I regularly read these blogs and appreciate the help and support you give one another, and me (inadvertently). I went through a particularly tough time in November and searched high and low to find something to help me feel slightly better. One of the main problems I struggle with, is the difficulty others find in understanding what is wrong with me. This is not their fault but I realised that baring my soul may help both myself and others.
At the end of last year, I was presented with an opportunity to write a blog for the Independent. It was a quite a cathartic process and was well received by my friends, family and my employers.
I'm now plucking up the courage to show you guys and ask if you're on Facebook/twitter I'd really appreciate if you could share this link so that we can raise as much awareness as possible.
Hi Natalie, I am so sorry to read of your illness's. I really hope you do recover well from the cancer you brave lady. I can relate strongly to your blog! Wow what an intense and honest piece of writing!! I have shared the link although it did bring an odd sense of panic to me as a GAD sufferer. The way you have described this s**t condition is spot on ! people really have no idea how it feels to live with this on a daily basis. Your blog has moved me to tears and I feel your pain. So much awareness needs to be shared but I have had this for 34 years and every time I think we are getting a breakthrough I raise my hopes up so high.....people do read , watch and then sadly forget while we shift about uncomfortably in the background again. Fabulous work Natalie! I wish only the best for you my dear
Lots of Love and Hugs x Ella x
Hi. Natalie. An excellent article but at the risk of teaching my grandmother to suck eggs I am going to comment on it. Forgive me in advance if some of it you don't feel happy with but I do speak from experience. I cannot nor would I attempt to comment on cancer; but after some years of counselling anxiety sufferers I do have some experience GAD. Also with myself. All the platitudes in the world will not help as you probably know. Your suffering is and has been horrendous and I use those words advisedly. Please do not misunderstand what I am going to say. I have no intention of upsetting anyone. First of all I am struck by your use of certain 'key' words in your article. Battle, Antagonist, Beast, Malevolent Enemy, Struggle. There is no battle to be fought, no enemy to struggle with, no antagonist to fight, no beast to run from. To me all this is a vast expenditure of energy that gets us nowhere and makes matters worse. But these are natural instincts, and while they got primitive man out of trouble they are no use to us. I am not going to suggest 'resignation' or 'putting up with' both of which get you nowhere. But something that is not easy but can and does work if persevered with and that is TOTAL ACCEPTANCE of the feelings. (Remember I am talking of GAD, not feelings related to physical illness). The word 'fight' in the dictionary means "To engage in combat with". We create a battlefield in which we 'fight' this unseen enemy. We create our own hell. We tire ourselves with this constant desire to look over our shoulder waiting for "IT" to appear. Let "IT" appear, go with it; see it for what it is, not a monster to be fought but thoughts and feelings in a tired sensitised mind. Facing, accepting and letting time pass have worked for many. It allowed my recovery from deep depression and anxiety, but it took time and perseverance. It is not for everyone, and I accept, but what is the alternative? Many have been helped and recovered with it. Blessings to you and stay well. jonathan.
Hi Ella, thanks for your lovely words and thanks for sharing the link. I'm sorry to hear you've suffered for so long. I can't believe how debilitating anxiety is, it's so frustrating isn't it?
I know what you mean about raising awareness, you feel like you only ever get so far. I have wondered whether the actual effort of raising awareness helps more than the outcome as it gives you a sense of purpose. Either way, I suppose it all helps.
Thank you, your words are enlightening and I agree with what you're saying about acceptance. However, I have seen two psychiatrists, three counsellors, a hypnotherapist , read countless books, talked to various doctors, nurses, cancer charities but no one has yet explained to me exactly, physically HOW to accept anxiety and all its horrid manifestations. I have tried and tried but perhaps that is the problem- I'm trying too hard?
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