Social Anxiety, Depression and Loneliness (Warning: RANT!!)

[Chocoholic_18_x]

I am a sufferer of severe social anxiety and mild depression, and it feels like I’ll never get out of it. Life is very lonely at the moment as I don’t have any friends and I am almost 18 and never had a relationship yet (by society’s standards, that’s pretty late) and I feel pressure cause I feel like I’m “supposed to” have one by this age. Aside from that, I also struggle very bad making friends as I come across extremely shy and awkward, and always feel like people think I’m boring and have no personality, when really I’m just scared and self conscious. And now, because I’ve suffered with social anxiety for about 4 years now due to bullying at school, I have also started feeling depressed as I’m lonely for so long and have extremely low self esteem. Any time I try to talk to people, they never seem interested. It might sound a bit dramatic, but I’ve also had a few suicidal thoughts. I’ve never attempted it, I’ve only thought of it a few times. But still, it hurts really bad when it feels like no one cares and I feel unworthy of love and happiness. I’m supposed to start work in a few hours, and really don’t want to go in. The other workers get on like a family but I’m extremely shy and don’t open up. It always causes me emotional pain going in, and starting college is going to be the same as I’ve been alone in college for all of last year also. Sitting in the bathroom on my own during lunch breaks, skipping classes... it does cause emotional pain. And since I have dreams of becoming a singer, I have more pressure and anxiety since the biggest part of making it in the music industry is about getting to know people and creating contacts/connections. It does cause me great hurt and pain, but it’s constant battle! I hope one day I’ll get through this and feel happy again, but I don’t want to wait till I’m older to get through this, I would like to be happy as soon as possible. Anyways, that’s my long rant over lol😂 thank you so much for listening to me it means a lot to me! Take care and stay safe! X

[marsdream]

Thank you for being so honest and opening up. I have a teen who has had issues with bullying and social anxiety plus ADHD. She began isolating away from friends who bullied her. I would recommend counseling if you are not already involved with that. My child chose not to attend counseling. So what the counselor recommended was to have support from home and to pull her from school so that is what we did. She did keep a few friends, so what we did was lighten her social schedule as to not overwhelm her and put her on short term herbal supplements. All of the techniques have worked. She has actually confronted one of her bullies which I think took tremendous bravery. Do you have family that can surround you with the positive connections that you need? You need that anchor type support, plus as I said before counseling does work and there is accountability. Being in a relationship is really something that can wait. Do some self care, seek counseling and family support. You can do this!

[Chocoholic_18_x in reply to marsdream]

Thank you for this advice! And I hope she is feeling better, bullying is a horrible thing that no one should have to go through. But I think she is seriously brave for standing up to them, she should be very proud of herself!🖤

I have actually just finished going to counseling last month, and I feel it has helped me a lot, and my counselor has been very supportive of my struggles. The one thing I’m finding hard about counseling, though, is the fact that they give me, in a way, “homework” to do, and I have to go out of my comfort zone. I do try to, it is so hard though. Whenever I’m talking to someone, I come across expressionless and that I look like a statue (at least, that’s what my stepdad said, lol😂). And I get panic attacks too. When I talk to someone who I’m not close to, I feel faint, my heart starts racing and I can’t breath properly. It’s horrible! But it’s a working progress, and it can only go up from here! Again thank you for your advice, and stay safe during this strange time! X

[marsdream in reply to Chocoholic_18_x]

Thanks Chocoholic18. Take a few deep breaths as you go into your social situation. My teen had "homework" before, it was tough but it was completed. You've got this!

[Sabio77]

Chocoholic_18_x , i am glad you shared your story, you are never alone here. may I share something that was told to me from a very positive minded person to help me? She told me that everyone is created with a life purpose. my friend, that includes you too. you are valuable. you are worthy of a good healthy friendship/relationship. the right one will come along when you least expect it. i strongly urge you to make a list of good things about yourself and focus on them. then another list of what you want to work on. do little bit at a time. the healing and recovery process takes time. believe in yourself. society wants to set limits and goals on relationship/peer pressure if you havent done certain things by a certain age. that is totally not fair. not everyone is in the same environment to accomplish such things. soooo, give yourself some grace and mercy and lots of self-care/self-love. focus on you and what you like to do and are good at. by the way, what kind of music do you want to play and do you want to sing or play an instrument? I would like to know how you are doing? I am here if you want to talk more... im your friend.

[designguy]

Hello Choco, i too was bullied in school and as a result developed social anxiety disorder which I had for years. I thought I had generalized anxiety but a few years ago I found out about complex ptsd and was diagnosed with it and social anxiety disorder. I have recovered with a combination of the right meds for me and trauma therapy using emdr and talk therapy.

I wish someone had told me I could get help years ago and recover and you are already ahead by knowing what it is you are dealing with.

Bullying is a form of emotional and possible physical complex trauma. I urge you to find a therapist who specifically treats trauma and also start learning everything you can about it and social anxiety disorder to recover. There is also a lot of good resources on line. You will make greater progress by working with a specialist in this area.

I hope this helps.