Not going well, I’m hanging on by a thread

[Catatvet05]

This is the first time I’ve opened about how I feel, it’s at the point where I need to at this stage.

So much has gone on, my health is still hanging on but my confidence is shattered.

I’m in a few situations that gives me worry, one being that I’ve been looking for work for some time; also where am I going in my life, why is my health still rubbish and why am I always struggling?

I’ve gone through a number of job applications that have failed me miserably. I go though job applications that I’ve completed thinking and overseeing what I thought was a good written piece of statements, sadly it isn’t: I see some typo mistakes I really am shamed to say, but what I’ve written is good - okay, but is never that good in my eyes anyway - what ever I write. The blind cv application is annoying me because you have to complete a full online application as well as produce a blind cv - does this still give the candidate a fair process.

I’ve also found out that someone I know very well has the virus, we all have been ill of late. Now I’m wondering do I have it as well? Getting a test kit was also rejected- I don’t drive so the only option is to self isolate. 😒

My application to apply for a council home under the emergency file was rejected- wrong application was brought to their attention it seems. I’m not qualified to apply because my situation is good, I have a family home (with only me and my mum) I desperately tried to explain that my relationship with her is affecting my mental health. I literally have to be homeless or until she down sizes: my opinion now is to either look for private or wait? My conversation was cut short because my mum was screaming her head of due to the fact she broke the outlet pipe to the washing machine , which flooded the whole kitchen.

I’m still furloughed and haven’t heard from my manager only from a newsletter, which reads that anyone still furloughed will need to take their holiday leave prior to coming back. This to me is a red flag, am I correct?

I just needed to get some of the things of my chest, as I know it will affect me tonight going to sleep.

I got to admit, I’m terribly sad, not to mention feeling that I need help. I keep doing things alone and I’m starting to feel even more pressure and sadness.

I’m talking to a specialist tomorrow, guess its got to be done. 🥺

I

[Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through some rough times. I know it's a constant battle, but if you keep fighting and trying your best it WILL get better. Today and tomorrow might really stink, but if you don't give up the pain will subside and something greater will eventually take its place.

[Catatvet05 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I take everything to heart and over think everything- doesn’t help

[gerrerd]

Start listening to Dr Wayne W Dyer, youtube, or Hayhouse.com !

[Delzek]

I have been there Catavet05, ask your Mum to write you a letter demanding you Leave and give it to the council . She may refuse, if she does sit her down and tell her that things have to change if she wants you to stay! If that doesn't work then go to your Dr explain the situation and ask for a letter for the council explaining how the situation is affecting your Mental Health, as well as physical health. He/She may charge up to £15 ,for that depending on your circumstances. If your Mother is Mentally or Physically abusive, then the Council has an obligation to find you either Emergency accommodation or just alternative accommodation, if they do not explain that under Government Guidelines they have a "Duty of Care" under these circumstances. The Council may still try to reject your claim, It's always better to get someone from an organisation ie Women's centre, local Mental Health organisation or if you can afford one a Solicitor, having someone with an official title will always help cut red tape. Good luck. All the best, Derek.

Ps I was a housing and benefit advice adviser for a local charity for a long time. Here in the UK.

[Catatvet05 in reply to Delzek]

Hello, thank you for your message. I think this is an old system or are they still processing this method? Someone had asked me to do this but I don’t have the guts to ask nor mention that I’m looking else where. She found out from my sister that I admitted she’s giving me anxiety- she didn’t like it and asked me to not speak about her. I’m nervous about the whole situation and she believes it not her it’s me.

I had asked the council about how I go about getting accommodation - they said your mum will have to down size, get her home and then I can claim emergency accommodation. Because I’m in a family home they refused my application.

Today, I received an email asking for paper work, proof of everything pretty much. They mentioned they wanted to visit the property I’m in to see inspect it? Will they? Is this to get me on the council register?

[Delzek]

No that is still law, your Mother's accommodation has nothing to do with your needs,! I keep up to date with new regulations as I am registered with the records office any new benefit or Housing regulations I normally get before local Authorities get them

[Catatvet05 in reply to Delzek]

I tried to explain my mental health but my mother was around. Still, the council throb me off. I had mentioned in my application about my mental health. What is the paper work for?

[Hidden]

Hello

It sounds like so many things have mounted up and doing a 100 miles an hour in your head that they are all getting out of hand which is what happens when it comes to anxiety

We have to take a step back

Deep breaths and start a list what is priority , what really is a worry or what we making a worry that we don't need to be worrying about at this moment

What can we actually do something about and what can't we do anything about the ones we can't we have to let go of , not always easy but will make us ill if we don't

Your job seems ok for now , things out there are so difficult for many regarding the job situation but for now you have money coming in so maybe that is one you can let go of and tell yourself I have done all I can and will deal with it when and if I need to

Housing is difficult to , the Council just don't have enough

The optio usually in your situation if you wanted to leave a Council family home yourself and your Mother would have to agree I think to be in a flat each a one bedroom maybe , they just don't have enough houses to leave one person in it

However if you could get back up letters from your Doctor saying how this is affecting you and your MH this will all help your case and writing to your local MP or emailing them contacting them by phone they could possibly support you to so that is something more you can do regarding that situation

I think maybe the housing would be the first thing I would try and see how much support I could get with by contacting the MP and my Doctor and then as and when look at the rest but put them on the back burner for now

You have done the right thing requesting a covid test and when it comes you will know you are ok when you get your results but if you are healthy enough for now try and let go

I am glad you are talking to a specialist and hope it goes well and that they may be able to support you

I can only ever deal with one thing at a time and have to try and use this method , several things have happened this Morning and already I feel overpowered so got to let go of some and just take the one I need to deal with now

Hope getting it all out helped

Take Care x

[Catatvet05 in reply to Hidden]

I’m sorry to hear that you have troubles, and there’s me going on about mine. It’s a difficult year for everyone.

Thanks for your advice. I’m not working full time and was before all this started (my contract is part time). I can’t afford leaving on part time wage and sadly had to get support. Now it’s pressure ti find work quite quickly. We both equally pay rent and the bills, it’s been tough. My mums struggling as well and I feel I’m expected to support her,if she is but I support myself.

Anyway, I guess there’s worst things going on right now. Looking for a new council home will take time and they have asked me for paper work to support application? Not sure what for since they said hey couldn’t proceed with emergency accommodation.

Hope you get things sorted and thanks a lot .

[Hidden in reply to Catatvet05]

One thing at a time , I know it is difficult but what we can't fix today I am having to learn to put down

I think it is unfair on part time wages you have to support your Mum if needed

Get all the support you can to back up your housing situation , MP'S are usually really good mine has helped me so much with several things I would look into contacting them

Keep talking and getting it all out and let us know how you get on x

[Delzek]

Cat it doesn't matter where you're Mum. Lives,all the council needs to know is the situation is affecting your health physically and Mentally! Also as your mother is abusive they have a "Duty of Care "! Please go alone to CAB they will do everything they can to help you. The paperwork i mentioned will help tremendously if you can get it if not ,there are other ways.