Full Circle

Full Circle

Oh my, exactly two months from my original blog I am back to square one.

I've been down but up again and felt superb two/three days ago - life was back on track, sadly due to my own actions, as if I was taunting anxiety, it's come back big time.

I'm awake, lost, scared, i need to make decisions right now and stick to them and suffer the consequence... will I regret my actions forever... which ever road I take I fear it will be the wrong one.


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14 Replies

  • Hi there, I feel the same I had an amazing day today fell asleep too easy this evening and woke up with a start about oneish believing I'm dying and now I can't get back to sleep and I'm so flipping tired! Maybe shouldn't have got so excited I was getting back to normal!

    Hope you feel better soon x

  • PB1999

    Oh my, I just believe I posted a reply which went into quite a lot of detail but its been lost in the system.

    It was positive, after three hours of thinking, which I hope would have a knock on effect.

    I hope you can relax, get comfortable and sleep some more.

  • PB1999

    Oh my, I just believe I posted a reply which went into quite a lot of detail but its been lost in the system.

    It was positive, after three hours of thinking, which I hope would have a knock on effect.

    I hope you can relax, get comfortable and sleep some more.

  • I've just joined and am struggling quite badly at the moment. I suffer from health anxiety which I've had on and off most of my adult life. The very worst time for me is early morning, I've been waking up at 5am every day and having fearful thoughts around the current focus of my anxiety, feeling panicky and extremely negative. Because it's dark at that time of the morning I feel completely isolated, helpless and hopeless. I've tried getting up, reading, listening to the radio but I can't shake off the awful thoughts that I've got something seriously wrong with me. Does anyone have any suggestions how I can deal with these early morning fears as they feel like waking nightmares.

  • You could always try the elastic band. Theory on your wrist for every time you get a negative thought you have pull the band hard and count I also suffer. Health anxiety and ATM I'm going threw it aswell xx

  • I suffer from Health Anxiety too and have done off and on for many years.

    Early morning waking in a cold sweat and heart racing are such fun!!!!!!!

    So many times I've thought it had almost gone only for it to come back even worse.

    All I need is to catch a TV programme on some illness or a friend to be diagnosed with something and I'm off big time.

  • Hi Bramwell,just read this thread.I to wake up about 5.30 cant get back to sleep,just lay there as I dont want to let my wife know I am having another attack.It starts with asort of fluttering sensation in my chest then a warm wave like feeling washes over me & BINGO! intense burning in the cetre of my chest just below the ribcage,coupled with fear. I too suffer from health anxiety but as far as I know I'm not thinking about anything to do with illness just the fear of this feeling I seem to wait there for it to arrive.

    do you have any symptoms like this?

    Any help would be greatly appreciated.


  • Hi ladygray. The anxiety state has been described as a roller coaster ride. Up one moment and down the next. But the downs do tend to level off as do the ups. The ups are no more important than the downs.Normal living is when everything gets level but we sufferers tend to fasten on to the good times and feel desolated and in despair when a bad day comes. Everyone has good and bad days but they do not get panicky about them as we do. Consequently, it levels out normally. It is the exagerated response we have to any "low" feeling that causes the problem. Try and accept how you feel for the moment including the ups and downs. They will level off but only if you do not fasten on to them. You are having a "set back" which is to be expected. But try and remember what made you feel better for a while and do not put yourself in any anxiety creating situations. Why should you suffer the consequenses of your actions? They might well be the right actions such as acceptance of the way you feel. It sounds as if you are fighting this "thing", but you are doing it to yourself. DO NOT FIGHT! This only creates more adrenalin and more anxiety. Go with it. I have been there and I know. I still have setbacks, but not as bad as before. I wish I could be of more help and I do sympathise; but you will gradually have better days which will eventually level off. Good luck. jonathan.

  • Thank you Jonathan.

    I am fighting a 'thing'. I need to make a decision, I don't know which is the right one, well I thought I did but then threw a spanner in the works.

    Whatever decision I know I will regret it thus causing anxiety... today I have it in my arms and stomach.

    What is this? Selfishness? I don't know. Cowardness for sure.

    Ii know it will pass but I've suffered for 8 years now, not always just one bout yearly.

    Thank you again for your reply.


  • Hi ladygray. It is NOT cowardice!. We are very courageous people when you look at it. How many could go through what we do and still have the courage to carry on and help others on this site. It is a testing time; a "breakthrough" rather than a "breakdown". You may not believe this at the moment but you will be a better person when you come through this. With more understanding and empathy. Physical symptoms can be frightening and cause more anxiety. If your doctor says it is "nerves" then believe him or her. Of course you feel selfish when your whole world is centred on how you feel. Be selfish:so what!I

    l liken the sanner in the works to a bowling alley. You get all your skittles nicely set up and along comes a great big ball and scatters them. (Anxiety, fear despair). Indecision is one of the most annoying symptoms of nervous illness. Just make decision and stick to it. Try not to give up on it too quickly. IT WILL COME RIGHT. Trust in that as others have testified. Blessings and good luck. jonathan.

  • Jonathan

    Thank you again, your words are very encouraging. I have a friend who has provided similar help.

    Update... I have made' the decision' and almost instantly felt better. Waking up thinking but not anxious. Eager now to make (small) plans and get on with day to day life which gets overlooked when anxiety strikes.

    Making the decision also put everything else into perspective...

    One problems makes you question everything.

    Keeping clear of anxious situations such as applying for jobs I don't want to get out of a job I don't like.

    Thank you again Jonathan and I hope others have read your replies.

    Lady Grey (Angela)

  • I agree absolutely with the last reply. Give in to anxiety, stop fighting it, it's not worth all the effort. Then anxiety does gradually pass especially if we have someone to give in with, like on the website.

  • Sorry for my rant on here, but I was in a right state this morning! Thank you for your reply ladygrey! And Jonathan your advice sounds excellent I think I'll try it your way from now on as I'm having them all day everyday sometimes! But not fighting defo sounds better. Thanks guys x

  • PB

    Jonathan really hit the nail on the head.

    I need to take myself out of anxiety causing situations - these tend to crazy life changing decisions.

    I need to make a final decision and stick with it... ride the expected lows.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Lady grey

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