Happy New Year everyone!

[lizbeth_v]

Happy new year everyone!!! Hope everyone’s year starts off great and may everyone have a blessed year.

Little story... my boyfriends mother doesn’t really like me and I don’t know why. I don’t know if I must’ve offended her somehow. I’ve been nothing but nice to her but I guess I might’ve offended her somehow. Well anyway.. I was planning on texting her tomorrow and letting her know that I apologize for whatever it is that I did to make her not like me. However I need some help on what to say and how to start off the text. You guys are great with helping out so it would be greatly appreciated!

[hippieebbbz09]

Then don’t apologize. If you know you haven’t offended his mother and have been nothing but nice..? No need to apologize at all.

I would suggest mentioning that dynamic to your partner, see if he knows maybe why she’s that why—after all that’s his mom ...he may know what’s up. OR ...another angle, maybe offer her a lunch date, just you and her , and ask what’s going on.

My theory, ppl can say anything through a text —but to confront directly (and I KNOW you may get anxious of this thought alone..) makes a difference and she’ll definitely appreciate the directness and YOU will have peace of mind b/c that matters.

Hold anxiety by the bootstraps and let that motivate you to confront the whole thing and see what’s what. I’m sure it’s fine.

Idk a mom in the WORLD, that takes it easy on their son’s partner, you could’ve been dating him for YEARS and some moms still won’t open up til possibly marriage or it may remain this way :/ . But yes, here you are his woman , and could possibly be the wife and there’s now another lady in his life, not just her. It took my boyfriend’s mom 2 years to open up to me and actually like me. I was reserved when I met her , and I naturally am that way to EVERYONE I don’t know, I observe first ,then act. But , she thought it was rude and weird. I was quiet as well (I’m socially awkward lol) and again , I was the weird, rude girlfriend...I didn’t talk much or take initiative to talk to her when we all traveled (my bf and his family—to his dad’s homeland) and that pissed her off. I was nervous and anxiety didn’t help me , it tarnished my rep with them. BUT, even if I’m quiet and reserved, im still nice to ppl, it’s decency ,ya know ? Let’s go forward to now , i now have her number , we talk way more than before and she’s opened up to me. I , first, apologized for that whole dynamic. You just want to make the RIGHT impression but that advice is BS. The best first impression is to be AUTHENTICALLY YOU!! But then, I visited the family more and talked to her more , and things clicked from there. In my case, she was just tough on me because she wanted to see what i was made of, and wants the best for her son, like any mother.

Your story may be different .

So to conclude my story time and lengthy message lol, I wanna make this point : it’s gonna take time for his mother to open up maybe. But don’t let that make you feel any way. Don’t . That man loves you and you love him. That matters. So, talk to your partner when you can about it , and even suggest taking mom to lunch or visiting her and talk it out. Things will turn around for the better :)))!

[lizbeth_v in reply to hippieebbbz09]

Thank you for this message it’s definitely given me more motivation. I’m glad everything is better with you and your partners mother now! I hope things work out for the best between her and I. I appreciate the help! I’ll definitely use what you’ve mentioned above!

[kmbrown87]

It's not you, she's never going to like you because she probably doesn't like herself or she's lonely n her son is the only man she has or she just doesn't like any woman dating her son. Trust me, it isn't you. Just fake nice to her and avoid confrontation if you can n dont deal with her unless you absolutely have to.