Don't know how to cope :(

[emilyly]

Hi

I'm new to this but I am desperate for someone to just convince me that one day I will be ok. I have health anxiety, panic anxiety and depression as a result but I'm getting worse everyday and have nobody to talk to who understands how I'm feeling. I've done nothing but cry this weekend because I'm constantly terrified that something bad is going to happen to my body (ie a heart attack) and every little physical symptom i get I try to ignore but this makes it worse because the thoughts that they are the start of something serious are constantly there. I can't talk to my family because that don't understand; they just tell me to either go to the doctors or if i don't then shut up moaning, (even though i'm terrified of going to the doctor in case they tell me I've got something serious) or they just tell me to 'get a grip'. I went to have CBT but only went once because I didn't like the woman doing it and I hate talking about myself anyway so after I told her everything I didn't want to see her again because she knew so much (I know this sounds stupid). I'm in such a bad place right now and I don't know what to do, and I'm so scared that it's just going to completely ruin my life or I'll worry myself into a heart attack or something when I'm still young (I'm 18 by the way). can anyone who's been through this and come out the other side just give me any advice on how to cope or anything?

[Hidden]

h emilyly. I am going thru exactly the same as you, didn't like cbt for exactly the same reasons, only advice I can give is that I have asked for a referral to a psychiatrist to properly diagnose me so I can get the right treatment. I have virtually the same symptoms as you . and for about 2 years, I know it sounds a drastic measure but I know it will help me deal with my problems. all the very best of luck for you in the future.

[sheffieldwed]

Hi Emily how are you love not too good by the sounds of it i have suffered from this since christmas i had a virus and 9 years ago lost my father to a heart attack i know this seems along time ago but for me i bottled it up and focused on looking on my poor mum and my children so didnt actually grieve for him prop then when i got ill i started having awful dreams panic attacks esp at night sweats shakes dizziness palpitations etc i started down a path of extreme fear thinking my heart wasnt right i literally felt ill no sleep terrible and such weird thoughts in my mind i couldnt explain i thought i was going mad i went to hospital 3 times ecgs blood tests water samples blood pressure etc nothing but still didnt feel well after feeling so down and ill i went to my gp he did some bloods and another ecg still fine but he knew me and knew it wasnt like me he started me on a low dose of citalopram and said you come as much as you need i would rather you come here for reassurance if you need it and when i feel something is up i go and see him trust me love they are not there to laugh you need to tell him how scared and how this is ruining your life you need some help love and the sooner the better and you will start to feel better go tmw please you can get help with this and all these people on here are here to help keep blogging and dont feel embarrassed they all help me and we help each other let me know how you go xxx

[angelfaced]

hi emily, i was just like this so you are not alone, all the same symptoms severe anxiety, insomnia, shivers, shakes, terrified and sure i was going mad, nightmares if i slept, panic attacks all the time, fear i was having a heat attack or had a brain tumor or somthing else drastically wrong with me, just felt like i was going to die and i was scared of myself, when i finally went to the doctors i was given sleeping pills but these didnt work and the doctor wanted to give me antidepressents but i wouldnt take there i was so scared. Eventually i took them i also have citalopram and its almost 5 weeks on and i am SO glad i took them, i thought i wouldnt never get better or recover but i am getting better, after 2/3 weeks i started having good days, lower more manageable anxiety and some days it was very low and moments i felt almost like me and now im having more and more better days and less bad days and i know i am now getting better, i goto some councelling weekly and its taken quite a few sessions to get my head around, its hard to talk but i think having all sorts of things locked away in our heads makes us ill sometimes so to get better we have to let it out and its easier to tell people we dont know. They are here to help us get better and it has a very high success rate, the nhs wouldnt pay for it if it didnt so please go and be strong, you will get better it may just take some time. Do you have a womens centre in the city you live in, i went to mine and they were very helpful and understanding and supportive and this forum is here whenever you need support too and anxiety UK are at the end of the phone if you ever need to speak to someone day or night.