it would be difficult at the best of times but recently a few of his friends have lost friends or relatives to cancer, and today he found out that his girlfriend's cousin has now died from it. There doesn't doesn't seem to be a right moment to say anything but I'll have to find one by next weekend.
Sorry if this is depressing, it isn't meant to be and I'm not feeling depressed - a bit anxious, very hopeful and more than a bit frustrated by the fly in the ointment just as everything to do with selling and moving house, was coming together. Anyway - just letting you know, I'm still on the roller coaster - it's still rolling and I'm still hanging on. xx
Written by
Magpuss
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
There's so much going on for you right now. I'm really sorry to know you didn't get better news, I hope the procedure and treatment go as well as that kind of thing can. I'll be thinking of you. But great news about the house buying and selling. Wow it really is a roller coaster! Keep on hanging on 💐
What a time of it. On one hand so very good that you have sold your house (my mum has been trying for ages to no avail). And added bonus you found the perfect place and even bigger bonus near your daughter's. 😁😃
Your recent diagnosis is indeed awful and a terrible shock for you and everyone. Your son will be very upset, but in time he will come round and you all will rally together to get you through this very rough time. I am a great believer in things falling into place at the right time. And I think that you finding such a wonderful house with such scenic surroundings will help you recuperate during your treatment. Being near your daughter will give you the added support you will need. So finding this house now is no coincidence. It is meant to be.
Please know we all are here for you, rooting for you and thinking of you. Sending loads of love and hugs,
Thank you Cas, I read you post earlier but my head was a bit too muddled to make a sensible reply I'm afraid - but, WOW you looked amazing in your photo - and your post was really inspiring. I shall keep you in mind if I start to feel sorry for myself, and if I start to think I can't do this - I'm sure it will help. I hope your Mum has better luck selling her house very soon, it's a frustrating time when it goes on for too long. Glad to hear that you're taking good care of yourself and not in any rush to do more than get well. Wishing you - and Chom well, bet his tails not stopped wagging since you got home. xx🐕💐
Well my dear Magpuss,you never do anything in half measures do you and often it's more complex than any cryptic puzzles i have ever tried to complete.
I still feel positive about your treatment plan and although you will have to undergo the unpleasantness of the lumpectomy and the maddening inconvenience of radiotherapy i still feel that somehow you will cope with that far better than alternative cocktails of chemo type poisoning agents,i am not in anyway saying it will be pleasant but at the end of the day i feel sure they will fix you for good with the most positive outcome.
Your new house will be wonderful and the convenience of it being so close to your daughter will be more than money could buy,as for Geoff you have been such a loving Mum to him and he will always manage with your loving care in his life,
Bless you what a up and down time your having. Hope you don't mind me chipping in here but I saw your post and felt the need to reply. We are So lucky to have family as lots don't so go live near daughter I'm sure she will feel better keeping you near too. .
Thank you Ski's, as someone who lives a quiet live I do seem to have a lot going on at the moment. I'm taking things as they come and trying not to overthink any of it, it will either work or it won't, either way - there's nowt I can do about it except - do as I'm told and hang on in there. At the moment I'm just hoping they don't call me tomorrow - if they do it may mean chemo is the only option, perish the thought😖. But - at least I can daydream about the new house. I'm hoping to post pic's of the view that will make you all green with envy, it's so nice😄.
I can't wait to go green and i am so happy about the house,you are a lovely person and you deserve the best that life can offer you and i eagerly await the view of your new paradise and i reckon geoff will love it too. xx
Ohh dear magpuss I’m so sorry to hear your news , you really have a lot to deal with and if it were me I’d have a meltdown . You really are so strong and I’m sure you’ll find the right time to tell your son your news I don’t know how I would get around to telling my children that type of news because they really worry about me because I have Copd and google it and still say youv only got 5 years to live with Copd. I share some stories with them from here trying to re assure them and to stop googling it . But of course your in a much worse position. I’ll keep you in my prayers and I’ll be thinking of you and hope you can stay strong but I do think youv every right to feel sorry for yourself youv got s difficult time ahead of you. As for the house move what great news 😃 to be so close to your daughter your so lucky and the house and it’s surroundings sounds just great. I wish you all the best of luck and I’ll by thinking of you the day your due your surgery. You really don’t need to be strong all the time so just let your feelings go as youv so much stress. All the very best to you and again I’m sorry to hear your news sending big ((((hugs)))) 🥰 🌹🌹
Thank you Shazrab, i have to admit that when it comes to telling my two younger 'children' (now 52 & 54😯) news of any kind, I tend not to hesitate. If I did it would be going round and round in my head making it harder to know where to begin, whether I should say this, or that and then waiting for the right moment. With Geoff - my eldest, it's a bit different, he has CP, and his learning difficulties make it harder for him to deal with things. Finding the right moment is key, so it's unfortunate that some of his friends have lost relatives and friends to cancer so recently. It will make it harder for him to keep things in perspective right now. But, I've shown him the online details and photographs of the new house and he's seen it from the outside - (it would have been awkward asking to take him inside with his walking frame especially if it meant the owner having to move furniture around for him) and he likes what he's seen very much, so we'll be talking about that as well and hopefully it will help. There's an unexpected advantage to having so much going on at once - I've not got time to dwell on anything for too long, it's enough just trying to keep up. Every cloud..........as they say😊
Hi magpuss my son also has cp so I really understand more now in how your finding the right moment to tell him . My son will be 30 in November, if I cough a lot when he’s here he wants me to go to hospital he’s so very sensitive about bad news much more than our other children. Iv always got to find the right time to tell him anything he’s a very sensitive boy , I suppose all our children worry about us but it’s just a little harder when he has learning difficulties. Good luck once again take care 🌸🌸
I hope that all goes well for you both with your forthcoming surgery and post op treatment. Best wishes too for the move to a what sounds to be an ideal new home.
@Magpuss, I don't know what to say other than I'm wishing with all my heart the best for you. I could not imagine going through such a housing ordeal on top of everything else.
Thank you. My daughter calls the housing ordeal - 'an adventure' and I have an excellent estate agent who's been very helpful throughout and (now, knowing my situation) does all that he can to avoid bothering me unnecessarily. So - so far, it's been remarkably stress free. Never thought I'd say that, not when 'the thought of selling' used to keep me awake at night.😊
You have an amazing opportunity there for that new house 4 doors away from your daughter it sounds ideal and just what you need to focus on to get you through the other side of of what else is going on around and happening to you at the same time.
It's a change of treatment for you and even though it's hard to reckon with I think you will come round the corner on this one and up over the top of the hill in no time at all .
Keep staying the positive person you are what's for you isn't going to pass you by and kick its backside back to where it came from
Yes, having something good to focus on is a good thing especially since I have a buyer. I wouldn't want to be thinking about having to move out if I hadn't found anywhere I wanted to move 'to'. So maybe not so mad after all.🙂
Magpuss my heart goes out to you, you do seem so strong and focused even though things have gone wrong. As you say there is nothing you can do but just get on with it.
I am glad that you had another buyer and the new house is just what you want so hope this all goes through smoothly.
Hoping all goes well on both scores and a you have a good recovery. Let us know how it all goes. Xxx
Wow, you are juggling an awful lot at the moment. I just wanted to wish you well with the treatment and the house. Years ago when I had my diagnosis of cancer, the worst part was telling the family and my close friends. After the initial shock we just got on with it. Once you are on that rollercoaster all you can do is hold on tight. Good luck with it all.
Gosh that was an exhausting read Magpuss- I hope all goes well for your lumpectomy and radiation treatments which sounds better than chemo to me.
Your new house sounds just perfect. Wonderful place to be with all that nature around you and serenity. Be positive and take each day as they come. Take care. Anita x
Hang on in there Magpuss, your in for one hell of a ride but I’m really really praying things work out well for you. You will move into that lovely house, close to your daughter, never give up on that.
Hello Magpuss, Such encouraging news about your house sale and move, Sorry to hear about your illness. Try to stay Strong and stay focusing on the future, in your new home closer to your daughter. Thoughts are with you BRIAN
Bless you Magpuss. On the contrary, there are lots of positives. You h e an amazing daughter by your side there, they're moving fast with the treatment (my friend had the same almost 2 years ago, with radiotherapy only and recovered really well), you're rid of unreliable buyers and already have more offers (take the best one for you) and you've the perfect property to look forward to.
Yoy seem a vert strong person, so im thinking of you and wish you the very best for the next few weeks. I sincerely hope all goes smoothly for you and yours.
I totally empathise with you. You have to keep positive and optimistic about the future. Your house move is a blessing in disguise and should keep your mind busy and distracted, away from your diagnosis. Eventually, all those fearful thoughts should subside as your subconscious aclimatises and accepts the diagnosis, all whilst keeping busy with your house move. Your conscious mind will then be a lot calmer too. Remember that your medical team are the people that has the worry of your care, not you. I am sure that you are a mentally strong person, will cope just fine and like me, be amazed at just how mentally strong you actually are.
I've been thinking of how things have worked out for you, news of good results is always a big help. After my last op' the thing that amazed me the most was how quickly and how well my body healed without me having to consciously do anything to help other than eat a bit, stretch and move a bit and sleep a lot. This is a far smaller op' so I'm less concerned about that - it's mainly the effects of the follow up treatment that I'm rather apprehensive about but I know there's no point in worrying over it. Your comment about the medical team being responsible for my care rang a bell - before my last op', it occurred to me that as I wasn't the one doing the op', I didn't have to worry about any of that, all I had to do was have a lovely long sleep. Didn't give much thought to the possibility that I might not wake up - other than, if I didn't I'd literally have nothing to worry about and if I did - I'd know that I'd been worrying for nothing. Funny how those things come to mind when they're most needed.
Don't worry to much stress is the worst thing for cancer.jan 2017 found out I had a rare form of breast cancer just as my husband had become very I'll. Had surgery 2 wks later at follow up more cancer like you found. More surgery followed by tablet treatment as you but different one because of my age.followed later by 5 wks radium treatment(and it's not as bad as you think.) On tablets for 5 yrs and every 6months on a bio phosphate drip to try to prevent spread to bones. Aug last year found out I had a very rare form of cancer of the ear more surgery and have to be followed up every 3 months by hospital as cancer so rare.but almost 3yrs later here I am just got back from holiday in Wales with husband who also survived and is much improved doing archery bowls curling etc.treatment now is so much improved so believe and look forward to your new home and many years to enjoy it.x
My word, sounds like you've had more than your fair share of cancer. There's a possibility that a mastectomy may follow if the lumpectomy doesn't bring about the desired effect but there's no reason to think that it won't. I presume this is what you had? My age is a factor too, (I had my eightieth birthday just a couple of weeks ago - just to add to 'the goings on'😄) so I believe that will have some bearing on the type of treatment that follows. Having followed 2grey's progress, I was surprised at how well he seemed to tolerate radiotherapy, so for you to say 'it's not as bad as you think', is doubly reassuring. I know we all react differently but it's good to have the positive side accentuated. It's also good to hear that you and your husband are doing so well and are able to enjoy life and take part in so many activities. I'm planning my new garden, might have to enlist my grandsons for anything I can't manage 'to start with' but - they'll be just down the road, instead of a 50 minute drive away.xx
yes when I had to have 2nd surgery they did say they might have to do mastectomy I wasn't too bothered as also in my seventies.I'm a bit lobsided but it doesn't bother me. yes radiotherapy was pretty much ok but tiring every day they will give you cream to use. but home each day to do my husbands tea. and you are literally only a few minutes radium bombarded each time.good luck xx
Thank you - lumpectomy scars are healing well but I have a uti that's proving difficult to clear. I'm now on the third lot of antibiotics although I can't help thinking that if I'd been given enough of them earlier on they probably would have cleared it. One two day course of three tablets made a big difference, as did a five day course of four tablets daily - they just didn't have a lasting effect so now I have a seven day course of the same. Maybe they should have started with the longer course, it might have saved the NHS a bit of money, themselves a bit of time and me a great deal of discomfort. Ah well.......at least this time they've sent a urine sample off for culture testing so I guess that's progress of some sort.x
I have also had same problem recurring uti within days of finishing antibiotics. now all persons over 65 should be given a minimum of seven days nice quidelines. my last course was for ten days.your Dr should have sent off sample straight away.hope it clears soon it's a horrible infection to put up with.xx
Our house has fallen through too, so pleased you’ve sold again,
As a breast cancer survivor I know the shock and fear, but you will be fine. The surgery will be minor, ( not to you!), and you’ll be sore for a few days, and radiotherapy makes you a bit more tired, but there’s no discomfort at all! As you don’t need chemo, it sounds like a low grade tumour, and an excellent prognosis. I had a very wide selection excision and all my nodes cleared, and it still wasn’t too bad!! Given two years to live and that was 21 years ago!! Once you get over the shock, it’s fine. I would tell your folks, but paint a picture of treatment, medication, then on with normal life! Big hug!
It's frustrating when you've accepted an offer and started making plans - I hope you'll soon find another buyer.
21 yrs - wow! they underestimated you, didn't they😁. I'll be having up to four nodes removed, I'm told they don't like to take more than that now unless they have to. Did you have drains fitted, I'll have two which will need emptying each day. I'm just wondering if that's awkward to do? Thank you xx
Yes I had drains too, but I nursed for 30+ years so I was used to them. You only have to close off one clamp nearest the incision, unclamp the lower one, then squeeze the drainage out, then reclamp the lower one and unclamped nearest the wound again, don’t worry, it’s easy. Keep in touch or email on marlenebrace@btinternet.com
Wishing you all the very best. You're staying positive, which is great, and its fantastic news about your new home -just what you need - and you WILL enjoy living there xx
Well Magpuss I am a great believer in fate and think you were intended to live in this house and I am sure you will be very happy there for however long. It maybe that you will need your daughter more and will be so glad you have her near to you and I am sure she will be overjoyed to have you close. The fact that it will be easier to manage is another great plus, you will have your hands full dealing with treatmemt. We are all here for you and am sending gentle hugs and think you have the postive strength to deal with this. Please keep us updated my cosmic vibes are on the way x
Thank you - window open ready to welcome vibes but only if they really are cosmic😉😄. Yes it will be lovely having family close by xx
Well hun you seem to be on top of it maybe secretly hiding your feelings of the unknown I found myself thinking what a positive woman I wish u all the luck in the world and luck with your house move I'm having tests for uretine cancer next mon so maybe we will both be given the news we hope for u sound a amazing woman with a loving family so keep that positivity going 😊
Thank you, I'm trying to sort my feelings out rather than hide them, they're a bit mixed up at the moment but I expect your's are pretty much the same. I hope your tests go well and the results are good. Fingers crossed for us both on Monday 👍😊.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
How do I cope now?
Stating the obvious...
IM SO SICK OF THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER 
