Hi everyone thank you all for your posts. I have found them all very supportive and useful. I have found myself quiet busy with appointments so unable to reply to them all. But i wanted to update everyone.
Im due 14th March so just under 7 weeks to go. Trying to remain relaxed and not panic about what i have or havent got. Of course making sure taking my medication every night and trying to sleep well even though disrupted by toilet visits!!
Other than seeing my midwifes, care co ordinator and phychiatrist i also see a Phycologist/Therapist once a week to talk about my worries. The lady is lovely and really good and i find these sessions really helpful. She is part of the oxleas early intervention team which iam under. She has put something together for me on paper that i want to share with you all. As you may top expecting another baby or not may find helpful.
It is headed 'MY Managing Worry about birth plan'
What to expect:
* High after giving birth
*tired, difficult to sleep
*not feeling the need to sleep
*pressure of speech
So all of the above are examples of how i might feel after goving birth. We went through them all and discussed whats normal and when might i recognise when i would need to seek help i.e racing thought,paranoia.
What i want to remember:
*Lots of these feelings are very normal after giving birth
*Its normal to worry but try to catch my worries from spiralling out and from thinking thr worst e.g reminding myself that having one bad night sleep does not necessarily mean becoming unwell again.
*If iam concerened about how i feel, let someone know (my mum/partner/CPN) - Trust and share someone eles with the worries
*Practise balanced thoughts to challange my worst case scenarios e.g 'im going to end up in the Mother and baby unit and be seperated from my son' VS 'If this does happen, my mum will bring him up everyday, i can take him out on leave and i will be doing the best possible thing to tale care of myself and for my son and baby. Try writing down my worries so i can do this.
*Continuing practising my relaxation exercises: use it to be mindful of my thoughts and how iam feeling in my body
*Be kind to myself rather than critical: what would a mum from the forum say to me? What advice would i give to a friend in the same position?
*Remind myself iam in a very different position now to 2 years ago
Whats different this time from my last birth experience:
*I know what Phychosis is and what sogns to look for
*Iam prepared and have a detailed plan for post birth this time; going home to mums for extra support, can review medication with team quickly if needed
*I have a team involved, will be seen regularly by CCO and doctors
*Im on medication now: which will act as a buffer
*Those around me e.g mum,partner,sister know about phychosis and what to look for
As i said these sessions have been really helpful for me to detress and get everything off my chest. Ive discussed that people telling you 'not to worry' infact actually doesnt really help as you cant help but worry although someone who doesnt know about your experiemce very well may not know the right things to say. I have found it easier to accept and expect that i MAY become unwell again and if i do inhabe professionals around me that know my history and medication and care can be reviwed and put in place quickly. Im being hopeful that if i do become unwell again then i should recover alot sooner than before. Im still very anxious but trying to stay positive and look forward to my new addition to my family. I hope sharing these points have been useful for you all. Perhaps use it as a guide to make it your own.
Or speak to your care co ordinator about seeing a phychologist.
Take care everyone