Friend troubles...again.

[DemureRose]

My last few posts have been about my friends and the feelings I have around them. I know it’s very redundant so I don’t blame anyone for not being interested in responding to this new post, this is mainly for catharsis.

For those that haven’t read my previous posts, here is a little backstory.

I’m in a friendship with three other girls. Two of the girls, we’ll call them Hope and Reagan, I’ve known since kindergarten and we used to be in a group but the group broke up in 7th grade. I was really good friends with Reagan after our group broke up but she randomly stopped talking to me not even a year into our private friendship. Then I got really close to Hope and we were off and on friends until junior year when we found a new group and we were all attached at the hip. New group broke up this year (senior year) and we reconnected with Reagan and added another girl, I’ll call her Jenna, who is a year older. For the past few months, we’ve all been very close and I thought I’d found a “forever” friendship.

Now it’s slowly breaking apart, at least for me. The other three are happy with one another. Ok now I’ll explain this new post.

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Right now Jenna is on a trip with some of her other friends, so she currently isn’t the source of my hurt.

Twice this week, Hope and Reagan have had dinner dates together and didn’t invite me. Posted all over social media about it, but didn’t bother inviting me. This isn’t a new thing but it’s typically a lot more private and they don’t do proper things, they just go to a drive though and rant. But these two times they’ve legitimately hung out together and went to proper restaurants and everything.

Maybe if I hadn’t had a history of friends just excluding me from everything, I wouldn’t be so hurt. But I’ve literally told both Hope and Reagan of my issue because of past exclusion. They know I take it very personal. So for them to openly do it, is hurtful.

What’s funny to me is that they are both totally insulted by exclusion themselves. Story time.

Before covid, me and Hope we’re trying to figure out our prom plans. While discussing it she told me that SHE has already made plans with Reagan and I’m welcome to join. Thing is...it’s Reagan AND her friends. Friends I don’t know. Awkward right? But me not being confrontational, just agreed.

When covid hit and prom was postponed for a few months, I thought this would be my chance to replan the night. So I messaged Hope and asked her if maybe she wanted to just hang out just the two of us. She got insulted. She said “What about Reagan? I don’t want her to feel like we ditched her.” I said she could of course come, no problem. But Hope said that she didn’t think Reagan would want to because Reagan would want to be with her friends. So we were back to the original plan 🙄.

But isn’t it totally ironic that Hope was so insulted that I would try and exclude Reagan but doesn’t give a crap about excluding me?? Thanks Hope.

And maybe it seems like I’m getting irritated over nothing and just overreacting but it’s been months of just trying to overlook signs that I was 2nd best. Here’s just a few.

-Tried to sit next to Hope on limo at prom, she said “I want Reagan to sit by me”

-listened to Reagan, Hope and Jenna talk about conversations they had without me

-had a cap and gown photo shoot with Reagan and Hope, they both chose to make their backgrounds a picture of the two of them that was taken at the photo shoot instead of picking one with the three of us.

-both posted that previous picture on social media tagging each other but not me

-Reagan and Hope being all smiley and excited watching the other walk across the stage at graduation and congratulating them when they walked back to their seat, didn’t even acknowledge me when I tried to smile at them.

I ignored all those moments but they have now overtaken my mind. I’m literally the second pick. None of them seem to care about me at all, or care enough to think of me first.

#2ndbest

[Bba6]

I feel that way all the time but instead of with friends it's with my family.