Second Child

[WonderWomanUK]

Hi everyone,

Is there anyone on here that has had more than one child after PPP? I have always wanted 2 children but not sure I could go through this all again. Would love to hear from people that have or have not had more children.

Thanks

[yougotthis1 Volunteer]

Hi WonderWomanUK ,

I’m in exactly the same boat, feel very torn about whether to try for a second child.

I know there are lots of supporters on here that have gone on to have more children after PP.

If you search in the HealthUnlocked search bar for “more children” for more children there are some existing posts that you might find helpful.

X

[WonderWomanUK in reply to yougotthis1]

It’s so difficult isn’t it! Thanks for the recommendation x

[Irishgirl1710 Volunteer]

Hello WonderWoman

I had pp in 2019, and gave birth to my second child in July 2023. I did not experience psychosis after having my second child. I chose not to take medication during my pregnancy and opted for a planned induction. I also gave birth in a hospital with a Mother and Baby Unit.

Happy to answer any further questions. It's not an easy thing to decide.

Irishgirl

[WonderWomanUK in reply to Irishgirl1710]

This is great to hear thank you!

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi WonderWomanUK and yougotthis1, it is a very difficult decision to arrive to and all so personal because of it. I am one of the mums who went on to have another baby after pp, and while pp did not repeat depression did struck when I was 2 months Postpartum. On the one hand, having had a previous depression after having pp with my first, I knew it was possible to come the other side of it. There is power in knowledge. I also spotted early warning signs that my mood was dipping, and that was probably helped by being on the alert for pp, and also in no small part to the care and support from the perinatal team following me. I was treated at home for the depression with therapy and medication.

I think it is so important what you mention in your post, WonderWomanUK, how you would like to hear from people who went on to have more children and who didn't. I think it is important to offer a balance view on this, certainly no size fits all. And talking sincerely from the point of view of a mum of 2, the dedication you can give when you are a mum of 1 is beautiful, and not mentioned enough.

I wish you both all the best in your soul searching, do reach out here as there are many kindred souls who will be happy to share on their own experiences. Take good care,

Maria

[WonderWomanUK in reply to Maria_at_APP]

Thanks for your reply Maria

[NMG1991]

Hi WonderWomanUK,

I just wanted to write to say I'm in the same predicament. I always wanted two children and always said I would have one after the other whilst I was pregnant with my little Boy as I wanted them close in age. Unfortunately, when I got PP that all changed. The whole experience scared me so much and the thought of going through that again plays on my mind almost non stop. It was the worst thing I've ever gone through. I think I have a bit of PTSD from the whole ordeal.

I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in your worry and I think the fact we have a 50% chance of getting it again is very high chances although I've heard from a few people who never got it again so that's really promising. X

[WonderWomanUK in reply to NMG1991]

Lovely to hear I’m not the only one, thank you

[Redtap Volunteer]

Hi Wonder woman UK,

It's not an easy decision to make and will ultimately come down to how badly you want a second child and how much you and your partner are willing to risk. I would definitely suggest speaking to the mental health team who looked after you when you were unwell to get a proper idea of how at risk of relapse they think you might be when having another child.

I was told my risk was 85% but that this could be reduced by taking medication either in late pregnancy or on the day of the birth and by not doing any of the night time feeds for a certain number of months afterwards. I can't remember how long it was now as it was a long time ago. I think the risk reduced down to 15% but again I can't be sure of that given how long ago this all was, about 18years ago.

What it came down to in the end, for me, was that I desperately wanted another baby. My husband was very supportive the first time round and was willing to go for it again. He thought I was really brave taking the risk but I thought he was as he would be the one sorting everything out if things went south.

Long story short I remained well and having another baby meant I got to have all the new baby moments I had missed out on with my first. It ended up being a very healing experience for me.

Getting an idea of what your risks and options are can help you look at this more clearly and make a decision on it. I too wanted my children to be close in age but you have to work with what you have. My children are 3.5 years apart in age.

If you decide to go ahead I would say prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If after looking at all your options you and your partner decide not to go ahead at least you will have made an informed decision.

I wish you all the best of luck in making this decision. Xxx

[WonderWomanUK in reply to Redtap]

Thanks so much for your reply, glad you had great support

[Survivedwithcolor]

I really appreciate Redtap’s response above that if you’re really really wanting to do it, there’s not 100% reason not to have one. I did not get PP until my second, so I already had 2 and was happy with that. My girls are grown now and very close. The older one always wanted a sibling and they love each other dearly.

If you think that you definitely do want another, first of all make sure you give yourself some time after the first and are totally well yourself. If you go into it having problems, your risk of repeat PP is very high. Ask yourself what resources you have if the situation doesn’t go your way; for instance do you have access to care with baby, do you have family, do you have the finances to cover extra help if you should need it? If you’re not in a good place for obtaining extra help and care, that could place a great strain on everyone and it might be wiser to be cautious. If you’ve got a good situation, then prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

The other thing I’m wondering is, would you consider adoption? No risk to your health and you could still have another child to love. Having worked around kids for many years myself I know I could absolutely have loved a non-biological child as my own. Give it some thought and best wishes with whatever you decide.

[WonderWomanUK in reply to Survivedwithcolor]

Thank you for your reply! Yes adoption is always another option to consider

[Antitodo]

Hi WonderWomanUK,

I just thought it might help to know the risk of relapse is probably closer to 30% than the 50% most of us hear about from professionals.

In case that makes you feel more optimistic.

Source: doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.20...

[WonderWomanUK in reply to Antitodo]

That’s good to know thank you

[Rkmummy Volunteer]

hello WonderWomanUk

I had pp with my first child in 2016 and went on to have another child in 2020. It was a tough decision for both me and my husband as we’d both originally said we’d wanted two children, but with everything we went through it was hard to decide whether to risk it again.

I asked my gp to be referred for preconception counselling when we were thinking about trying for a second child. It gave me a meeting with a perinatal doctor who went through everything that would happen if I got pregnant/gave birth etc. (the pandemic did change what was originally said!) maybe this is something your gp could refer you to? I know it helped to relieve some of the worries we had.

Fortunately I did not become unwell with my second child, and even in a pandemic I was seen frequently after I gave birth and was well supported.

Good luck

RK

[WonderWomanUK in reply to Rkmummy]

That’s great to hear thank you. Congratulations

[HelenMW Volunteer]

hello Wonder Woman,

I had PP in 1988 and went on to have two more girls without experiencing PP in 1996 and 1999. I did as much research as I could with regard to the medication offered during the post natal period and I had a very strong support plan in that my Mum moved in for two weeks once I had given birth. I opted for epidurals to avoid a difficult labour. I would have to add that my circumstances and situations were very different second and third time. Both were extremely positive!

I hope this in any way helpful to you. First time round I was under a lot of stress and had absolutely no sleep so these were the major differences second and third time .

Warm wishes, Helen x

[WonderWomanUK in reply to HelenMW]

Lovely news, thanks for sharing x

[MotherOfBears]

I compety understand it is a difficult decision. Whatever you decide, I do think it is really valuable to work with a therapist you feel comfortable with, to talk it through and weigh up your options. It is definitely worth talking with your local team about the support they can offer you. For example, I was offered a prophylactic 2 week stay immediately after birth in a local MBU, so they could monitor and support.

I had an MBU stay after the birth of my first son, but with severe anxiety rather than PPP. It was after my second was born that I had PPP.

What I’m about to say is absolutely brutal. But I do sometimes regret having my second. Which is a very difficult emotion to hold along side loving him dearly. For me I’m still in recovery having had depression for 15months now. For me the psychosis wasn’t the worst bit, it has been the depression.

The decision must feel huge, best of luck and hope you find a way through it xxx

[WonderWomanUK]

thanks for your honest message x