I feel like what I want to do is not being considered.

[DemureRose]

So in one of my last posts, I wrote about how I was stuck in a dilemma about what I should do on prom night. For those that didn't read that post, basically I mentioned that my friend, Haylee, was planning on eating dinner with my other friend, Marissa, at a nearby cafe. The problem with that situation is that Marissa has her own friend group, whom Haylee and I aren't friends with. Haylee is super charismatic and friends with everyone, so she won't be bothered by that situation. However, for me, it's super awkward.

Okay, now to my current state on the situation. I talked to my mom who recommended asking Haylee if we could maybe go eat dinner just us two and go to the cafe for a dessert. That way we both win. So I told Haylee this plan and I even said that one of our friends that already graduated could join us at whatever restaurant we chose. However, Haylee did not seem interested in this plan. She actually seemed insulted that I didn't offer to invite Marissa too, to which I said that she was more than willing to come, I just didn't want her to feel like she had to choose between us or her other friends. From what I could tell, Haylee was dead set on eating with Marissa. She kept saying that Marissa had eaten dinner at this cafe on prom night every year that she has gone to prom. Haylee said that she would ask Marissa, but her tone suggested that my idea was not going to happen.

I guess what bothers me is that Haylee isn't taking what I want to do into consideration. She only seems to be thinking about herself. Now don't get me wrong, sometimes you have to be selfish in order to ensure that you are happy. But if I was in her shoes, knowing that she didn't have many friends other than me, I feel like I would try to make the decision WITH her, instead of making plans THEN asking if the plans are okay. It would be one thing if I was being difficult and indecisive about the situation, but she made plans without even asking me what I want to do. That's what irritates me. I feel like with her, I never get to do what I want to do. It's always either what she wants, or me comprising so much on what I want to do that it just ends up benefiting her. What is actually funny is that we were invited to join a party bus with some other friends, but Haylee said she didn't want to do that because it would be awkward and we'd only talk to each other. And because she is excited about eating with Marissa, I cant even tell her that this is the same situation that I am in. Funny how irony works isn't it?

[Yittle]

Hi I’m assuming you’re in high school? When I was in high school I also didn’t have that many friends (even as an adult I don’t). But I have also been put in situations were I was forced to hang out with friends of friends that I didn’t really want there too. I know for someone with anxiety it’s uncomfortable. I guess my advice for you is to just be mindful to the fact that Haylee and Marissa don’t know what it’s like to have anxiety and so they can’t fathom how you feel. In my life I wish sometimes I took a step back and realized this. It can help you feel a little better, knowing this isn’t because your friends don’t care and it can save you from fighting with people you like and are comfortable with.

I think it’s awesome that you found this community now at your age. I wish I had when I was younger because when I was your age I spent time feeling really alone. You’re going to do good girly just stay positive!